Quote:
Originally Posted by midwest00alum
I'm an alum that's about 10 years out of college.
I just moved to a new city for a job. It happens to have a major university with a very, very large Greek system.
I am interested in, and excited about the possibility of, getting involved as an alum. I feel I have a lot to offer, and also it would be good to meet people including the other local alumns.
The only thing is -- I'm gay. In the years since I left college, I've become active in the gay community, and also have a very low tolerance now for bullying and other behaviors that marginalize gay people. I'm not one to make a scene, but it hurts when I see those kinds of situations, and I hate seeing others get hurt or demeaned by thoughtless behavior.
So, I'm wondering about this choice. I might meet the chapter members and alums, and find them to be terrific people who could care less about my sexuality. Or I might find out that it is a place where intolerance reigns. That would be disappointing, because when I joined my fraternity many years ago, I always wanted it to be a lifelong affiliation.
Thanks for any ideas.
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Bearing in mind that I don't know the area that you're moving to or how progressive the campus is, I would probably let the information out slowly, only because you want to be in control of the message. In an extreme situation, I am thinking of your personal safety as well.
If anyone asks you the "get to know you" type of questions like, "Are you married? / do you have kids?" etc., and you are uncertain as to whether or not it is safe for you to give them your "revelation", you can be somewhat evasive for the time being and just answer with "no, not seeing anyone special right now" (or whatever) for the time being. If you have a same-sex partner, you can say that you have a 'partner' and leave it at that (not sure of the verbiage for the area of the country that you're moving to. In Australia, "partner" is synonymous with your significant other, whether you're straight or gay, married legally or (ahem) "shacked up" (LOL...)
What you could do is contact the gay students sociey on campus (assuming there is one) and ask if they have any helpful insights about the campus climate for gay people in GLOs. If it's a large Greek community, statistically there will be some gay people but as to whether they are ready to come out yet, is another story. As to how "out" they are, it's hard to say. But maybe you can get a "read" on the campus via the students society and then from there, the chapters/ alumni.
There is also this website with a very good article:
http://www.lambda10.org/resources_gaygreekcloset.asp
When all is said and done, please think of your personal safety, trust your instincts from the situational / environmental queues.. (I read the Mathew Shepard book not long ago, so I feel very strongly about being vigiliant of your safety).
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