University of Illinois/Urbana-Champaign Recruitment

[Clara Mom]

The first house she fell in love with back during the Open House rounds was a house that she had no ties to, but just loved it. She was very discouraged not to get that back, but went to the 9 houses that did invite her back, and decided there were three in that bunch that she really liked - she had friends from home in two of the houses, and her room mate and suite mate both liked the third. She was so excited for today, only to be crushed (her words) not to be invited to the only three she liked. She said the six she visited today were always on the bottom of her list, and she doesn't feel good that ones she wanted didn't want her, and it doesn't make her feel better that six houses did want her, maybe there's something wrong with THEM for continuing to invite her back, and the litany goes on. I guess she doesn't want to be a member of any club that wants her ... Ugh!

[Katmandu]

Originally Posted by Clara Mom

and decided there were three in that bunch that she really liked - she had friends from home in two of the houses, and her room mate and suite mate both liked the third.

Sounds like the disappointment of being cut by her early favorite led her to "over focus" on the three remaining chapters that had connections for her==chapters that her friends liked or that had friends from home as actives. Those are "safe" chapters for her.

Hard to believe that out of six remaining chapters, there are not several that would be a good fit. Encourage her to stay, to remain open to what she sees and feels at the pref parties. Those are special times, and emotionally they provide a window into membership, and open the rushees up to see the possibilities.

I hope she puts her wounded pride aside to explore some new options. It's tough to be 18...that is for sure!! It's hard to be a Mama, Auntie, Godmom or friend seeing a young woman take some hits in rush. Hang in there.

[DG Illinois]

Originally Posted by Clara Mom

She said the six she visited today were always on the bottom of her list, and she doesn't feel good that ones she wanted didn't want her, and it doesn't make her feel better that six houses did want her, maybe there's something wrong with THEM for continuing to invite her back, and the litany goes on. I guess she doesn't want to be a member of any club that wants her ... Ugh!

You realize that their are members on here that may be in those 6 houses. I don't think anything is wrong with THEM at all and I'm sorry your daughter or you think that or would even say that out loud.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by DG Illinois

You realize that their are members on here that may be in those 6 houses. I don't think anything is wrong with THEM at all and I'm sorry your daughter or you think that or would even say that out loud.

I didn't take it as an insult to the houses she has left. I took it as a very confused young woman who can't figure out what she thinks any longer and is talking herself in circles that don't necessarily make sense.

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by DG Illinois

You realize that their are members on here that may be in those 6 houses. I don't think anything is wrong with THEM at all and I'm sorry your daughter or you think that or would even say that out loud.

I didn't take it as insult, either. I don't think Clara Mom was agreeing with her daughter's attitude. I think she finds her daughter's attitude frustrating. She sounds very young and sort of insecure.

If she were mine, I would encourage her to go to pref and keep an open mind. Maybe she'll see something she likes and find a home. If she doesn't, she should probably withdraw and informal rush later with the caveat that she should realize that her favorites may not be able to offer any informal bids and even if they can, they may not offer one to her. I'd also encourage her to explore other extracurriculars. There's a ton of great stuff to do at U of I, and good extracurriculars could only strengthen her if she decides to informal rush or rush as a sophomore.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by KDCat

I didn't take it as insult, either. I don't think Clara Mom was agreeing with her daughter's attitude. I think she finds her daughter's attitude frustrating. She sounds very young and sort of insecure.

If she were mine, I would encourage her to go to pref and keep an open mind. Maybe she'll see something she likes and find a home. If she doesn't, she should probably withdraw and informal rush later with the caveat that she should realize that her favorites may not be able to offer any informal bids and even if they can, they may not offer one to her. I'd also encourage her to explore other extracurriculars. There's a ton of great stuff to do at U of I, and good extracurriculars could only strengthen her if she decides to informal rush or rush as a sophomore.

I just want to caution that, looking at number of active members on the spring grade reports, I'm not certain there will be any chapters doing informal.

[Clara Mom]

Originally Posted by DG Illinois

You realize that their are members on here that may be in those 6 houses. I don't think anything is wrong with THEM at all and I'm sorry your daughter or you think that or would even say that out loud.

There is NOTHING wrong with any of the six houses. She is just crushed that each round she has picked a favorite, and she hasn't been asked back. I am sure that part of her is thinking that the three she put to top today are sure to drop her, and she will be going back to her back ups, once again. She is also upset that some of her friends were asked back to her favorites, and they were their back ups. Please cut her some slack.