A Bedlam Recruitment

[Lovethesand]

Day 2 started with a 7:15 am meeting with her Gamma Chi and group. Then off to the houses.

After a long day, Debbie texted me at 11:00 pm to say she was done for the day. After a shower, she called me and we ran through the houses. She was too tired to get her notebook so she tried to remember off the top of her head. She said all the girls were friendly and engaging.

Zuma – I didn’t get a lot of details about this house. That's what happens when you talk to them late in the date and they're tired.

Big Beach – Her best friend’s family wrote her a rec for this house, she loved their philanthropy and wanted to like them. She said the conversation was awkward and she left thinking “no, not this one”.

Cancun – Similar to Zuma, not a lot of details.

South Beach – This is a new chapter that was using one of the fraternity’s houses during recruitment. She liked the girls and said how nice they were. I wasn't sure if she'd consider the lack of house or newness a negative and she didn't.

Sunset – The girls were very friendly and she enjoyed them a lot.

Manhattan – The girls were great conversationalists. She also heard tent talk about this house – they were super smart, very religious, non-partiers. She liked the girls but hearing tent talk about them made her wonder if she’d fit in and not because she's a partier. I'm sure she heard tent talk about the other houses but this is the first house she mentioned tent talk.

Hampton – Debbie initially didn’t remember them and when I asked she said, “Oh, I liked them”. So they didn’t stand out in a negative way to her.

Malibu – A close family friend is an alumna but again not a lot of details.

One nice thing about not being a legacy, being OOS, Debbie has no preconceived notions about any houses. Debbie said she didn’t have any favorites. No houses really separated themselves in her mind. She was still a blank slate. Debbie clustered her top 9 for the next round:

Siesta Beach
Coronado
Zuma
Newport
Cancun
South Beach
Sunset
Manhattan
Hampton
Malibu

Bottom 3:

Myrtle – for the reason mentioned above on Day 1
Big Beach – Debbie said the conversation was just so awkward
Manhattan – she didn’t want to be the dumbest girl in the smartest group

Each PNM can receive a maximum of 9 visits for Round 2. Debbie wasn’t expecting 9 and was hoping for 5 or 6.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by Lovethesand

Manhattan – she didn’t want to be the dumbest girl in the smartest group

LOL! I think that's the first time I've read that reason on GC.

And my only is a daughter so I can imagine how you felt when you dropped her off...

[Ladybugmom]

I LOVE your writing style..reads like a great book!
I have an only too..so I feel your pain..I still cry when I drop her off and she is a junior this year...
We have lots of friends at your Daughter's school...looking forward to the rest of your story!

[Lovethesand]

The Gamma Chis take the phones early in the day. As a courtesy to moms freaking out across the country (or locally), could the PNMs at least text us real quick, then have the Gamma Chis take the phones? What about the moms?!?!?

So I'm across the country, trying to get some work done (failing miserably), chugging caffiene like a madwoman, and making myself a little crazy. I think to myself, "If I'm this stressed, how's Debbie doing?"

Finally hours later I receive an email from Debbie during a break in her schedule. She has 4 houses. I’m thinking to myself “ouch”. Even my husband who knows nothing about this process says “that’s not very good, is it?” “No, sh##, Sherlock” I mutter to myself. This isn’t a time for him to be obvious or try to be helpful. This is all about Debbie (and me a little). He wasn't there doing the resume writing, the rec obtaining, the shopping, the hair and nail appointments. How dare he try to be concerned or act like he understands?! As you can tell I am slowly (or maybe quickly) headed to the dark side. Normally I'm a professional woman, well prepared, good head on my shoulders. Bedlam is becoming my new best friend.

Back to Debbie. This all about Debbie, right? Debbie says it’s not great and is upset and discouraged. Via email, I try to keep positive (now is not the time for negativity), encourage her to focus on the houses she has who want her, and tell her she can be relaxed and focused on the remaining houses over the next two days. Not sure if she’s listening to me but I try. I think the sound she hears is similar to what the kids on "Peanuts" hear when the teach talks.

Debbie and I had talked before she even got to lovely Oklahoma that her GPA (primarily), lack of legacy, and not knowing anybody may do her in and she could face some big cuts. I think she was expecting cuts but not quite this many. And of course Debbie feels her schedule is the absolute worst and I think there’s a little ego and confidence bruising going. All I can do is tell her to keep her chin up, put on her happy face, and keep going. If it was me, I’d probably want to go lick my wounds and have some ice cream, chocolate, and a drink - all at the same time.

[Lovethesand]

So Debbie's 4 houses (out of a possible 9) are:

Big Beach – They were her bottom 3 but she was relieved to have them. She said beggars can’t be choosers. Great attitude, Debbie.
Coronado – She couldn’t even remember them from Round 1 but was happy to have them.
South Beach – Debbie liked them and was looking forward to getting to know them better.
Sunset – Same as South Beach.

Day 3’s lone house was Big Beach. She wanted to like these girls because their philanthropy is special to her but she just couldn’t click with the girls. One of the actives from Round 1 came by and said hello to her and I told her later that was a positive (and I know nothing about recruitment). She said it felt so awkward but she’d wait until she visited the other 3. She did say she liked the physical house itself and would love to live there. I don’t mention that you have to be a part of the house to actually live there. Don’t think my parental wisdom will be appreciated at this point. Debbie does mention that she talked to her Gamma Chi after her visit and talked about her "weak schedule" according to Debbie. Debbie feels much better after talking to her. And even her Gamma Chi said it was good that the active came by and said hi. Debbie says, “If I manage to get a sorority, I want to be a Gamma Chi”. So there’s a little woe is me attitude mixed with some positivity. Fun times.

Later that night we talk via Skype (the first time for me and the webcam - do I really look like that?). As soon as she sees me she says, “Mom” in that voice and starts crying. Trust me I can start crying too but this time I’m not a marshmallow and keep it together. We talk about the day, talk about the cuts (and it's not release to her, it is cuts), and by the time we hang up she’s feeling better. Thank goodness. Nothing like your baby being upset to ruin a good night's sleep.

Parental tent talk says cuts were tough. Some houses used a 3.5 GPA as a cutoff and some houses released 400+ girls the first round. So that would be Debbie. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. I don't even know how accurate this is, I don't tell Debbie, I just have a drink for every .1 she was off on the GPA.

As a sidenote, I'm not slipping into the dark side at this point. I am well and truly living in the dark side right now. I'm the epitome of every bad dancer mom, soccer mom, skater mom, hovering mom you've ever laughed at. I'm not proud. I realize but I can't help myself. I reach out to multiple women who I consider Greek experts and they are lifesavers. They listen to my rants (no raves at this time) and they give me great advice to share with my daughter. These women are fantastic - THANK YOU!

Time for mom and Debbie to regroup.