Before I joined the Order I was really concerned about a lot of the information I learned on the internet also. I too am a Christian and I certainly didn't want to join an organization where I might accidentally worship the devil, unwillingly or unknowingly. But the more I searched my spirit about it, and thought of the people that I knew were members of either the Order or Freemasonry who were on fire for Jesus the less I felt concerned about the opinions of naysayers who really knew little or nothing about this organization I now cherish.
A Scripture comes to my heart for you: Matthew 6:24 KJV
"No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon."
Jesus made it very clear that we cannot "think" that we are serving God but serve satan accidentally. What we do with our flesh gets conviction through the Holy Spirit. We can't do both... I hope this helps you little sister.May God bless and keep you and your family. Selah
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