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They're different firsts. All three have a claim to be the "oldest."
Alpha Delta Pi/The Adelphean Society: First secret society for women (1851). They were founded first and they are the oldest, but they didn't have a greek letter name until they went national in 1905.
Pi Beta Phi/I.C. Sororis: First national women's fraternity (1867). They didn't have a greek letter name when they were founded, but they were the first to expand to other campuses. The second chapter was founded in 1868 at Iowa Wesleyan.
Kappa Alpha Theta: First greek letter organization for women (1870). They were the first to be founded with a greek letter name.
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