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Justamom,
Many relationships are massochistic in nature. And I'll step out on a limb here and say the very vast majority of people will never find happiness in a relationship.
Why? Because most become worn out by the dating scene (because they don't get the essential secret) and end up settling for someone.
I have seen many a desirable woman that has settled down with a man that doesn't inspire a lot of passion or intense good feelings, but has the dubious benefit of "he doesn't hurt me much".
It puts me in mind of that old adage (for women) "dull dogs make good husbands."
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