A disconnect with legacies?

[BraveMaroon]

This is one of those topics that is fraught with nuances and isn't easily answered.

Here are a handful of scenarios I've encountered:

1. My roommate was a double leg at a very popular chapter at our school. She got dropped from them the night before prefs. Which did not sit well with mom, who lit up our dorm room phone (my roommate was out partying, and I kept taking messages), and probably the phones of several alum groups, etc. Lotta pissed off people, lotta drama.

I felt bad for her, especially I knew she'd been very outspoken to me and several other sororities that she was pledging her legacy. That was her bad, and she ended up dropping out.

2. I was a legacy at a house that invited me back to second round as a courtesy. They were polite and friendly and made me feel very welcome, but looking around at the party, I knew I wasn't their typical member. They didn't do anything to make me feel that way, but I was a Nilla Wafer surrounded by Pepperidge Farm Milanos. And I knew that. And I was fine with it. So I wasn't devastated to lose them from my party list after round two because I knew they'd given me the benefit of the doubt, and I was still left with a list of great parties with houses I loved. I never held it against them, and I doubt anyone, including my sister, lost any sleep over it.


3. My first year on the sister side of rush, we had a "megaleg" come through. Her mother had exposed her to our sorority, her sister had done the same, and we all loved her and she loved us. It was a great fit, and she's a model alum to this day. Everyone was happy.

4. The next year, we had a legacy coming to our house who I thought would have been...OK. She was definitely a little awkward, and while she had a few people championing her cause, not everyone was sold. She was very interested in us, which made it that much harder. Our advisors were pushing her HARD, and that rubbed some people the wrong way. So ultimately after a lot of discussion, we didn't invite her back. I felt bad, but at the same time - was it better to disappoint her than to have her join and be treated badly by half the chapter? As much as we'd like college women to behave like grown-ups, they're not always capable of it. But - we cut her after round two, and that freed her up to find a good fit. Which, thankfully, she did.

5. The same year, we had a legacy who came through and was extremely rude to her hostess, telling her she had no intention of setting foot in our house. And we weren't allowed to cut her, even though she had been a jackass. She didn't return for round two, which was due to her rankings, but we would have loved the satisfaction of axing her.

It reminds me of balancing chemical equations in high school - you have to carefully weigh every element and consider every factor or it could blow up on you.

Sometimes, even if you do it right, it can still blow up on you