Daughter is a legacy and was cut

[thetalady]

You have a great atrtitude, UNCAlum! I was impressed that you came here without bitterness toward your own GLO. I really hope that your daughter will enjoy informal rush. Sounds like she will do better in a less hectic situation. And tell her that "running to the house" can be highly overrated!

[pinapple]

Just to stress what the others have said, your daughter will not have a clean slate for Fall Recruitment. This does not mean she will not be successful, but it is important that you weigh that against Spring Recruitment before the decision is made. Without getting into any membership selection, chapters know exactly who has walked into their doors in the past and this is especially true of legacy candidates. Earlier posters are 100% correct that legacies are released as soon as possible so that they can put their best foot forward at other houses. For most houses this occurs after round 2.

If your daughter has grown as a person and has become significantly more outgoing since arriving at UNC, then maybe Fall recruitment would be a good option for her, but being known on campus can work equally against you too. She needs to take a hard long look at the relationships that she has formed and find out if she has made deep rooted connections with girls in the houses she was always interested in.

I have to agree that when you state she has friends in houses that she "likes" but doesn't "love" that reputation and tiers have to be in play here. I think it is natural, but I find that reputations at some of the major SEC and Southern Schools are just that...reputations. Some of the best sisterhoods around are found where people think they don't want to look. When a chapter faces any type of adversity because they are labeled from the 60s-70's-80's, they form strong bonds of solidarity that are far stronger and more loving than those found in houses, that from the outside seem like the beat all, end all of Sorority Row.

EVERY single GLO has something to offer. Some stress academics, some stress being social butterflies, the list goes on. What this will all boil down to is if your daughter wants to be Greek or not. If she does, she has nothing to lose by going through Spring Recruitment, trying each chapter on for size and then making a decision. Right now it is simply speculation that she does not "love" any of the recruiting chapters. If she leaves Spring Recruitment without a home then she can try Fall.

I have said this before and I will say it again here because it is fitting. Reputations are tricky things. A good one can hide a flawed sisterhood, and bad one can hide a good one.

[ADPiEE]

I'm so glad you're daughter is going to do informal! Let me give you my perspective because I did informal 20 years ago.

I didn't do formal "Rush" because I believed the negative stereotypes about Greek life at the time. After I got to college, I made friends with girls in sororities and learned that they really weren't true...and that sorority life had a lot to offer. I signed up for informal Spring rush (most of the groups on campus participated) fulling thinking I would join a group that I had friends in. Ironically, I ended up falling in love with the one group where I didn't know ANYONE. In the informal setting, I really got to spend time with the girls and really knew where I felt "at home." I had finally found girls just like me with similar values and goals!

In some ways, I wish all girls could go through informal because it gives you a much better feel for the group--but I know it's not possible with the number of PNM's.


Thank you for keeping us posted!

[gee_ess]

When does informal begin? I feel completely vested in the process with your daughter and want to root from the sidelines!

[carnation]

@#! I did it again. I was looking for the Like button to totally agree with gee_ess.

[groovypq]

^Me too!

[irishpipes]

Agreed, but I've seen too many who
1) have a serious case of kumbaya and think their intentions of a tier-free NPC will make it so because after all, PNMs are uninformed little people who won't figure out that they're being snowed, or
2) don't have NPC experience (or do, but not at a similar school)

[UNCalum]

You all really know your stuff! The organizational mtg is Monday night. I'll fill you all in as soon as I hear from her! Thanks for the support and encouragement!

[carnation]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

Agreed, but I've seen too many who
have a serious case of kumbaya and think their intentions of a tier-free NPC will make it so because after all, PNMs are uninformed little people who won't figure out that they're being snowed

[Blue Skies]

Feeling a liking for a chapter is a really good place to start from. And if your daughter has friends in the chapter, so much the better. A chapter that she likes might not only be a great fit for her, it might end up being the best fit for her.

Tell her that like can grow into love.

[adpiucf]

Recs aren't necessary for recruitment participation. Recs are necessary for membership selection. Maybe those GA's are hoping that if they drive home "recs aren't necessary" then people will stop sending them and the process will be easier for all. Let's face it. Most recs are anonymous forms filled out by women who don't know the PNM well. They don't serve the chapters as well as they did years and years ago, when it was truly a recommendation by an alumna who was well-acquainted with the rushee. Today, it's just checking off a box or regurgitating a resume after MAYBE meeting a PNM for a few minutes and deciding, "She doesn't SEEM weird."

[KillarneyRose]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Today, it's just checking off a box or regurgitating a resume after MAYBE meeting a PNM for a few minutes and deciding, "She doesn't SEEM weird."

Heh, that's probably how I ended up getting a bid. I can pretend to be normal for short bursts

[UNCalum]

Hi everyone!! Informal Recruitment starts tonight! Please send good Greek karma our way! I'll let you know how it goes!

[ASUADPi]

I am sending good thoughts from Fayetteville to Chapel Hill to your daughter.

With that being said, she does need to keep an open mind. While it was disappointing for her legacy chapter to cut her in the fall, she had a full preference schedule, which means that she was wanted. She needs to remember that. She needs to show her confidence. She can't dwell on the past.

[FSUZeta]

Yes-good luck to your daughter!!!