University of Kentucky Fall 2012 Recruitment

[UKCATFAN]

My daughter is going through the recruitment process at UK and went in with such high hopes and excitement, only to be invited back to 4 houses after the first cut. Two of those houses were among her top picks, but both of those were cut as of this morning. That leaves her with two. She is crushed. I, myself, did not go through rush and had no idea it was so cut-throat. It reminds me of middle school. I just don't understand it... my DD is a beautiful girl, but she is on the shy side, so has never been extremely social or in the "popular" crowd. One of her main reasons for doing rush was to make friends and develop socially. We are encouraging her to go to the two houses she has left and take a better look. Maybe she got in those last two houses because she wasn't as nervous and didn't try as hard as she might have at her top picks. It is a heartbreaking process for all involved. I'm very happy for the ones that do make it, but to have such a big let down right before classes begin is not a good thing at all.

[nervousmom]

UKCATFAN
MY heart was breaking as I read your post. MY daughter has had a great experience so far but it could just as easily have been her that had the rough experience. It could still go bad at any time.
I pray that your daughter will still find the house that was meant for her. As they say it only takes one house.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by UKCATFAN

My daughter is going through the recruitment process at UK and went in with such high hopes and excitement, only to be invited back to 4 houses after the first cut. Two of those houses were among her top picks, but both of those were cut as of this morning. That leaves her with two. She is crushed. I, myself, did not go through rush and had no idea it was so cut-throat. It reminds me of middle school. I just don't understand it... my DD is a beautiful girl, but she is on the shy side, so has never been extremely social or in the "popular" crowd. One of her main reasons for doing rush was to make friends and develop socially. We are encouraging her to go to the two houses she has left and take a better look. Maybe she got in those last two houses because she wasn't as nervous and didn't try as hard as she might have at her top picks. It is a heartbreaking process for all involved. I'm very happy for the ones that do make it, but to have such a big let down right before classes begin is not a good thing at all.

You gave her great advice. I'll add, that she needs to really look at those two houses as if they're the only houses on the UK campus. If she goes all the way through the pref parties and decides that neither of the remaining are truly for her...then is the time to withdraw. However, those groups remaining are lovely women who saw something special in your daughter. Keep encouraging her!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by UKCATFAN

My daughter is going through the recruitment process at UK and went in with such high hopes and excitement, only to be invited back to 4 houses after the first cut. Two of those houses were among her top picks, but both of those were cut as of this morning. That leaves her with two. She is crushed. I, myself, did not go through rush and had no idea it was so cut-throat. It reminds me of middle school. I just don't understand it... my DD is a beautiful girl, but she is on the shy side, so has never been extremely social or in the "popular" crowd. One of her main reasons for doing rush was to make friends and develop socially. We are encouraging her to go to the two houses she has left and take a better look. Maybe she got in those last two houses because she wasn't as nervous and didn't try as hard as she might have at her top picks. It is a heartbreaking process for all involved. I'm very happy for the ones that do make it, but to have such a big let down right before classes begin is not a good thing at all.

Two things:

1) It only takes one.

2) If your daughter is shy, she may best fit in a chapter with other women on the shy side. It is tough right this minute, because those chapters just can't compete with the really outgoing chapters for the PNM's affection during rush, but it means that she will ultimately end up in a more comfortable place.

As she has pointed out, maybe she wasn't trying so hard in the two she has left. Wouldn't it be nice to end up in a chapter where she doesn't have to try so hard or be anything but herself?

[als463]

Originally Posted by UKCATFAN

My daughter is going through the recruitment process at UK and went in with such high hopes and excitement, only to be invited back to 4 houses after the first cut. Two of those houses were among her top picks, but both of those were cut as of this morning. That leaves her with two. She is crushed. I, myself, did not go through rush and had no idea it was so cut-throat. It reminds me of middle school. I just don't understand it... my DD is a beautiful girl, but she is on the shy side, so has never been extremely social or in the "popular" crowd. One of her main reasons for doing rush was to make friends and develop socially. We are encouraging her to go to the two houses she has left and take a better look. Maybe she got in those last two houses because she wasn't as nervous and didn't try as hard as she might have at her top picks. It is a heartbreaking process for all involved. I'm very happy for the ones that do make it, but to have such a big let down right before classes begin is not a good thing at all.

You're right. This ^ coupled with the statement you make on another page about her visiting the two houses and not being happy with either as you proceed to ask about spring recruitment--no, of course not--this could not be viewed as saying the girls weren't "good enough" for her. Don't tell me that I should go back and read what you wrote and essentially make it seem as though I am being overbearing. You said that you were never Greek. Well, as a Greek who is a member of the same sorority your daughter received a bid from, I find your need to make it appear as though she eventually had to make due with the "scraps" during recruitment to be offensive.

I wanted to edit to say CONGRATS to everyone for doing such a great job at Recruitment!

Though I think some members may think I am being obnoxious about this and I appreciate what AGDee had to say because she is kind enough to give you the benefit of the doubt, I don't see how me requesting that you go back and "edit" what you said to be that unreasonable. If you want to be a helicopter parent, feel free. If you want to essentially trash talk (even if you don't mean to directly) particular chapters at the University of Kentucky--which has nothing but GREAT chapters of NPC and NPHC sororities, then maybe you should rethink how your daughter would feel about that. I would be horrified if my mother came on a website that shows up in Google searches about my school and sorority only to find that she felt the need to put my business out there.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by als463

If you want to essentially trash talk (even if you don't mean to directly) particular chapters at the University of Kentucky--which has nothing but GREAT chapters of NPC and NPHC sororities, then maybe you should rethink how your daughter would feel about that. I would be horrified if my mother came on a website that shows up in Google searches about my school and sorority only to find that she felt the need to put my business out there.

As a UK Alumnus, I do not get the impression that UKCATFAN was "trash talking" the chapter her daughter was happy to join. Nor any other UK chapter.

And note, I can be just as hyper sensitive regarding my dear ole alma mater too. Right up their with the best of them.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by TSteven

As a UK Alumnus, I do not get the impression that UKCATFAN was "trash talking" the chapter her daughter was happy to join. Nor any other UK chapter.

And note, I can be just as hyper sensitive regarding my dear ole alma mater too. Right up their with the best of them.

She wasn't trash talking any sorority; she was describing her daughter's disappointment at being cut down to two. That's pretty harsh. Rush is tough, and an alumna of any group should know that and not get butt hurt at an imagined slight toward her sorority (or university, for that matter).

I believe to this day that I was successful in rush with Kappa because I didn't start out rush with it at the top of my list. I was able to relax and just be myself. As a result, Kappa became my home and where my heart is. I think this is what UKCATFAN was trying to say about her daughter.