University of Illinois/Urbana-Champaign Recruitment - Page 10

DG Illinois · #1 09-17-2011, 05:23 PM

[QUOTE=lovespink88;2092064]DG Illinois, I hope Ava is having a great day! That's so great that she still has so many options (a full schedule!)

Thanks so much! She is a wonderful girl and she has a lot of wonderful options, I am excited for her because I know she will embrace the house that wants her with open arms.

CubbieBlue · #2 09-17-2011, 01:45 PM

My rec girl has a full schedule today! She will be returning to:
Alpha Chi Omega
Alpha Xi Delta
Delta Gamma
Kappa Delta
Delta Zeta

Kappa Alpha Theta
Kappa Kappa Gamma

arrowlady · #3 09-17-2011, 03:22 PM

Sending positive thoughts to all the U of I girls and their supporters!!! I know it must be emotionally draining on all with it being so spread out!

BlueOwl · #4 09-17-2011, 03:24 PM

DG Illinois, was it a legacy chapter that did not invite your daughter back?? Ahhh, that happened to my daughter when she rushed three years ago. It hurts when your sorority drops your own daughter!! I actually had to put my badge in the back of a drawer for months!! Just couldn't look at it because it hurt my heart too much!! But, hey, my daughter had a great outcome and is happy as can be in her sorority!! So, yes, your girl will be just fine too!!

Loving this thread!!!

DG Illinois · #5 09-17-2011, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueOwl

DG Illinois, was it a legacy chapter that did not invite your daughter back?? Ahhh, that happened to my daughter when she rushed three years ago. It hurts when your sorority drops your own daughter!! I actually had to put my badge in the back of a drawer for months!! Just couldn't look at it because it hurt my heart too much!! But, hey, my daughter had a great outcome and is happy as can be in her sorority!! So, yes, your girl will be just fine too!!

Loving this thread!!!

Thanks! No I am actually her Aunt so she was not a legagy. My sister was in a different house there though and that house is still on her schedule so my sister is so excited. We are just very close and I tried to convince her that maybe she loved my house so much because she loves me so much. She is excited about the houses she is visiting today, I just think it's a little scary because she told me she's afraid to really bond with anyone in case they don't invite her back tomorrow. I reminded her this process is hard but worth it, throw yourself into these parties and be yourself and don't worry about invites. I know it's easy to say, but I just keep saying positive things over and over again and hope that it sinks in somewhere.

I'm sorry about your daughter and I would be very sad if the same happened to my daughters. But reading that your daughter found her home in a house with different letters and is so happy shows that it is really something that is probably much more important to me because I want to share that with them. But what I truly want is for my daughters to be happy just like we all do. (Thankfully that's a long while away). I can say that the 4 years I was there we really took our legacies in almost every situation. I don't want anyone to get mad at me, I realize the number of legacies is much larger now, but there was no way any of us wanted to call the legacy and advise them their daughter was not returning. I never met any rushee (as we would say) that didn't have special qualities that we would love, so there was never a valid reason to not invite them to join our house.

I appreciate this site so much though because it really helps me understand how today is so different in regards to legacies and RFM.
I will be better able to prepare my daughters for the expectaton of what rush is today and to go into it with an open heart and to expect some parts of it to be difficult. Also I love that I am a legagy to my biological daughter and my beautiful step-daughter who I am lucky enough to have in my life! They are the same exact age too, so I will need all of you when I have both my girls going through at the same time!

And I didn't change the font in italics to be dramatic, it just happened and I'm too lazy to rewrite everything !

lovespink88 · #6 09-17-2011, 05:08 PM

The last party is wrapping up! 4 more parties tomorrow (pmns can only visit up to 3) and we're done!

Clara Mom · #7 09-17-2011, 05:35 PM

My poor daughter had her heart broken again, and again, and again. She was invited back to only six houses, but not the three she fell in love with last week. She can't really see herself in any of the remaining six, and had a tough time deciding which to preference. I don't think her heart is in at all ...

DeltaBetaBaby · #8 09-17-2011, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clara Mom

My poor daughter had her heart broken again, and again, and again. She was invited back to only six houses, but not the three she fell in love with last week. She can't really see herself in any of the remaining six, and had a tough time deciding which to early preference. I don't think her heart is in at all ...

Oh, I hope she regains her balance. SIX chapters still really want her; I'm sure there has to be at least one that she would love. Please, please, please talk her into at least finishing the process.

DG Illinois · #9 09-17-2011, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clara Mom

My poor daughter had her heart broken again, and again, and again. She was invited back to only six houses, but not the three she fell in love with last week. She can't really see herself in any of the remaining six, and had a tough time deciding which to early preference. I don't think her heart is in at all ...

I was worried when we hadn't heard from you yet and I did send you a pm early this morning so I hope you got it and knew I was thinking about you. I don't know what early preference is, but maybe I'm reading this wrong. I just hope she went back to all the houses she could today.
The last parties are really great and pref night at every house is a magical experience that can really give your daughter insight on how much these girls would love to have her.

TriDeltaSallie · #10 09-17-2011, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clara Mom

My poor daughter had her heart broken again, and again, and again. She was invited back to only six houses, but not the three she fell in love with last week. She can't really see herself in any of the remaining six, and had a tough time deciding which to preference. I don't think her heart is in at all ...

Do you have any idea why she can't see herself in these six? Is it because she can't get past thinking about the ones that dropped her? I've read a lot of recruitment stories and I don't ever remember anyone getting six (!) invites and thinking they weren't a good fit for any of them.

Clara Mom · #11 09-17-2011, 06:18 PM

Sorry - meant she didn't know which three to preference for tomorrow. You would think with six, there would be at least ONE that she could at least live with until she fell madly in love. But it's just not the case. She did complete her card and return it, but she doesn't feel good about any on her list.

DG Illinois · #12 09-17-2011, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clara Mom

Sorry - meant she didn't know which three to preference for tomorrow. You would think with six, there would be at least ONE that she could at least live with until she fell madly in love. But it's just not the case. She did complete her card and return it, but she doesn't feel good about any on her list.

The houses there are wonderful and those 6 are inviting her back because they see something in her. I'm glad she went back today but I am really surprised she doesn't feel good about any of them.

I hope I didn't confuse anyone when I said Ava was upset today about the choices she had left. She was more upset with getting cut from one she was really leaning towards. That didn't work out, but she would love to be in a sorority and she really liked the other houses. She was just worried about gettig invitations to preference on Sunday from the 7 she was visiting today.

Clara Mom · #13 09-17-2011, 06:55 PM

The first house she fell in love with back during the Open House rounds was a house that she had no ties to, but just loved it. She was very discouraged not to get that back, but went to the 9 houses that did invite her back, and decided there were three in that bunch that she really liked - she had friends from home in two of the houses, and her room mate and suite mate both liked the third. She was so excited for today, only to be crushed (her words) not to be invited to the only three she liked. She said the six she visited today were always on the bottom of her list, and she doesn't feel good that ones she wanted didn't want her, and it doesn't make her feel better that six houses did want her, maybe there's something wrong with THEM for continuing to invite her back, and the litany goes on. I guess she doesn't want to be a member of any club that wants her ... Ugh!

Katmandu · #14 09-17-2011, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clara Mom

and decided there were three in that bunch that she really liked - she had friends from home in two of the houses, and her room mate and suite mate both liked the third.

Sounds like the disappointment of being cut by her early favorite led her to "over focus" on the three remaining chapters that had connections for her==chapters that her friends liked or that had friends from home as actives. Those are "safe" chapters for her.

Hard to believe that out of six remaining chapters, there are not several that would be a good fit. Encourage her to stay, to remain open to what she sees and feels at the pref parties. Those are special times, and emotionally they provide a window into membership, and open the rushees up to see the possibilities.

I hope she puts her wounded pride aside to explore some new options. It's tough to be 18...that is for sure!! It's hard to be a Mama, Auntie, Godmom or friend seeing a young woman take some hits in rush. Hang in there.

DG Illinois · #15 09-17-2011, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clara Mom

She said the six she visited today were always on the bottom of her list, and she doesn't feel good that ones she wanted didn't want her, and it doesn't make her feel better that six houses did want her, maybe there's something wrong with THEM for continuing to invite her back, and the litany goes on. I guess she doesn't want to be a member of any club that wants her ... Ugh!

You realize that their are members on here that may be in those 6 houses. I don't think anything is wrong with THEM at all and I'm sorry your daughter or you think that or would even say that out loud.