sorority advice needed

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by misscherrypie

I've met with a counselor this morning (sorry for running off!) and I hope that this will signal the beginning of something new.

Glad to hear that -- we are always on the doorstep of something new if we choose to be.

All the best to you.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I am interested in the idea that you need to be part of an exclusive group to make close friends. I understand the idea of group female friendship, how having a big circle can be different and produce a dynamic that doesn't come from one-on-one friendships, but at their core, all friendships are one-on-one. Find people with common interests, and make friends. Viola!

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I am interested in the idea that you need to be part of an exclusive group to make close friends. I understand the idea of group female friendship, how having a big circle can be different and produce a dynamic that doesn't come from one-on-one friendships, but at their core, all friendships are one-on-one. Find people with common interests, and make friends. Viola!

I agree -- a circle of members drawn together on some common ground presents opportunities for friendship and shared experiences, but in the end, the friendships and bonds must be developed by individuals.

To say otherwise would negate what we tell PNMs about blooming in the chapter where they find themselves planted.

[amIblue?]

I am thankful for this thread.

[ZTAme]

If a ZTA disclosed anything about membership selection, she shouldn't have.

[AnchorAlumna]

Finally! Train wreck stirrings! Goodie goodie!

[Titchou]

Oh my - is this going to be another thread shut down because of HartofSec and OR? How many would that be for Hart?

Who's got the popcorn????

[HQWest]

Ooh I have Caramel Corn

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Titchou

Oh my - is this going to be another thread shut down because of HartofSec and OR? How many would that be for Hart?

Who's got the popcorn????

No shit. I'm starting to think she has no friends since she can't have a conversation without going for the jugular.

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

As an aside, you might notice that you get an overwhelmingly negative reaction on GC. It's because of your persistent aggressive manner. When you respond, try to take a deep breath and realize people are not attacking you and everything you hold dear before responding. Every post you make sounds like a mean attempt to put someone in their place. Definitely not a way to make friends or influence people.

I agree that I do get an overwhelmingly negative reaction from the same clique of dominant forum personalities. Some of you feel free to challenge and respond however you wish to others (sans the deep breath), veer off-topic, and pile-on, but react dramatically if challenged yourselves.

I'm really not that bothered if someone disagrees with me. It's a discussion forum.

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

No shit. I'm starting to think she has no friends since she can't have a conversation without going for the jugular.

This seems overly dramatic -- where, exactly, did I go "for the jugular" on this thread? Your characterization of "every post" I make seems a lil exaggerated too.

I just don't see a skirmish worthy of popcorn on this thread.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Hartofsec

I agree that I do get an overwhelmingly negative reaction from the same clique of dominant forum personalities. Some of you feel free to challenge and respond however you wish to others (sans the deep breath), veer off-topic, and pile-on, but react dramatically if challenged yourselves.

I'm really not that bothered if someone disagrees with me. It's a discussion forum.

I'll let you in on something. There is no clique. I'm not friends with 33girl or Old Row or Titchou, but when you start making aggressive, ridiculously unnecessary statements I stand up for other posters no matter who they are. Before you came around, I couldn't remember a time I actually agreed with some of these people.

Originally Posted by Hartofsec

This seems overly dramatic -- where, exactly, did I go "for the jugular" on this thread? Your characterization of "every post" I make seems a lil exaggerated too.

I just don't see a skirmish worthy of popcorn on this thread.

You go for the jugular when you go digging for unrelated threads to pull in my sorority affiliation into the argument. What exactly does that have to do with anything other than to inflame the situation? You dial it up to 11 on every single thread you jump into by bringing people's organizations into the discussion in an offensive manner. You may not see it, but every other member of GC does, and no other single member has been the source of more closed threads than you. That's not a record you should be proud to own, btw.

The way you could have handled this discussion on JL is to discuss YOUR experience in JL rather than discount others stories as simply negative propaganda. Just as in Greek Life, negative stories are often well deserved. You and the Junior League would have been better served by this discussion than the defensive ugliness that we just saw. THAT'S how GC is supposed to work.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I'll let you in on something. There is no clique. I'm not friends with 33girl or Old Row or Titchou, but when you start making aggressive, ridiculously unnecessary statements I stand up for other posters no matter who they are. Before you came around, I couldn't remember a time I actually agreed with some of these people.

Ain't this the truth! I'm not sure AOII Angel and I ever had a civil word for each other until Hart came along. So when I received a PM from her, I was a little slow to open it. But what a sweet message it was offering Panhellenic support in light of Hart's comments about my chapter of initiation. I have much more respect for her now and make an effort to see things from her point of view more than I did in the past. So, if anything good has come out of all this, that's at least one. Thanks, AOII Angel. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

The way you could have handled this discussion on JL is to discuss YOUR experience in JL rather than discount others stories as simply negative propaganda. Just as in Greek Life, negative stories are often well deserved. You and the Junior League would have been better served by this discussion than the defensive ugliness that we just saw. THAT'S how GC is supposed to work.

You quoted and responded to me, not the other way around, to inject that the JL was mean to your friend. You then became emotional over my analogy. And there are quite a few points that are analogous to Greek discussions here. Imagine if I had suggested that in a group so large, surely she could find some people to ‘click’ with … advice that is routinely passed out here.

A number of you practically push one another out of the way to correct inaccurate minutia on this forum – but melt down and argue ad nauseam if anyone comments on yours.

There was no disrespect intended toward your GLO in linking the thread about AOIIs in Junior League – there is nothing inflammatory on that thread regarding your GLO or JL whatsoever.

On the other hand, you pull your GLO into everything dramatic and contentious you post – it’s your username. How is your GLO "better served" by "defensive ugliness?"

[amIblue?]

No popcorn, but I have a nice bottle of wine.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

No popcorn, but I have a nice bottle of wine.

I'm coming to your house!