Rushing a third time

[DubaiSis]

I remember there was a girl on my dorm floor (all girls dorm with a BIG percentage going through rush) who was very strange. She couldn't be nicer, but she was one of those girls who felt like she needed to do weird things to get attention. At that time there were 5 (out of 15) chapters that were struggling for numbers so for her to get cut out of rush meant she REALLY made a bad impression. My brother used to use a phrase on his son as a boy - turn up the cool. She would have benefited greatly from that advice.

I'm noticing the OP deleted her post. But building on this, how can that girl (I of course don't know if the OP is that girl) learn the social skills to do better, not just in rush but in real life? We all have known people like this and they so badly want to fit in. What can they do?

[LAblondeGPhi]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I'm noticing the OP deleted her post. But building on this, how can that girl (I of course don't know if the OP is that girl) learn the social skills to do better, not just in rush but in real life? We all have known people like this and they so badly want to fit in. What can they do?

Ironically, going through recruitment on the sorority side can really help with many of those conversation and social cues. I've said it before that I think recruitment training is the first formal conversation training that a lot of young women get.

In absence of that, active practice and awareness of yourself works wonders, but it's a slow process (then again, aren't all forms of self improvement slow processes?) The book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a classic, and a great place to start.

[KDCat]

A. There's a Kindle book that is helpful:

"Better than Beauty: a Guide to Charm"

The make-up and hair tips are dated, but the general tips on self-presentation, making friends, and talking to people are really great. The active listening suggestions are wonderful.

B. There are dozens of other books on conversational skills available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_no...rsation+skills

C.In general, I think PNMs need to think of recruitment as a series of job interviews. In law school, they taught us a strategy for interviews and meetings and hearings that was basically: anticipate, prepare, adjust.

1. Anticipate -- you need to know what the purpose of the meeting/hearing/interview is. Why are you there? Why is the other person there? What do they hope to learn in that meeting? What do you hope to learn in that meeting?

2. Prepare what you are going to say. Go through everything you can think of that is going to be said in the meeting/hearing/interview. What are you going to say? What are your goals for the meeting? What things do you want to make sure the other person learns from you in this meeting?

3. Adjust. Listen to what the other person is saying. Ask questions. Tailor your responses to what the other person seems to be interested in talking about.