Alumni/Alumnae who don't know their place

[tld221]

i had such a good response and i lost it!

in short: im lane-swerving, but transitioning to alumnae life is hard (regardless of council). the 2 year distance is necessary but its likely that the alumna, if she still lives in the area (or goes to graduate school at the same school) will want to participate - parties, events, rush/recruitment/intake.

You dont want to drive Jane away - its so common for hurt feelings to turn into bitter resentment towards the chapter and organization, so that she is no longer willing to be involved as an alum.

Create a transition plan for both "Jane" and the new President. Be clear in ways Jane can participate and give advice on and where she cannot. Tell her to hold her comments to the end or get them out at the beginning. See to it that the transition plan gets Jane out of the chapter's hair (business-wise, anyway) by the end of the year (or semester, if youre ambitious).

I'm giving an ideal suggestion, not saying it will work. but im echoing a lot of what has already been said.

[adpiucf]

Alumnae have no business being at a chapter meeting, unless they are making an approved announcement or serving as an advisor. Grow up and join an alumnae association. Your chapter should amend its bylaws immediately and end this nonsense. I'm guessing these alumnae who come to chapter meetings also show up to socials?

[WhiteDaisy128]

Is this an NPC chapter? If so, can a chapter really just "elect" you to be an adviser? I know in DG, you have to volunteer to be an adviser and a regional coordinator will contact you and then pass your information on to the Alumnae Team Coordination at the chapter you would work with.

I kinda agree with others that have said that alumnae should not be attending regular chapter meetings unless there is ritual or some other reason for their visit...unless you are an appointed adviser and your expertise or guidance is needed.

Originally Posted by WhiteDaisy128

Is this an NPC chapter? If so, can a chapter really just "elect" you to be an adviser? I know in DG, you have to volunteer to be an adviser and a regional coordinator will contact you and then pass your information on to the Alumnae Team Coordination at the chapter you would work with.

I kinda agree with others that have said that alumnae should not be attending regular chapter meetings unless there is ritual or some other reason for their visit...unless you are an appointed adviser and your expertise or guidance is needed.

Not talking NPC- I'm a member of two organizations, and trying to keep it vague as I know several collegians from my chapter surf this site.

[WhiteDaisy128]

Originally Posted by stargazertechie

Not talking NPC- I'm a member of two organizations, and trying to keep it vague as I know several collegians from my chapter surf this site.

Got it. Carry on then. Good luck resolving this situation.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Alumnae have no business being at a chapter meeting, unless they are making an approved announcement or serving as an advisor. Grow up and join an alumnae association. Your chapter should amend its bylaws immediately and end this nonsense. I'm guessing these alumnae who come to chapter meetings also show up to socials?

You want a 21-22 year old to grow up in a 3 month summer after commencement? It's natural to expect that a recent alum will want to still be around. If you pledged as a first-semester freshman and XYZ has been a huge part of your last 4 years, it's really ridiculous to expect that person to just put all that on the shelf, just like that.

I don't get the double speak of "grow up, go alum" and "we as NPC should do a stronger job at getting our members to be active post-collegiate."

[adpiucf]

[QUOTE=tld221;2173254]You want a 21-22 year old to grow up in a 3 month summer after commencement? QUOTE]

Yes. That is exactly what you are supposed to do. Otherwise, you're the creepy old guy at the fraternity house leering at the freshmen girls during parties. By your logic, it's totally cool for a high school graduate to keep coming around to his high school clubs after he graduates. Once you graduate, you are not a member of the chapter anymore, you are not paying dues there anymore, and you have no reason to be attending (much less speaking) at a collegiate chapter meeting.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Yes. That is exactly what you are supposed to do. Otherwise, you're the creepy old guy at the fraternity house leering at the freshmen girls during parties. By your logic, it's totally cool for a high school graduate to keep coming around to his high school clubs after he graduates. Once you graduate, you are not a member of the chapter anymore, you are not paying dues there anymore, and you have no reason to be attending (much less speaking) at a collegiate chapter meeting.

I don't understand how 21-22 makes you creepy. maybe in your example above, but if youre a recent alum, you probably have friends who are still in the chapter. are you supposed to just stop coming around?

i get the business side - alumni shouldnt be at official business or (maybe?) rituals. heck, even rush events are iffy (that's a numbers thing - your chapter of 15 girls could use one more body, but a chapter of 50, nah). but the occasional picnic or similar get together shouldn't be something this girl couldnt attend without being the "creepy old girl."

She's probably not there to be besties with the Fall 2012 pledge class, but she may hang out with her Fall 08/09 bigs/littles.

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Once you graduate, you are not a member of the chapter anymore, you are not paying dues there anymore, and you have no reason to be attending (much less speaking) at a collegiate chapter meeting.

In your particular GLO, maybe. Once I graduated, I was/am still a member of my chapter for life, and part of my alumnae dues go to my chapter. I cannot vote at a chapter meeting, but I may participate fully as long as I follow parliamentary procedure (which is what "Jane" now realizes she should have done).

While alumni participation in certain events may be "creepy" or unacceptable in your GLO or GLO experience, it is quite the norm and even expected in other GLOs. You've been on these boards awhile--surely you've picked up on the fact that there are variations in greek life.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

Yeah ADPiUCF -it's not always like what you describe. My collegiate chapter doesn't have an open door policy-but I did attend several meetings as a casual observer. Mostly because something like a lavaliering was going to occur after meeting or sometimes just to visit with my still active littles for fun (now that they are all finished it has to be a very special occasion for me to show up though).

You do have to ask first, but it's not usually a big deal for my chapter and we all stay in line and just sit and enjoy the meeting. If we have something vital to say we ask the president for permission to speak, but otherwise it's just a fun time and that's that.

As far as chapter association- it's like pulling teeth getting women to stay involved even though they love our organization. We're slowly changing that, but it's been a long two years!

Originally Posted by BabyPiNK_FL

You do have to ask first, but it's not usually a big deal for my chapter and we all stay in line and just sit and enjoy the meeting. If we have something vital to say we ask the president for permission to speak, but otherwise it's just a fun time and that's that.

Bolded for emphasis- our normal business agenda usually has a segment for Alum comments. Many of us work or volunteer for organizations who often have opportunities for philanthropy, or we might have a handout from professional conferences that we think would benefit the members (leadership development training, etc)

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Alumnae have no business being at a chapter meeting, unless they are making an approved announcement or serving as an advisor.

Not true for many sororities. Is it true for your own organization, or were you stating your opinion?

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Alumnae have no business being at a chapter meeting, unless they are making an approved announcement or serving as an advisor. Grow up and join an alumnae association. Your chapter should amend its bylaws immediately and end this nonsense. I'm guessing these alumnae who come to chapter meetings also show up to socials?

I totally agree with ADPiUCF, if we are talking NPC. I have seen time and again brand new alumnae who do not understand their new role as alumnae. Those same women, who would have been highly insulted if new alumnae had interfered with their chapter meetings, are not able to distance themselves from the chapter and jump right in where they should not interfere. ZTA prefers that advisors be at least 4 years removed from their collegiate experience.

We older alums. try to channel the new alums. enthusiasm toward other things that will assist the chapter, while letting the collegiates run their own show.

[MaggieXi]

I'm still stuck on why alumni want to attend the chapter meetings. I am all for them wanting to continue to be involved with the sorority, but it shouldn't be at the meetings where business is being discussed that does not effect them and they should not have input in. If they are attending for "fellowship", may I suggest that they start their own alumni group - if they have not joined one already and hang out with each other and offer their support to the chapter during philanthropy, homecoming, recruitment and other activities.

I sent a text to Jane earlier just mentioning a few of my concerns casually and she sent me back a rather long response because she realized after meeting that she had acted out of line. She apologized to the president, and told me that if she starts doing it again to just kick her under the table