Bridesmaids- Who pays for hair?

[greekdee]

I was matron-of-honor in my niece's wedding two years ago. She had someone to do hair and make-up, but it was completely optional. I was the oldest attendant there by more than a decade and decided to take advantage of the option -- I paid $60 for hair AND make-up. Plus, my hair was long and styling included a French braid followed by some loopdy-doopty, swirly up do. That, with a full make-up session to boot, seemed like a deal at $60!

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by 33girl

$100 is way too much for a HAIRDO (unless they're all getting matching cut and color). Your sister needs to quit being a bridezilla and let them go to someplace cheaper. Or better yet - does she really not have ANY friends who do hair and can do it inexpensively? Most people do.

Originally Posted by greekdee

I was matron-of-honor in my niece's wedding two years ago. She had someone to do hair and make-up, but it was completely optional. I was the oldest attendant there by more than a decade and decided to take advantage of the option -- I paid $60 for hair AND make-up. Plus, my hair was long and styling included a French braid followed by some loopdy-doopty, swirly up do. That, with a full make-up session to boot, seemed like a deal at $60!

To be fair, $100 for an updo sounds like a lot, but for a metro region like Boston/NYC/Los Angeles/San Fran, things just cost more. I agree that it is ridiculous, but that's the reality. People also seem to upcharge for weddings! I once had the option of a $100 updo for a wedding in a big city, but the bride didn't care if we had our hair done professionally or styled it ourselves. So I did my own.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

To be fair, $100 for an updo sounds like a lot, but for a metro region like Boston/NYC/Los Angeles/San Fran, things just cost more. I agree that it is ridiculous, but that's the reality. People also seem to upcharge for weddings! I once had the option of a $100 updo for a wedding in a big city, but the bride didn't care if we had our hair done professionally or styled it ourselves. So I did my own.

These areas are more expensive, and they definitely have more places that are pricier, but that doesn't mean you can't find a deal. I grew up around Boston, and I know there are places in Boston and the surrounding area where you can get an up-do for much less than $100.

The best wedding I was ever in was my cousin's. His wife did the bridesmaids' hair (and her own). And the day before, we all put together a fancy cupcake tower and made cupcakes, and she used to work at AC Moore doing floral arrangements, so she put together all of our bouquets (while we assisted her). We had the best time doing all this stuff together, and we definitely saved a few bucks.

ETA: Sometimes, up-dos aren't worth it. Like others have said - many times, it's just a bunch of hairspray and bobby pins, and the bridesmaids end up looking like someone is pulling their hair the whole time if they're done too tight.

Some people just look better with their hair down, or when they do it themselves. They obviously know their hair better than anyone else. I was in a wedding once and had my hair done, and the hairdresser styled my bangs and LOADED them with hairspray. They looked awful and curled in a weird way. No hairdresser has ever styled them correctly. I ended up brushing them out and doing them myself. And I kind of wish I could have just worn my hair down.

But the up-do is seen as "the thing to do."

[aephi alum]

I kept it low-key. I told my bridesmaids, "Do whatever you like with your hair. As long as it's clean and nicely done, do whatever you like." My three bridesmaids had very different hair - one with thick straight dark hair, one with short curly dark hair, and one with long thin blonde hair. If any of them had chosen to drop $100 on an updo, that would have been their choice. (None did.)

My thinking is that, if a bride dictates that her bridesmaids have a specific hairstyle that costs a lot of money, she should at least chip in if not pay outright. A wash, cut, and updo can be damn expensive.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

My thinking is that, if a bride dictates that her bridesmaids have a specific hairstyle that costs a lot of money, she should at least chip in if not pay outright.

But-But-But it's HER special day! How dare you be so selfish?!

/has way too many bridesmaid dresses


FWIW, the most fun I ever had as a bridesmaid getting ready was with a bunch of bridesmaids and friends who were there to hang out and help us get ready. There were about 15-20 of us. We all did one another's hair and makeup and the guests oohed and ahhed and wanted to know what salon we'd been to.

[ColdInCanada11]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

My thinking is that, if a bride dictates that her bridesmaids have a specific hairstyle that costs a lot of money, she should at least chip in if not pay outright. A wash, cut, and updo can be damn expensive.

I completely agree! (Then again, with my English background, I always assumed that the bride would pay for everything, UK style.) I've felt very taken advantage of as a bridesmaid. It's one thing if it's a low key backyard wedding where they are clearly trying to keep it as budget friendly as possible, but when it's a huge wedding, well, that's something else. I was once told by that bride, "I would rather spend it on myself." Thanks for that, nevermind the $1500 I put out for everything. Needless to say, I don't agree with the whole "You have to do what I say because I'm the bride" for every little thing*, and if I end up like that, I will take a long hard look at my life.
*I understand for the bridal gown, ceremony/reception location, big ticket issues, this is fair.

[joliebelle]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

My thinking is that, if a bride dictates that her bridesmaids have a specific hairstyle that costs a lot of money, she should at least chip in if not pay outright. A wash, cut, and updo can be damn expensive.

This is exactly how I feel about shoes and jewelry for weddings. If you want me to wear those nude pumps from Steve Madden, you had better be paying for them.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

To be fair, $100 for an updo sounds like a lot, but for a metro region like Boston/NYC/Los Angeles/San Fran, things just cost more. I agree that it is ridiculous, but that's the reality.

Chicagoan here, and I'm on board with those who think that $100 is a bit high. My hair along with my bridesmaids was $65 per person. My mom's salon in the burbs, which goes after a slightly upscale customer, charges $65 for regular up-do. (She bought it after my wedding, if anyone was wondering why I didn't just get it done there lol) Don't get me wrong, there are places that EASILY charge $100, but there's lots of other options at nice salons.

I think there's a billion variables that play into it, many which have already been mentioned in this thread.

I personally did not pay for my bridesmaids, but I think I was being pretty reasonable:

1) I had a stylist and make up artist come to my house and gave my maids the option to get their hair & make up done at my house. If they were loyal to a particular salon or hair stylist, I totally get that and it was fine by me. (One maid did her hair and make up on her own and looked great!) I made sure to give them a few months notice with the prices so they could budget/decide if they wanted to do it or not.

2) They were allowed to wear whatever hairstyle/make up they wanted.

3) I let my bridesmaids wear whatever shoes and jewelry they wanted, as long as the shoes were silver and as long as the jewelry was silver/white gold or silver colored. None of my bridesmaids went out and bought jewelry for the event and I think only 1 went out to buy new shoes, only because she's a shoe addict and was going to buy herself new shoes no matter what lol

4) Only one had to travel from out of town, so for the most part everyone had low transportation costs. The one who did fly in didn't have to pay for a hotel since her parents still live here.

5) Alterations for their dresses were taken care of.

6) We supplied a little continental breakfast/brunch with bagels, muffins, mini sandwiches, fruit and mimosas for everyone.

I think if you have trade offs, it's reasonable to ask them to pay for their hair. If they've already been shelling out lots, it would be really nice to cover them.