Didn't get a bid, what should I do?

[DTD Alum]

In my experience, most fraternities don't even look at grades. I really think only colonies or fraternities that are just a couple years away from being colonies tend to consider them seriously. We never mentioned them once during rush.

My guess, like the majority of fraternity rushees, is that when you are rushing fraternities, you are the one choosing which chapters to focus on. Sometimes there can be a discrepancy between where you want to fit in, and where you actually do fit in. Be honest with yourself...were these guys who you actually are, or who you want to be?

One last thing about being invited to smoke weed. I think many fraternities will have at least pockets of stoners. Often times, this group can become almost a subculture within the fraternity, and their top picks may be widely different than the top picks of the fraternity as a whole. Sometimes they may be perceived (rightly or prejudicially) as the "slackers" of the group, and their favorites may be strategically ousted by other groups of guys during rush.

And to everybody saying fraternity rush should be dry...come on...at the overwhelming majority of schools in this country, rush has never been dry and never will be. Not agreeing with it, but let's not be the ostrich with our head in the sand.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by DTD Alum

In my experience, most fraternities don't even look at grades. I really think only colonies or fraternities that are just a couple years away from being colonies tend to consider them seriously. We never mentioned them once during rush.

Add to this fraternities that are under close scrutiny by their HQ's for other reasons, or who didn't make grades last semester, and I totally agree.

[DTD Alum]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Add to this fraternities that are under close scrutiny by their HQ's for other reasons, or who didn't make grades last semester, and I totally agree.

Let's just put it this way. I even know of a fraternity that had TWO voting sessions one rush when nationals sent out an adviser. One when he was awake, and a secret one when he went to sleep. During the first, they talked about grades/leadership/involvement. During the second, they talked about what they really cared about: is this kid fun, is he going to bring around girls, do we like him, is he good at sports, etc.

As I've read posts on this board, it seems like most (if not all) sororities have built in points for grades. Maybe the girl gets extra points in membership selection if her GPA is above a certain standard, maybe the bid list is ordered by GPA, if her GPA is low she gets cut automatically, whatever. Fraternities don't have any of these (to my knowledge) and voting is largely based on chapter decisions, not national guidelines. I have never, ever, ever heard of a guy being denied a bid based on his low GPA if the chapter wanted him. Also, I have never once heard of a kid's high GPA being brought up as a positive during voting. (Colonies excepted). So when guys get on this forum and talk about their GPA, and all these GCers come out of the woodwork and talk about "Well, maybe you were cut because you were a grade risk", I think it's just as misguided as me giving advice about SEC sorority rush. It's very safe to assume your grades played little, if any, part in being cut when rushing 95% of the fraternities out there.

[JDCookMS]

We bring grades up anytime we rush anybody. If you are under a 2.50 our policy is that you don't get a bid, except in extremely rare cases. So far this has worked out for us, as we have a good range of guys from jocks to geeks. Also, we have a Zero Tolerance Policy written into our bylaws that is strictly enforced, if you are found with drugs, then you are instantly kicked out. But, these things came about because at one point, years ago, our chapter went 4/7 years on probation for doing stupid shit.

[Ghostwriter]

Originally Posted by DTD Alum

One last thing about being invited to smoke weed. I think many fraternities will have at least pockets of stoners. Often times, this group can become almost a subculture within the fraternity, and their top picks may be widely different than the top picks of the fraternity as a whole. Sometimes they may be perceived (rightly or prejudicially) as the "slackers" of the group, and their favorites may be strategically ousted by other groups of guys during rush.

This^^^^

Many Fraternities have rules in which it takes only one dissenting vote for a person to not receive a bid. I think you were trying too hard to fit in.

[dekeguy]

Geez, I thought the old rule regarding bids was: ONE BALL - THATS ALL. All you have to do is piss off one active, or in some cases an alum, and you are history. This is a tough situation but it is a double edged sword. If you are friends with an active he can always send you a discrete message to the effect that:
a. You might want to try again (meaning only one or two balls were dropped on you and he/they graduated so give it a shot, you have a reasonable chance)
or
b. sorry you didn't get a bid, but there are plenty of other things to get involved with (meaning when your name came up they had to odrer a truck load of black balls just to take the vote so you haven't got a prayer).

As to weed, while I agree with all that has been said on this, one might also consider this a set up for a test. If you were a 'possibility' but some weren't sure about your judgment and reliability this might have been the land mine placed in your path to see if you would step on it or around it. There is a time and a place for everything and where they might not have cared what you did privately among friends what you did semi-publicly among strangers might have set off warning bells.
You won't get all the info you would like but I would ask someone I had gotten to know well enough to ask whether he could tell you if you were close and it was worth a shot or if you tried again you might run the risk of tar and feathers compliments of an angry mob.
Some fraternities are super strict about any comments but in my experience most allow SOME leeway in advising candidates about their realistic chances for a second shot.
Good Luck.