Daughter is a legacy and was cut

[UNCalum]

Wow! Thanks for all of the advice! I have a couple of questions...

Do girls in a sorority actually remember from year to year who they cut? I rationalized it that 25% or so will graduate and 25% or so will be new sisters, so only a portion of the girls might remember my daughter having been cut. Do they keep notes from year to year? (with legacies, I bet they actually do). So to re-rush my house will likely give the same results?

Also, from what I understand, ALL of the houses on campus have to be present at the Spring Rush kick-off. Even the ones that have no intention of taking any new pledges. I agree that it will be misleading and probably detrimental to the houses that may not be top tier, but really want to add girls. It's also (in my opinion) condescending to the girls planning to atte

[thetalady]

YES, Mom... the chapters will know who was cut previously. The reason may not matter the second time around, but they almost certainly know that she is re-rushing. Keeping notes is not the issue. We cannot possibly guess if your chapter will cut her again or not.

If I was in your position, I would remind my daughter that she still had chapters to choose from prior to pref. Think of all the girls that had NO chapters to choose from? How much would they have loved to have those same choices? Being in a sorority is a gift of sisterhood. Hopefully she can decide to appreciate & accept that gift from those who offered it to her, rather than focusing on the chapter that she thought she had to have.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by thetalady

YES, Mom... the chapters will know who was cut previously. The reason may not matter the second time around, but they almost certainly know that she is re-rushing. Keeping notes is not the issue. We cannot possibly guess if your chapter will cut her again or not.

If I was in your position, I would remind my daughter that she still had chapters to choose from prior to pref. Think of all the girls that had NO chapters to choose from? How much would they have loved to have those same choices? Being in a sorority is a gift of sisterhood. Hopefully she can decide to appreciate & accept that gift from those who offered it to her, rather than focusing on the chapter that she thought she had to have.

I LOVE this!! Sisterhood is a gift.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by UNCalum

I agree that it will be misleading and probably detrimental to the houses that may not be top tier, but really want to add girls. It's also (in my opinion) condescending to the girls planning to atte

Please, please, please STOP this "top tier" thinking. It does nothing but hurt in many ways. Every group has things to offer, every sorority has a sisterhood that they treasure. That is what matters.

[Cane94G8r97]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Please, please, please STOP this "top tier" thinking. It does nothing but hurt in many ways. Every group has things to offer, every sorority has a sisterhood that they treasure. That is what matters.

Very true words... almost every organization has a chapter at a school where they are doing extrememly well, and a chapter at a differnet school where they might be struggling. "Tiers" mean nothing once you graduate, and you are an alumna SIGNIFICANTLY longer than you are a collegian.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by Cane94G8r97

Very true words... almost every organization has a chapter at a school where they are doing extrememly well, and a chapter at a differnet school where they might be struggling. "Tiers" mean nothing once you graduate, and you are an alumna SIGNIFICANTLY longer than you are a collegian.

THIS.

Amen.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Please, please, please STOP this "top tier" thinking. It does nothing but hurt in many ways. Every group has things to offer, every sorority has a sisterhood that they treasure. That is what matters.

It will especially hurt her daughter's recruitment if she's using "top tier" when talking about chapters with her. It's bad enough that the PNMs all gossip about such silly/irrelevant things, but when parents do the same, the PNM will most likely put an even larger emphasis on them, when it really doesn't matter.