Is helicoptering making kids less able to socially adapt to new situations?

[Mevara]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

This is completely off topic, but...

My mom and I were talking the other day about how there doesn't seem to be any shows for the whole family to watch and enjoy anymore - shows with some good, wholesome comedy and life lessons here and there. I remember watching Family Matters, Full House, Boy Meets World, Step by Step, Hangin' with Mr. Cooper, The Fresh Price of Bel-Air, Home Improvement.. And I watched The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, Family Ties, Charles in Charge, Who's the Boss, Growing Pains, etc. in re-runs.

What happened to these?! And why don't they make more shows like them?

What's wrong with shows like Modern Family, Glee, American Idol (and the likes)?

[AGDee]

We did that "outside all day" thing until the Oakland County child killer started murdering kids. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oakland...y_Child_Killer for reference, if you aren't familiar. I was in 5th and 6th grade during the 13 month period that they found the four children. I lived in the next county but there were reports of a vehicle that looked like the vehicle they thought "he" drove (assuming male) in my neighborhood. From that point on, no kids were outside without being in sight of adults.

And, ultimately, I think that's what happened with kids playing outside. Fear of abduction. I know my kids only played outside when I could be outside watching them and that really cut in to their outdoor play time. By the time I got home from work, cooked dinner, cleaned up.. they didn't have much time to go outside before bed time. In the summer, at that time, we'd usually go swimming in our pool (I miss that pool!).

There are shows the whole family can watch together now. Back in my day, we watched whatever my dad wanted to watch. I remember The Waltons, All in the Family, M*A*S*H, Laugh In. My dad didn't like Carol Burnett so we didn't watch that. Some of y'all had a lot more channels than we did though! We only had 8 and that included the Canadian channel.

[aggieAXO]

I also grew up with no cable, only 3 channels to watch but I loved watching TV. I started watching soaps with my mom and even resorted to taping them once I was in high school. I still watch them.

I also find these days that people move around quite a bit (or so it seems). I grew up in a neighborhood where everyone knew everybody and all of the kids played together. Most of my neighbors had lived there for 20-30 years. It seemed no one moved. I felt safe and the parents felt comfortable with us being outside all day with no supervision.

I was very lucky that my mother was a stay at home mom until I was 12 and she was very involved in all of my schools activities. Most of my friend's mothers were also SAH moms, they all hung out together. Now it seems both parents are having to work and moving is quite common making it difficult for people to really get to know each other and their kids.

I also have noticed that the teenagers these days don't want to get their driver's license. I work with a couple of moms with 16-17 year olds who refuse to get their driver's permit. Heck, the day I turned 16 I was taking my driver's test and that very day got my car. I was never at home after that. Anyone else noticed this? When I asked the moms about it-they thought it was strange too!

[AGDee]

I also have a few friends whose kids do NOT want to get their driver's licenses. My kids were both anxious and excited to get theirs though. Then again, I have worked very hard to raise independent young adults. Wheels=freedom!

[aggieAXO]

Originally Posted by AGDee

We did that "outside all day" thing until the Oakland County child killer started murdering kids. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oakland...y_Child_Killer for reference, if you aren't familiar. I was in 5th and 6th grade during the 13 month period that they found the four children. I lived in the next county but there were reports of a vehicle that looked like the vehicle they thought "he" drove (assuming male) in my neighborhood. From that point on, no kids were outside without being in sight of adults.

And, ultimately, I think that's what happened with kids playing outside. Fear of abduction. I know my kids only played outside when I could be outside watching them and that really cut in to their outdoor play time. By the time I got home from work, cooked dinner, cleaned up.. they didn't have much time to go outside before bed time. In the summer, at that time, we'd usually go swimming in our pool (I miss that pool!).

There are shows the whole family can watch together now. Back in my day, we watched whatever my dad wanted to watch. I remember The Waltons, All in the Family, M*A*S*H, Laugh In. My dad didn't like Carol Burnett so we didn't watch that. Some of y'all had a lot more channels than we did though! We only had 8 and that included the Canadian channel.

EEK AGDee-I read the wiki and that sounds absolutely terrifying! I wouldn't play outside either.

My dad use to make me watch Lawrence Welk-anyone else have to be tortured like this? I loved the Carol Burnett show!

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

This made me smile. That is exactly how I grew up. My favorite birthday dinner was spaghetti. I have always done the special birthday dinner with my kids. AND Charlie Brown!!! My favorite especially around this time of year. I still get excited when I see the ad that it will be on. My kids don't get Charlie Brown at all. Shotgun! ha ha with the front seat and not wearing seat belts in the back. We NEVER had sodas but I drank A LOT of Hawaiian Punch. Bed Knobs and Broom Sticks was my absolute favorite but I also dug Herbie. The biggest treat for us as a kid Pizza! We NEVER went out to dinner EVER.

I have also noticed that these girls who go through recruitment are so sophisticated. My 18 year old self would have never gotten a bid today.

Aww, that sounds so cool that you're keeping the tradition of Charlie Brown, even though they don't really get it.

And I agree with you as to how sophisticated young women are these days. My older nieces (14, 17, 17) are so glamorous (not necessarily being dolled up - I'm talking about even in sweatpants), confident, and not afraid to stand up for what they believe in.

One of my nieces was always really smart and clever, from the time she could talk. At 2 years old, she was able to sense when someone was laughing about something she did (not in a mean way, just thinking she was cute/silly/goofy). She had this other-worldly self-awareness and would say, "not funny" and walk away with her nose up. It was hysterical.

I think that it's because she was the "first" of the generation, she didn't grow up with "baby talk". Everyone spoke to her like an adult.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I don't know -- Disney channel is full of current equivalents of Full House. But as a family, we prefer things like The Amazing Race or Chopped, or DVDs of things like I Love Lucy or The Andy Griffith Show.

I disagree. The Disney Channel is full of shows with sassy teens/pre-teens who mouth off to parents and teachers, do whatever they want, and NEVER get in trouble.

At least in Full House, those girls did things wrong, but they got caught and grounded EVERY time. I have other reasons for disliking Full House - namely growing up with the maiden name Jessica Ripper (Jessie & the Rippers - haha - never heard that one!).

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by aggieAXO

EEK AGDee-I read the wiki and that sounds absolutely terrifying! I wouldn't play outside either.

My dad use to make me watch Lawrence Welk-anyone else have to be tortured like this? I loved the Carol Burnett show!

It really was terrifying, especially as an 11/12 year old.

[33girl]

As was mentioned above, it's a lot scarier to think about sending your child outside to play all day when you don't know your own neighbors. My mom was fine with me riding my bike up the street as everyone knew each other. It's not that way any more.

This being said, I still think there's a way to get kids together to play and then let THEM do the game thinking-up rather than everything being little league, soccer etc - something structured. I think they need to make all the unused Borders stores into playgrounds for kids in the front and wine/Clive Owen porn for moms in the back.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Mevara

What's wrong with shows like Modern Family, Glee, American Idol (and the likes)?

Depending on the age of the child, some parents may not be comfortable with some of the more adult content or language of these shows.

(And I just have to say, I think my wife and I are two of the only people in America who have tried a number of times to watch Modern Family and find just it boring and very un-funny.)

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I disagree. The Disney Channel is full of shows with sassy teens/pre-teens who mouth off to parents and teachers, do whatever they want, and NEVER get in trouble.

True. I was thinking more in terms of the lack of inappropriate content, but this is definitely one of the (many) downsides of Disney Channel shows.

Meanwhile, for a good look at why kids don't play (and free play) outdoors as much anymore, I highly recommend Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder. (And since I think I remember a discussion about this book before on GC, I'll just go ahead and say: No the author isn't creating a new diagnosis called Nature Deficit Disorder. It's just a handy way of making a point.)

[carnation]

Originally Posted by aggieAXO

My dad use to make me watch Lawrence Welk-anyone else have to be tortured like this?!

Yes! Both my grandmothers made us watch but it made them so happy that we faked like we loved it!

I did meet the Lennon Sisters years later, though--

[ASUADPi]

Quite honestly I think it is going to just get worse. I say this because I deal with first graders 5 days a week and their parents. Some of these parents are enabling their children for future failure. For example, a parent recently had her child removed from my room because SHE forgot to change the transportation form and I wouldn't ALLOW a 6 year old to boss me around. She sent me a scathing email where in the very first sentence she admitted her mistake but the remainder (about 2 paragraphs) was ripping me a new one. When we live in a society where the parents can't take any personal responsibility, than their children won't learn to take any themselves. It will always be someone else's fault for their mistakes and failures. It is only going to get worse.