Time Cover

[PhoenixAzul]

Sweet mother of mercy, people. Just raise your kids! Quit thinking, talking, lecturing, over-analyzing every.little.thing. and just raise your kids. Be there for them when they need you, feed them, clothe them, and intervene when necessary. They will be alright, I promise you. You were alright without all of this noise, weren't you?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

Just raise your kids! Quit thinking, talking, lecturing, every.little.thing. and just raise your kids. Be there for them when they need you, feed them, clothe them, and intervene when necessary. They will be alright, I promise you.

This requires thinking about most things.

Parenting is not a mindless and simple task. It is not even always immediately rewarding. Being a parent (that applies to motherhood as well as fatherhood) can be a very lonely and depressing process in which people assume that you just know what you're doing. Those who wish to go about parenting on pure "instinct" (the notion of a "parenting instinct" is often exaggerated) and effortlessly thoughtless actions are pretending as though parenting is as easy and as rewarding as taking an unconstipated defecation.

Afterall, an historical look at parenting around the world will find things that are considered inappropriate and unhealthy based on more updated norms and laws.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by 33girl

IMO, any mom who believes they are doing the best thing for their child with "attachment parenting" would not exploit their child or themselves in such a gauche way.

This!

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

The prevailing wisdom is that if you don't breastfeed Bobby til age 3 or co-sleep until like kindergarten, he will grow up to hotwire cars and be a delinquent.

Made me spit out coffee...thanks.

I breastfed for a few months with each child & it worked great. I started to feel guilty when I quit (I was working and it was just becoming too complicated) and then I realized that I was a formula-fed child and I turned out okey-dokey.

What I feel horrible about are the folks who try to BF and can't (either because it's just not working, or they have a medical condition preventing them) and are made to feel inferior as mothers because they're not BF their kid! New motherhood is stressful and hormonal enough without the peanut gallery telling you that you and your kid are going straight to hell for not BF.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I've known at least one adult who had an unhealthy attachment to milk. I would love to know if he was breast fed and for how long.

LOL!!! I was breast fed for a year and a half (to note: I didn't get teeth till I was 15 months old) and I am VERY VERY VERY picky about milk - it has to be very cold, it has to be served in either a glass or a mug, I don't like certain brands etc etc. Maybe you've uncovered the root of it!

I thought we had all learned from the Law & Order episode where the baby died because the lactation counselor had scared the mother out of giving it a bottle.

And occasionally when I couldn't sleep Mom33 came and slept with me - co-sleeping was not an option since Dad33 didn't wear jammies. Farm folk.

[MysticCat]

What DrPhil said.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by Greek_or_Geek?

I find it hard to believe that a mother who "cares" so much about her child to continue to breast feed them so long thinks nothing of exploiting them by putting them on the cover of a magazine like this. The kid's going to grow up. Google is forever. He's not going to think this is cute in a few years.

THIS.

I have what is possibly a dumb question that is in no way intended it be offensive. I'm legitimately curious since I am not a parent and really have no idea.

Several people have mentioned baby sleeping in the bed with parents. I have heard that this should be discouraged due to the fact that parent can easily roll over and crush/suffocate the child. Is this common practice? It seems to have been mentioned a few times, so I was curious.

Oh, and I'm talking about baby sleeping with in the bed parents...not like 3-5 year olds or baby sleeping in a separate crib in the parents' room. I know I crawled into my parents bed on several occasions after a nightmare when I was that age--so if either of those two scenarios is what people were referring to, please disregard!

[amIblue?]

I believe most (not all) parents do the best they can with the cards they are dealt. Being a mother is both the most difficult and the most rewarding thing I've ever done.

Before I had my daughter, I was going to be the queen of all breast feeders and no way no how was cosleeping ever going to happen in our house. Guess what? Breastfeeding DID NOT WORK for me and my daughter. She's doing great now at four. As far as sleeping goes, the first two years of my daughter's life were hell, and I got so sleep deprived that I made myself sick to the point of losing my job. She was also sick all the time. I gave in to cosleeping, and I don't regret a minute of it. We are working on everyone sleeping in his/her own bed now. We'll get there.

For me, the greatest asset to being a good parent is the ability to be flexible.

Now this heifer on Time, that's just about attention.

[DrPhil]

I can understand feeling a sense of closeness with the child if you breastfeed and feeling as though you are failing if you cannot breastfeed or stop breastfeeding.

However, I admit that my eyebrow sometimes raises and my stomach sometimes bubbles when a woman says she enjoyed breastfeeding. I typically hear women say that when they defend breastfeeding at an older age. Using "enjoy" makes me wonder whether there was a "nipple feeling" going on for some of these women. Seeing this photo with the boy posing for the camera with a nipple in his mouth makes me nauseous. If he can hop on a chair and give the camera a side eye, he does not need to be sucking a nipple. It makes me think of when grown adults talk about sexual nipple stimulation. I do not blame TIME for getting the sales that they knew they would receive.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I can understand feeling a sense of closeness with the child if you breastfeed and feeling as though you are failing if you cannot breastfeed or stop breastfeeding.

However, I admit that my eyebrow sometimes raises and my stomach sometimes bubbles when a woman says she enjoyed breastfeeding. I typically hear women say that when they defend breastfeeding at an older age. Using "enjoy" makes me wonder whether there was a "nipple feeling" going on for some of these women. Seeing this photo with the boy posing for the camera with a nipple in his mouth makes me nauseous. If he can hop on a chair and give the camera a side eye, he does not need to be sucking a nipple. It makes me think of when grown adults talk about sexual nipple stimulation. I do not blame TIME for getting the sales that they knew they would receive.

The bold.

Also I'd like to note that I had to take formula at ten days old because we were in a very serious car accident. Momma WC couldn't hold me to breast feed me for months, so I had some milk from whatever they could pump, but I split formula and milk. I think I've turned out pretty well. I don't have a criminal record or anything.

Also even though my mother was stuck in bed, I rarely slept in the same bed as them. There was a crib next to the bed. I'm looking for more recent stats, but from 1993-1997 there were over 500 infant and toddler accidental deaths from co-sleeping.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

However, I admit that my eyebrow sometimes raises and my stomach sometimes bubbles when a woman says she enjoyed breastfeeding. I typically hear women say that when they defend breastfeeding at an older age. Using "enjoy" makes me wonder whether there was a "nipple feeling" going on for some of these women. Seeing this photo with the boy posing for the camera with a nipple in his mouth makes me nauseous. If he can hop on a chair and give the camera a side eye, he does not need to be sucking a nipple. It makes me think of when grown adults talk about sexual nipple stimulation. I do not blame TIME for getting the sales that they knew they would receive.

I guess it depends on why she enjoys it. For example, being able to provide nourishment to your child could be enjoyable. Having quiet snuggle/bonding time with a child could be enjoyable.

[I2K Beta Mu]

Originally Posted by amanda6035

Heli-moms, is this you?

WTF? CTFU! This is some funny ass shit. I haven't seen it until now.

[ZTAngel]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

Well, at least she's keeping her figure trim by maintaining her high metabolism due to continued breastfeeding.

Seriously. The thinnest I've ever been was while I was nursing. I also had a nice bust line to go with it. It was awesome!

I nursed my son until he was 9 months. I was working full-time also which was NOT easy to do. I would have liked to continue until he was a year, but my son got the whole family sick with the Ebola virus or something (horrible HORRIBLE stomach flu) and my milk supply tanked since I basically didn't eat for about 3 days. I was sad because I really did enjoy nursing. The benefits of breast milk are undeniable. And it's a hell of a lot cheaper than formula!!! By the age of one, toddlers are capable of absorbing nutrients from regular table foods. That's when they move onto to whole milk rather than formula since their bodies no longer need the nutrients in formula. For me personally, I've never understood nursing past the age of one. It's not really a nutritional supplement at that point since food provides it. Sure, breast milk provides antibodies but kids at age one are typically past that scary age when a little virus (like RSV) could send them to the hospital for two weeks. A lot of the AP moms say that nursing brings comfort and consolation to their children. That's what hugging and cuddling are for, IMHO. When you continue nursing well into the toddler years, I think it becomes more for the benefit of the mother rather than the child. To each their own, I guess....

That poor kid is on the cover of a national magazine breastfeeding. His classmates will never let him live it down when he gets to middle school.

[OneHeartOneWay]

I'm not an AP mom, but for the sake of adding to the conversation, The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until age 2. The American Pediatrics Association and/or other similar organizations here have lowered that to make 6 months/ 1 year the "acceptable norm" in American society. From the (limited) research I have done, in most other developed countries, the "acceptable norm" is much closer to 2 than 1. As far as why most/many moms say breastfeeding is enjoyable, it's not because of nipple stimulation or anything like that; the woman's body releases pleasure hormones (endorphines, I believe) while breastfeeding- it's nature's way of trying to help moms be okay with having a baby attached to the nipple every 2-3 hours!

Now, all that said, I breastfeed exclusively for 6 months, and then quit completely at 9 months when pumping became too much for me as a full time working mom. My plan (funny how most parenthood related plans fall by the wayside when the time comes!) was to breastfeed until 1, and continue to pump and give in a sippy cup as long as my supply lasted. I, while recognizing everything I stated above and the proven nutritional benefits, was also "grossed out" by the thought of my baby walking up to me and asking for milk. I'm pregnant again; I guess my plan will be the same as last time, and who knows how long I'll go this time.

I agree that the greater discussion here is that every parent should do what's best for them and their child(ren). I also agree that I take much great offense to the headline than the actual picture- we are ALL "mom enough." and most of all, I agree that I just feel sorry for that kid when he's older and that picture is discovered by his classmates!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by OneHeartOneWay

I'm not an AP mom, but for the sake of adding to the conversation, The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until age 2.

Since it is the WORLD Health Organization, wouldn't they take into account when making this recommendation that safe and healthy formula is really really hard to find and completely out of the price range of mothers in many parts of the world? I mean obviously if you're in the middle of an insect-ridden swamp with no running water it's probably best to breast feed as long as you can. That isn't the case here.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by OneHeartOneWay

I agree that the greater discussion here is that every parent should do what's best for them and their child(ren).

But it cannot only be about that.

Societies have what are considered normative behaviors and laws. If a mother (in societies in which breastfeeding is such a hot nipple topic) said that she breastfeeds her 12 year old child, would people say "well, that must be what works for them, as long as the child is happy and seems healthy"? I think people would challenge this notion that the child is both happy and healthy despite what the mother claims.