Do you like his friends?/Do you like her friends?

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Generally if I don't like a guy's friends, then I'm going to be leery about him. Knowing what types of friends he has tells me some things about who I'm dating. I just think that it's important to see what kind of connection he has with his friends before I make a commitment to him. Where do they hang out? What kinds of things do they enjoy doing together? etc. As the old saying goes "Birds of a feather flock together", and I truly believe that. To me, a man's friends can tell me a lot about what I haven't seen in him. It's just that I believe they reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he's on good behavior. The bottom line for me, and what I believe in a lot of cases, is that a man is like his friends –that's why they are his friends.

We don't have a problem with each others friends at all. I like his friends and he likes mine. His friends like me, and my friends like him. I mean, his closest friends are married, and mine are too, so we generally go out as couples most of the time, when we are around them. Sometimes, I'll go out to eat, or go to the mall with my friends if we aren't doing things together as couples. It just depends on the day or what we have planned.

I agree. You tend to be friends with people who have a lot in common with you, not just activities you enjoy, but lifestyles, values, etc. so it would seem odd to not like each other's friends or be disliked by their friends.

[I2K Beta Mu]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Your panties in knots or is it something else that makes you have reading comprehension issues? She didn't say shit about what YOU said being irrelevant. Go and read AGAIN and try to comprehend better. She said if you're NOT just "chillin" at a strip club ONLY, then what SHE is saying is irrelevant. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

CTFU! Hey y'all, I was fucked up when I typed that shit, and I was drunk as hell the night before. I just looked at some of what I typed in the dating thread, and started cracking up. I remember writing the shit, but damn LOL. My bad, y'all.

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Yes, I'm aware of what it means to "chill". If you are hanging out at strip clubs simply for the enjoyment of each others' company, then you can "chill" anywhere. If you're there for the scenery, then don't try to convince her (or others) that you're there just to hang out and relax. You can hang out and relax in lots of places that don't involve scantily clad women.

I was drunk as hell when I typed that shit you. I owe you an apology. My bad. That Hennessy ain't no joke LOL. But I wasn't talking about strip clubs. We hang out at night clubs. Sometimes we go to strip clubs, but that's usually on special occasions.

On the flip side of that. What about family? Do y'all get along with your significant other's family? Do they like him/her? I don't know my girl's family all that well. I met her mom and her sister. I haven't met her pop's yet. They seem to be pretty cool, and she hasn't told me they have issues with me, just her friends trip like that. My mom is easy going as hell with the females I've brought to the crib. I don't think I've ever brought a female home she started trippin about.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

I was drunk as hell when I typed that shit you. I owe you an apology. My bad.

Accepted.
We gettin' along now?

[AlphaFrog]

Not liking his friends (and family) would be a huge deal-breaker. Birds of a feather, apple from tree - all that. Luckily, I LOVE my in-laws and they love me. My huband's the one with the bat-shit crazy mother-in-law. I'm just glad I grew up spending most of my time with my dad's side of the family while my mom & dad ran the family business.


Sidenote: I remember one time getting off the phone with my mother and yelling that she was crazy. My husband was appalled, you don't do that in his culture, and chastised me for talking bad about her. However, after his first time meeting her, he looks at me and says, "Wow, your mom is crazy.". Told ya so.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

On the flip side of that. What about family? Do y'all get along with your significant other's family? Do they like him/her? I don't know my girl's family all that well. I met her mom and her sister. I haven't met her pop's yet. They seem to be pretty cool, and she hasn't told me they have issues with me, just her friends trip like that. My mom is easy going as hell with the females I've brought to the crib. I don't think I've ever brought a female home she started trippin about.

I like most of his friends. Some are "fratty" and yes I do mean that in the stereotypical uncomplimentary way. However, he needs to have that every once in a while and understands that if he tries to pull any of that misogynistic shit in front of me, he will get a ear (and then some) full. Still there are only a few of his friends I don't get along with. As for my friends, he in general likes them. He wouldn't necessarily choose to hang out with the majority of them on his own? Not so much.

As for family... My parents love him like he was their son. Sometimes my dad gets along better with my boyfriend than he does my brother. Granted my brother lives more of an alternative lifestyle. He is a mix of a hipster and a hippie. My parents are fairly straight edge as is my boyfriend. Whether his family likes me... well it's up in the air in my opinion. His mom lives in a different state so our time together has always been quick meals or get togethers with a bunch of other people. I think his sister likes me in general, we just have different interests. She bugs me a little bit. She likes to play damsel-in-distress and have my boyfriend rescue her. Overall we get along though.

I think it is important to get along with friends. It is especially important to get along with family. As they say "you marry the family too". Friends are important because IMHO the people you hang around with reflect on you. If you only hang out with assholes then you most likely have similar tendencies otherwise why do you hang out with them. What would you have in common with them or why would you put up with their crap? It has been and still is a red flag with me.

ETA: exactly what AlphaFrog said.

[KSUViolet06]

It depends for me. See, I know I have some cray cray family. However, I'm not of the "OMG FAMILY IS EVERYTHINGGGGG!!!" mindset and I don't feel obligated to be around them.

If you have crazy family, cool. But my dealbreaker is the guy who doesn't get that they're cray. Or knows that and insists that we hang out. Or live near them. Or have our kids hang with them. Or lend them money all the time because they (example) are irresponsible. Because "they're family."

Also, in terms of caring about their opinions, when I first meet someone, I care what my friends think moreso than say, my mom.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I agree. You tend to be friends with people who have a lot in common with you, not just activities you enjoy, but lifestyles, values, etc. so it would seem odd to not like each other's friends or be disliked by their friends.

Yep. I totally agree with you, Dee. I just think that friends reveal a lot about the person you are considering because they can be considered duplicates. If you do not like a man's friends, understand that they are displaying something -behaviors, habits, attitudes he might be hiding from you. Like I said before, 9 times out of 10, his friends may reveal who he is when he is not with you. That's why I say for this reason that patience and discernment are required for a quality relationship. At least it is for me.