Having trouble processing the disappointment of the sorority I joined. Any advice?

[FSUZeta]

This story does not make sense. As others have said, we are not aware of any collegiate president of any NPC sorority that has the power to terminate someone's membership by herself.

As suggested, get on the internet, go to your national website, find the phone number for the national office and call them tomorrow.

I will sort out the situation as soon as possible. Thanks for everyone's input.

As mentioned in my last post, I did sign a letter I had to write about my family issues...I never received anything from headquarters though about my termination.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

This story does not make sense. As others have said, we are not aware of any collegiate president of any NPC sorority that has the power to terminate someone's membership by herself.

I doubt very much this was the case. The chapter president was most likely chosen as the spokesperson after the issue had been discussed and decided on by the whole colony/chapter.

Was the chapter chartered during the time you were a member, or was it still a colony? If it's the latter, the colony advisor (who sounds like she sucks) should have been the one to contact you.

That being said, it sounds like this was a bad fit from the beginning. Colonies are a LOT of work and EVERY SINGLE MEMBER has to be on board 110% and super involved. I'm not sure if you didn't realize before you joined, but if you knew that you had night classes that would have kept you away from a lot of events (official or non) that wasn't going to sit well with a lot of people. Then add asking for more excused absences after that because of your family situation, and you sadly aren't going to get a lot of sympathy.

As far as being a commuter, TriDeltaSallie is right - it takes extra effort ON TOP OF that extra effort it takes to be in a colony. If everyone else on a scale of 1-10 was putting forth 9, you had to put forth 20.

Again, it sounds like you had a crappy colony advisor (they are supposed to be on the lookout for things like preformed cliques, not just sit there) but it is what it is.

Call the national headquarters of the sorority, tell them what you told us, and see if you really and truly are an initiated member.

[adpiucf]

If they have terminated you and you didn't want that, ask about reinstatement and if there are any reactivation fees, etc.

Originally Posted by 33girl

I doubt very much this was the case. The chapter president was most likely chosen as the spokesperson after the issue had been discussed and decided on by the whole colony/chapter.

Was the chapter chartered during the time you were a member, or was it still a colony? If it's the latter, the colony advisor (who sounds like she sucks) should have been the one to contact you.

That being said, it sounds like this was a bad fit from the beginning. Colonies are a LOT of work and EVERY SINGLE MEMBER has to be on board 110% and super involved. I'm not sure if you didn't realize before you joined, but if you knew that you had night classes that would have kept you away from a lot of events (official or non) that wasn't going to sit well with a lot of people. Then add asking for more excused absences after that because of your family situation, and you sadly aren't going to get a lot of sympathy.

As far as being a commuter, TriDeltaSallie is right - it takes extra effort ON TOP OF that extra effort it takes to be in a colony. If everyone else on a scale of 1-10 was putting forth 9, you had to put forth 20.

Again, it sounds like you had a crappy colony advisor (they are supposed to be on the lookout for things like preformed cliques, not just sit there) but it is what it is.

Call the national headquarters of the sorority, tell them what you told us, and see if you really and truly are an initiated member.

I put forth A LOT of effort. For every meeting/event that I was not in class I was there 110%. Going into the sorority and colonization process I knew that it would be a lot of work and am familiar with putting in lots of effort. Between taking upper-level courses, working to pay for everything, and dealing with family trouble I did the best that I could under the circumstances.

My family needed me during a really rough time and I wasn't going to tell my grandfather that was hospitalized that he'd have to wait for me to be there for him while I was at a meeting. It's hard enough balancing work/school/sorority things when you have a family trauma when no one else could be there. I only asked for a few events that I could be excused while the situation got better. I'm not looking for any sympathy, just an understanding.

I will be contacting the national headquarters this week to sort it all out.