Big-Little Gifting

[justgo_withit]

How I feel about big/little gifting:

My big, lovely and amazing woman that she is, spoiled me and a twin in the same semester and honestly it made me feel kind of guilty. Some of the gifts I haven't really used much and will recycle if I ever take a little (some picture frames, trinkets, etc), and some I treasure (a blanket, a big/little shadow box, my first letters). I enjoyed the experience "gifts" more than some of the material gifts.

In my chapter it was a common practice to spread out your big/little purchases/crafting throughout the year. So between deciding you wanted to take a little and recruitment you'd get some things from the Greek store here and there, decide which letters you'd like to pass down and set them aside, get some letters made, do crafts that were either sorority-focused or leave space to add her name, things like that. We did have girls decide they didn't want a little after all who then had sister birthday gifts on lock for awhile (or who kept them for themselves)! Then once you found out who she was you'd make/get things specific to her.

As a culture, it's something we really don't question. We always had less new members than sisters interested in taking a little, and it was just logical to us that you wouldn't take a little if you weren't prepared for the costs associated with it. Sisters who thought money was tight would craft and recycle things they got from their big more, but that was already a pretty common practice. If a sister wanted to buy out the LP sorority line and buy her little tickets a weekend trip to Disney world, I would've thought that was a bit much but I wouldn't think she was setting a new standard or making the rest of us look bad. Overall, we didn't really have any this is too expensive/I can't give what everyone else is problems. Your little loved everything you gave her no matter what; none of us would've had the indecency to be disappointed with what our big got us, that's just crazy.

I know some chapters/orgs see big/little differently, so this is all operating under the idea that when you want to take someone as your little, you're agreeing to be their mentor/sponsor/main active support during their NM processes and that being spoiled during big/little week is a luxury, not an expectation. You're going to get her first letters, sorority swag for her room, her pin box. You're going to drop everything to be with her when something bad happens, invite her to come with you when you go out, tell her scandalous mixer stories so she gets the older girls' jokes, and shield her from the glares when you show up to chapter 10 minutes late with milkshakes becuase you lost track of time together. My big had a lot on her plate my NM semester but she still always made time for me, no matter what. And that was the point- being spoiled big/little week and getting all that attention was nice, but she could've given me a shirt and a plate of cookies and I still would've been equally excited at big/little reveal.

[GeorgiaGreek]

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

Some of the gifts I haven't really used much and will recycle if I ever take a little (some picture frames, trinkets, etc), and some I treasure (a blanket, a big/little shadow box, my first letters). I enjoyed the experience "gifts" more than some of the material gifts.

Recycling gifts is also a factor that may make one big seem like she is spending a ton of money, but a lot of things are actually from her big, and sometimes have been passed down. Even if you restrict the amount you spend, some people will just have a ton of stuff to hand down. I have seen an entire tailgating set (the little UGA popup tent, folding chairs, etc.) get passed down for years, but whoever actually paid for it is long graduated.

As for other chapters, I don't think most people notice or pay attention to that. Ain't nobody got time for that. If one chapter is known for having extreme big/little gifts, good for them, they win the money-spending/crafting contest, but I think most sorority women realize big/little is about a bond, not presents. And next year, any freshmen who may have been jealous of seeing those extravagant gifts won't feel so bad when they realize the money and time put into it (or they will have very lucky littles who they will spoil the crap out of so they can make up for what they feel like they missed)

[justgo_withit]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGreek

Ain't nobody got time for that.

THIS. If you have time to worry about other chapters while coordinating your schedule, your future little(s)'s schedule, boys making deliveries, pledges doing serenades, sisters doing things, family traditions, your tiny apartment kitchen you share with two other sisters, and that sparkling GPA, you are super woman or you need more to do with yourself.

[HQWest]

The only time it seems to be a big deal comparing one set of chapter gifts to another was on bid day. One chapter was giving out a pile of gifts and most other chapters were giving a couple of small things in a bag and a t-shirt or two.

A proposal came up in Panhellenic meetings to include these gifts in recruitment budget and put down a per new member gift price limit. It failed. What the rest of the chapters did realize then was that the money does come out of their dues and so it turns out that most of the chapters all have pretty close to the same price in about the same place anyway. (and THAT chapter has higher dues.) Another chapter was like getting their cupcakes donated and spending the extra money on a little bit nicer gifts.

We have gone to a system where if you take a little you donate a fixed amount into the pool and all of the new members get some of the same gifts. We send an email home to the parents to ask to pay for flowers for initiation. We save a lot of money by preordering and buying the items in bulk. Any leftovers from this year can be sold to older girls in the chapter or given as prizes for games or thank you gifts.

[ASTalumna06]

My chapter added to our by-laws a limit on what bigs could spend on littles. I don't remember the amount - maybe $100? - but it definitely wasn't anything outrageous. If you took a little, you knew that you'd have to put up at least a little cash. Comes with the territory.

We also received our paddles and jerseys at initiation (already covered in our new member dues) - the jerseys were a big deal. Even though we could wear letters during our new member period, getting your jersey (and finding out your nickname) was huge. We also made a lot of things in my chapter - lettered shirts, jewelry boxes, etc.

And we had a secret sister program running all year, and each new member class participated as well, so they would give each other little gifts throughout the semester.

All of this combined made even $100 seem like a lot of money to spend.

And here's a great idea that summer_gphib posted about just a couple days ago in the Bid Day Pics thread:

Originally Posted by summer_gphib

Not really a bid day pic, but the new nm class, ZD at Southeast Mo State. We started the Crescent Sister Program, a new program this year for Alums to volunteer to "adopt" a nm. We each donated a certain amount of money, and they each got one of these cute tote bags and a letter from us. Then at initiation our money will go to buy them each a "crest" t-shirt! Anyway I thought this was a cute picture!

Something like this would help defray some of the costs for the big, ensure that at least some of the gifts for the littles were the same, get the alumnae more involved, and allow the new members to interact with them in a small way.

[adpiucf]

I like the idea of chapter initiation gifts. A chapter I advised included room in the budget for all initiates to receive letter sweatshirts and some other sorority gifts, like a copy of the crest. At the time I was a collegian, my chapter provided a few things to the big sisters to finish as homemade crafts-- a pin pillow, pin box, diamond board. With the exception of the chapter gifts, my chapter also had a policy that all gifts had to be given off-property. I think this was a way to minimize, "Oh, Susie got TONS of gifts, and all I got was a lavaliere and a stuffed animal." (Which, while appreciated, most normal people can't help but feel jealous if others are being flooded with presents and they get the absolute minimum).

[kateliza]

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

under the idea that when you want to take someone as your little, you're agreeing to be their mentor/sponsor/main active support during their NM processes and that being spoiled during big/little week is a luxury, not an expectation. You're going to get her first letters, sorority swag for her room, her pin box. You're going to drop everything to be with her when something bad happens, invite her to come with you when you go out, tell her scandalous mixer stories so she gets the older girls' jokes, and shield her from the glares when you show up to chapter 10 minutes late with milkshakes becuase you lost track of time together. My big had a lot on her plate my NM semester but she still always made time for me, no matter what. And that was the point- being spoiled big/little week and getting all that attention was nice, but she could've given me a shirt and a plate of cookies and I still would've been equally excited at big/little reveal.

This is why my big is my big! My big was the person I wanted to be in chapter. And I want to be that for a sister too.