Is Greek right for my dd?

[pinapple]

OP. I think what people are trying to say is we get that you want us to understand that your daughter is gifted. Many Honors Programs at State U attract and recruit these kids. Your daughter's stated IQ at 148 places her in the "gifted" category and even if she were to obtain a few more points and be considered a genius, she would be 2% of the population instead of around 6-8%. So even if she were in the top 2% that means at the average State U there are 100 other "genius" people just like her and 300-400 gifted kids. That is the problem in college. You go from wicked smart in HS to above average in college. But I assure you, someone in that school will be smarter, a better dancer and have a better personality. So approaching recruitment from the humble side of life is important. I know many people in our state's top honors program and I have NO idea what their IQs are (once you start college, HS GPA, test scores, etc are NEVER discussed) but they are brilliant and each have unique talents that make them who they are. But what is even more awesome about them is they are humble and enjoy being friends a diverse group of people who learn from each other.

[JLCo]

Originally Posted by pinapple

OP. I think what people are trying to say is we get that you want us to understand that your daughter is gifted. Many Honors Programs at State U attract and recruit these kids. Your daughter's stated IQ at 148 places her in the "gifted" category and even if she were to obtain a few more points and be considered a genius, she would be 2% of the population instead of around 6-8%. So even if she were in the top 2% that means at the average State U there are 100 other "genius" people just like her and 300-400 gifted kids. That is the problem in college. You go from wicked smart in HS to above average in college. But I assure you, someone in that school will be smarter, a better dancer and have a better personality. So approaching recruitment from the humble side of life is important. I know many people in our state's top honors program and I have NO idea what their IQs are (once you start college, HS GPA, test scores, etc are NEVER discussed) but they are brilliant and each have unique talents that make them who they are. But what is even more awesome about them is they are humble and enjoy being friends a diverse group of people who learn from each other.

OK. I see what you are saying. My daughter hangs out with the other "higher ability" kids at school. They are a fairly large group and have been in classes together since 1st grade. She really enjoys their company. She tells me she gets impatient with some of the kids that are at the other end of the spectrum. It seems that what you are saying is that the sororities have a high caliber of individuals. This seems even more likely today than during my time at college since everything is so much more competitive now.

I am not really concerned whether or not she gets a "bid". I did not belong to a sorority and was quite happy with my choice. However, if she wants to pursue this, I will support her decision. Right now our main concern is trying to narrow down the college choices- so this is a factor relevant to the decision.

[Katmandu]

Originally Posted by JLCo

OK. I see what you are saying. My daughter hangs out with the other "higher ability" kids at school. They are a fairly large group and have been in classes together since 2nd grade. She really enjoys their company. She tells me she gets impatient with some of the kids that are at the other end of the spectrum.

Do you mean this to come across as arrogant and elitist as it sounds? Being of "higher ability" does not in any way equate with the far more important virtues of kindness, empathy, inclusivity, charity and generosity of spirit. Those are qualities that sororities try to foster and it sounds as if they might be helpful to her.

Of course, she will have to contend not only with sisters who rival her for awesomeness, but also sisters who might try her patience for a variety of reasons. Many of my beloved, adorable sisters were completely average--and I learned more from them than from the superstars.

[JLCo]

Originally Posted by Katmandu

Do you mean this to come across as arrogant and elitist as it sounds? Being of "higher ability" does not in any way equate with the far more important virtues of kindness, empathy, inclusivity, charity and generosity of spirit. Those are qualities that sororities try to foster and it sounds as if they might be helpful to her.

Of course, she will have to contend not only with sisters who rival her for awesomeness, but also sisters who might try her patience for a variety of reasons. Many of my beloved, adorable sisters were completely average--and I learned more from them than from the superstars.

No. I am not being elitist. I am being honest in my assessment and realize that she needs growth in this area.

[Katmandu]

Originally Posted by JLCo

No. I am not being elitist. I am being honest in my assessment and realize that she needs growth in this area.

I salute you. Those are tough words for a mom to say. I'm a mom too, and it's hard, isn't it? I didn't mean my words to be harsh and I apologise if they were a bit short.

Sorority life is very fulfilling, but it is very time consuming, if you are going to do it right and reap the benefits. I hope you will encourage her to explore and consider her options. Most of us on this board wouldn't trade our experiences in our sororities and fraternities for anything. But if we are honest, most of us will say there were trying and difficult times, too. And trying and difficult people. It's great life preparation!

I wish you and her the best, and thanks for hanging in for a tough conversation.