Schools where you absolutely positively need recs

[armywife]

Don't stress over getting recs. My daughter went through rush Fall 2012 at the University of Texas. We stressed out all Summer putting packets together and trying to get recs for all sororities. She had a very successful rush (as a sophomore - so don't stress about not being a Freshman either!). She was invited back to houses that she did not have recs for. I think a key element that gets overlooked during rush is having conversation skills ... make sure you brush up on those - be able to talk about all subjects and make conversation. Don't sit in silence. Some of the sorority girls that will be talking to you are sophomores and this will be their first experience being on the other side of rush, so they are nervous as well, so you will stand out if you are able to keep the conversation going and put others at ease. I am not saying not to get recs, but don't think you will get cut if you don't have them. Keep an open mind when going through rush. Don't have your heart set on one sorority from the beginning, wait and see where you make a connection. My daughter had friends that went through rush at Texas A&M, Michigan State and SMU - these girls had no recs going into rush and all had a successful rush and pledged wonderful houses. In addition, I have nieces in sororities at the University of Colorado and the University of Missouri and they have both said rec letters are not something to stress about getting.

[GeorgiaGreek]

Originally Posted by armywife

Don't stress over getting recs. My daughter went through rush Fall 2012 at the University of Texas. We stressed out all Summer putting packets together and trying to get recs for all sororities. She had a very successful rush (as a sophomore - so don't stress about not being a Freshman either!). She was invited back to houses that she did not have recs for. I think a key element that gets overlooked during rush is having conversation skills ... make sure you brush up on those - be able to talk about all subjects and make conversation. Don't sit in silence. Some of the sorority girls that will be talking to you are sophomores and this will be their first experience being on the other side of rush, so they are nervous as well, so you will stand out if you are able to keep the conversation going and put others at ease. I am not saying not to get recs, but don't think you will get cut if you don't have them. Keep an open mind when going through rush. Don't have your heart set on one sorority from the beginning, wait and see where you make a connection. My daughter had friends that went through rush at Texas A&M, Michigan State and SMU - these girls had no recs going into rush and all had a successful rush and pledged wonderful houses. In addition, I have nieces in sororities at the University of Colorado and the University of Missouri and they have both said rec letters are not something to stress about getting.

While you've said good general advice for recruitment (keep an open mind, etc.), I would have to disagree with your advice to not "stress about getting recs." It's not the end of the word if a PNM doesn't get recs for every single house, but at some schools, if the sorority doesn't know who you are before recruitment and you don't happen to be Ms. Teen Tri-State Area, valedictorian, and Nobel Prize-winning common-cold-cure-finder, you're more likely to get cut even if you have a great conversation. Recs are the biggest advantage you can get before going into recruitment, aside from having a strong connection with active chapter members.

No, they're not always easy to get, but they're not impossible. It's worth the effort. While your daughter and her friends may have had great rushes without them, they may have been exceptional PNMs, while the average PNM will appear to be...well...average to the other houses, especially the most popular ones during rush. A Rec letter may be the thing that keeps a wonderful girl who isn't an outstanding PNM from slipping through the cracks.

Summary: There is no reason to not try your best to get recs.

[armywife]

I agree with you Georgia Greek. Get as many recs as you can but don't go into rush thinking you will be cut if you don't have a rec. Before my daughter went through rush, we read all of the information and blogs and went through Greek Chat threads with a fine tooth comb and it was very overwhelming. My daughter rushed as a sophomore and in reading all of the recruitment threads we thought her chances were slim at getting a bid, so we contacted everyone we knew that had ever been in a sorority and got as many recs as we could, however, we did not get recs for every sorority. She had a full party schedule throughout rush and on pref night, one of her final 3 parties was a house that she had not received a rec for. Bottom line do what you can to obtain recs but don't think you will be cut by a house if you don't have a rec ... I have seen that on here so many times - "you won't make it to the second round if you don't have a rec" and that is simply not true.

[Always AlphaGam]

Originally Posted by armywife

I agree with you. Get as many recs as you can but don't go into rush thinking you will be cut if you don't have a rec. Before my daughter went through rush, we read all of the information and blogs and went through Greek Chat threads with a fine tooth comb and it was very overwhelming. My daughter rushed as a sophomore and in reading all of the recruitment threads we thought her chances were slim at getting a bid, so we contacted everyone we knew that had ever been in a sorority and got as many recs as we could, however, we did not get recs for every sorority. She had a full party schedule throughout rush and on pref night, one of her final 3 parties was a house that she had not received a rec for. Bottom line do what you can to obtain recs but don't think you will be cut by a house if you don't have a rec ... I have seen that on here so many times - "you won't make it to the second round if you don't have a rec" and that is simply not true.

Horrible, horrible advice.

You don't know that your daughter did not receive a rec by the end of round one. Please don't lead PNMs to believe this. You were not a part of membership selection during your daughter's recruitment, so really...you have no authority saying what you just said.

[LadyLonghorn]

Originally Posted by armywife

I agree with you Georgia Greek. Get as many recs as you can but don't go into rush thinking you will be cut if you don't have a rec. Before my daughter went through rush, we read all of the information and blogs and went through Greek Chat threads with a fine tooth comb and it was very overwhelming. My daughter rushed as a sophomore and in reading all of the recruitment threads we thought her chances were slim at getting a bid, so we contacted everyone we knew that had ever been in a sorority and got as many recs as we could, however, we did not get recs for every sorority. She had a full party schedule throughout rush and on pref night, one of her final 3 parties was a house that she had not received a rec for. Bottom line do what you can to obtain recs but don't think you will be cut by a house if you don't have a rec ... I have seen that on here so many times - "you won't make it to the second round if you don't have a rec" and that is simply not true.

You need to sit down and stop dispensing advice that will crater a PNM's recruitment. You are the mother of a new member. You did not sit in membership selection. Your daughter has not even done so. You have no idea what recs she did or did not have. Unless you are there when someone hits the submit button or drops the paperwork in a mailbox, you simply do not know. Many PNMs have recs they don't know about. Many PNMs think they have recs but the member never sends them. The fact that your daughter received a bid in no way makes you an expert in Texas recruitment or any other.

Future PNMs, please disregard this person's advice. It could cost you a chance of getting a bid.

[LadyLonghorn]

Originally Posted by armywife

Don't stress over getting recs. My daughter went through rush Fall 2012 at the University of Texas. We stressed out all Summer putting packets together and trying to get recs for all sororities. She had a very successful rush (as a sophomore - so don't stress about not being a Freshman either!). She was invited back to houses that she did not have recs for. I think a key element that gets overlooked during rush is having conversation skills ... make sure you brush up on those - be able to talk about all subjects and make conversation. Don't sit in silence. Some of the sorority girls that will be talking to you are sophomores and this will be their first experience being on the other side of rush, so they are nervous as well, so you will stand out if you are able to keep the conversation going and put others at ease. I am not saying not to get recs, but don't think you will get cut if you don't have them. Keep an open mind when going through rush. Don't have your heart set on one sorority from the beginning, wait and see where you make a connection. My daughter had friends that went through rush at Texas A&M, Michigan State and SMU - these girls had no recs going into rush and all had a successful rush and pledged wonderful houses. In addition, I have nieces in sororities at the University of Colorado and the University of Missouri and they have both said rec letters are not something to stress about getting.

This is simply horrible advice. The end.