Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvleeGrrl
Here is my rush story...
I go to kind of small college (around 6000 students), so there are only 2 active sororities on campus. I know hardly anyone here and have been really craving interaction so I thought rushing would be nice. My mom wholeheartedly agreed and said I would have no trouble getting in to one. (I was super active in high school, have an excellent GPA, and am averagely pretty). I pay my recruitment fee, go to the first day of rush, meet up with the girls from the two sororities, and had a fun time. Seriously, I got along great (or so I thought) with the girls from both groups. We mingled and joked and found common interests and all that jazz. Second day of recruitment comes up (business casual wear). I wear my most expensive outfit which is a pencil skirt, a blouse, and uncomfortable shoes. I spent hours on my hair trying to make sure it was perfect. I re-did my eye makeup twice so I could get the right blend. I get there to check out my schedule ...and one of the sororities has already cut me..."what the heck?" I was thinking. I listen to the other recruits talking and almost all of them have been invited back by both. So, I am a little upset but just think to myself "Ok the sorority that invited me back is pretty awesome. I like them. Maybe they will take me in." I go to their event and have even better conversation!..The sorority girls and I shared funny high school stories and I told them about myself. I seemed to have a bunch load of stuff in common with some of the girls. The chemistry was great (or so I thought), and I had a really fun time. Third and final day of recruitment comes up (day before bid day). I go all morning without "the call" so I start planning how I should do my hair and what shoes I should wear with my dress. I have class mid morning so I'm in my Chem lecture and I get the call..."I'm sorry but you have failed to receive an invitation..You have other options yada yada I know this hurts blah blah" I go back to my room, turn on loud music, and cry for 2 hours. I tried to do everything right. I know that I have always seemed to have trouble making friends because I can be a little shy, but now I'm just convinced I emit some kind of "anti" hormone that makes people dislike me. I know I can go to open bid, but now I have missed out on the experience of getting to go to bid day and going to the new sister bonding event. My whole life I have felt like no matter what I do, I miss out on the stuff every one else gets to enjoy (whole other sad sop story)...and I'm just wondering..What did I do wrong?
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Let me say this. And I mean it with all sincerity and no snark.
There is more bothering you than not getting a bid, as you shared here. College is difficult enough, and that age is such a transition for most people. You seem to look at the world from the perspective of a victim.
Take control.
1. An expensive outfit and perfect hair doesn't guarantee anything. And uncomfortable shoes is enough to generate negative energy, even if you aren't conscious of it. You were obviously stressed out, doing your hair and makeup over, just to be "perfect". You don't need to put that kind of pressure on yourself. If you had to work so hard to achieve a certain look, you're not going to feel good about it. You're going to obsess, and that can bring you down, too.
2. If you really want to go Greek, don't worry about what you might have missed (like bid day), and pursue other opportunities if they are available
3. Find some clubs or hobbies - things you really enjoy and/or are good at. Things that bring you happiness and fulfillment. Things that bring you opportunities to interact with others. Become an expert in something. Be the "X" girl - X can mean anything. Are you the best team player? A leader? The creative type? The behind the scenes cheerleader? Use your interests and skills to build your confidence.
4. Lastly, and I probably should have mentioned this first, think about talking to someone in campus counseling. Get the crap out. Whatever your "story," it seems that you need to process it. That's what they are there for - to talk. If you have specific issues in your past, think about support groups. There is nothing wrong in asking someone to help you get through challenges. I think that the most successful people in life are those that have faced their challenges, not necessarily the most popular, best looking, more wealthy, or higher status people.
Whatever you do, good luck.
Hybrid Mode
