I Still Feel Greek...

[clemsongirl]

And what was the point of writing all this? Do you feel better after sharing your story with a bunch of strangers on the internet? What do you want us to do about it, besides read it and then question your motives? I can't speak for anyone else here, but I have no sympathy to offer you.

[winnie_tuck]

Originally Posted by clemsongirl

And what was the point of writing all this? Do you feel better after sharing your story with a bunch of strangers on the internet? What do you want us to do about it, besides read it and then question your motives? I can't speak for anyone else here, but I have no sympathy to offer you.

I have sympathy, but this ordeal is nothing new to any of us. I now feel it's a cliche when every girl says " things changed after initiation". It's like the "GDI" motto ( thank you "fratstar" bf on my couch). I would like to just say recruitment is not some smoke and mirror trick, girls show their real faces, the shallow, catty, and cruel sides when meeting pnm. How many girls acted like you were below their chapter or not as cute? The answer is many. I knew from the very minute I ran home which girls would like me and which wouldn't. I am licensed in such behavioral analysis but it is basic body language that will always reveal someone's true feelings. This isn't the first post about being isolated, that's when you confront the person or people with a lemon squeeze, duh! I also never have understood if you aren't liked how you joined??? It isn't good business to accept people and let them flounder, a sorority after all needs money to survive. In conclusion, I do feel sympathy for your situation. I once had a very shy friend in her organization, the advise I gave her was keep trying to establish a bond. It can be somewhat fake if it's only appearances but theoretically it's still a bond by association. Manipulate the hell out of it, go to every event with the friendamies, sit at lunch with them ( FYI they can't refuse you or people will talk), and oh hell I forgot you had a little!! That's like 1 friend at least!

[33girl]

If any part of this is valid, I would say that this is my main gripe with the watered down pledge programs. You can't force the pledges to do anything because that would be hazing. You do nothing but coddle them, give them gifts and shield them from the facts of life. Then the minute they are initiated, the honeymoon's over.

If the OP (along with many other girls who disaffiliate) would be shown from the start that being in a sorority is WORK and that much is expected of them, I don't think we would have this problem. Just because you're asking someone to work doesn't mean you don't care about them...but if you've coddled them for 6 weeks I can see where they would get confused.

This all being said...defriending your little? As Jen said of Brad, there's a sensitivity chip missing somewhere.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If any part of this is valid, I would say that this is my main gripe with the watered down pledge programs. You can't force the pledges to do anything because that would be hazing. You do nothing but coddle them, give them gifts and shield them from the facts of life. Then the minute they are initiated, the honeymoon's over.

If the OP (along with many other girls who disaffiliate) would be shown from the start that being in a sorority is WORK and that much is expected of them, I don't think we would have this problem. Just because you're asking someone to work doesn't mean you don't care about them...but if you've coddled them for 6 weeks I can see where they would get confused.

Well said! It is interesting that we've changed the pledge periods at just the time we have one of the most coddled age cohorts ever going through college. Not a good combo really.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If any part of this is valid, I would say that this is my main gripe with the watered down pledge programs. You can't force the pledges to do anything because that would be hazing. You do nothing but coddle them, give them gifts and shield them from the facts of life. Then the minute they are initiated, the honeymoon's over.

If the OP (along with many other girls who disaffiliate) would be shown from the start that being in a sorority is WORK and that much is expected of them, I don't think we would have this problem. Just because you're asking someone to work doesn't mean you don't care about them...but if you've coddled them for 6 weeks I can see where they would get confused.

This.

However, if what the OP says about the "no boys, no fraternities, no parties" thing is true, then I do understand how this would be a frustrating situation. I did A LOT for my sorority, and I didn't see it as work.. but if all I was allowed to do was go to meetings, philanthropy events, and initiation, and a sister was going to report me any time I had a sip of beer, I wouldn't have enjoyed myself at all. And yes, I would have seen it as too much "work."

That being said, I'm not sure how you can defriend your little and not expect some fallout from that. If you defriended all of the sisters, that's one thing. You could have at least said you were cutting your friends list down to family only, or something (although I don't think I would even suggest doing this). The only way you could defriend people that you see and talk to nearly every day and not offend anyone is if you removed yourself from Facebook completely. This was just a bad move on your part.

ETA: btw.. when you do a good job, whether it be at a sorority event, at work, at home, or anywhere else, you shouldn't expect to be praised for it. You're an adult now. You won't always get the recognition you (think you) deserve. That's life.