But I'm Perfect! (a Recruitment Story Parody)

[peppermint23]

I decided to go all out. It was now or never, and there was no way in hell I was walking out of this without giving it my last shot.

I went to the Awkwards party and stared blankly at my rusher, trying to decide which form of acne treatment would work best for her skin. I got bumped about 7-8 times, which is probably good because everyone wanted to meet me!

After that I walked over to the Goddesses house and waited for their next party to start. A Pi Chi came up to me and asked me if I was lost.

I rolled my eyes. "Can you get me in?" I asked.

She frowned. "What do you mean? Which rush group are you in?"

Then the door opened and the gorgeous Goddesses starting chanting and screaming. When they were finished I bolted inside before anyone else could stop me. The Pi Chi was running after me, but I was too quick. I slammed the door and locked it behind me.

The Goddesses gaped at me, stunned.

"What the hell are you doing?" one of them shrieked, as the Pi Chi banged furiously on the door.

I took a deep breath. "Listen guys, I know you all wanted me, but the Greek life office made a horrible mistake. And I know it's probably been hard for a lot of you, because you really wanted me in your house. So I'm here to let you know that...my grandfather is very wealthy and if you let me in we'll pay you off and keep quiet."

The Pi Chi's bangs and yells got louder. One of the sisters moved to get the door but I blocked her path.

"Hey," she said. "Aren't you the girl who made that creepy Photoshop picture?"

"Please, you have to take me! You don't know how rich I am and what we could do for you!"" I begged, getting down my knees and crying. "I'll be forced to join the fat house and I'll end up obese and ugly and jobless!"

One of the sisters came up to me and patted my shoulder. "Sorry honey, you have to leave now. We decided to cut you for a reason -"

"BUT I'M PERFECT!" I screamed so loudly that the chandelier above us rattled.

"Someone call campus security," one of the girls whispered.

I was officially released from recruitment that day, personally escorted by security

Humiliated, I went home and spent some time in between re-subscribing to PerezHilton.com's prenium membership pondering where I had gone wrong. Maybe I wasn't right for Greek life. Maybe I had been too arrogant, thinking I was so right for the Goddesses when really I had to accept I just wasn't good enough. Maybe the Awkwards saw what the true loser in me and knew I'd fit in perfectly with them. Maybe they needed a super hot sister so they could mix with better frats.

Maybe...I should create my own sorority!

So after 4 months of hard work, planning and dedication, I have founded the first local chapter of Sigma Epsilon Chi Epsilon....better known as SEXE! (There's no Y in the Greek alphabet so I had to settle)

I'm currently President, VP, Event Coordinator and Housing chair. My reluctant but willing roommate is on Pedicure Committee (for $5 an hour) We meet every Wednesday night so she can do my nails and fill me in on the latest gossip in her circle of friends. I've been putting up posters all around campus (which have sadly been ripped down and defaced by my jealous peers) and am now in the process of making my very own website, complete with my modeling pictures and biography.

If you're interested in joining, send me a PM and I'll let you know my school's name!

I wanted to share my story to show that if you really want something, you should NEVER give up on your dreams! You CAN do it! You CAN be a sorority girl, no matter what anyone (and Panhellenic - they're trying to shut me down under some stupid legal clause) says!

Because when you know you're perfect, it's all worth it in the end