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Other passengers need to start standing up for their rights. My husband has a VERY firm "arm rest down" policy. If someone says they are not comfortable with it down, he just tells them he is not comfortable with it up. Being obese is not a disability and should not make you eligible for preference, including taking up the seat space of others. NO ONE wants to have someone encroaching upon their personal space.
BTW, jumpseats are not for passengers. The gate agent should not have shut the door until everyone was in a seat and buckled in; ditto for the pilot pushing back from the gate. If there was not "room" for the obese passenger, he should have been asked to deplane.
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