A disconnect with legacies?

[BraveMaroon]

This is one of those topics that is fraught with nuances and isn't easily answered.

Here are a handful of scenarios I've encountered:

1. My roommate was a double leg at a very popular chapter at our school. She got dropped from them the night before prefs. Which did not sit well with mom, who lit up our dorm room phone (my roommate was out partying, and I kept taking messages), and probably the phones of several alum groups, etc. Lotta pissed off people, lotta drama.

I felt bad for her, especially I knew she'd been very outspoken to me and several other sororities that she was pledging her legacy. That was her bad, and she ended up dropping out.

2. I was a legacy at a house that invited me back to second round as a courtesy. They were polite and friendly and made me feel very welcome, but looking around at the party, I knew I wasn't their typical member. They didn't do anything to make me feel that way, but I was a Nilla Wafer surrounded by Pepperidge Farm Milanos. And I knew that. And I was fine with it. So I wasn't devastated to lose them from my party list after round two because I knew they'd given me the benefit of the doubt, and I was still left with a list of great parties with houses I loved. I never held it against them, and I doubt anyone, including my sister, lost any sleep over it.


3. My first year on the sister side of rush, we had a "megaleg" come through. Her mother had exposed her to our sorority, her sister had done the same, and we all loved her and she loved us. It was a great fit, and she's a model alum to this day. Everyone was happy.

4. The next year, we had a legacy coming to our house who I thought would have been...OK. She was definitely a little awkward, and while she had a few people championing her cause, not everyone was sold. She was very interested in us, which made it that much harder. Our advisors were pushing her HARD, and that rubbed some people the wrong way. So ultimately after a lot of discussion, we didn't invite her back. I felt bad, but at the same time - was it better to disappoint her than to have her join and be treated badly by half the chapter? As much as we'd like college women to behave like grown-ups, they're not always capable of it. But - we cut her after round two, and that freed her up to find a good fit. Which, thankfully, she did.

5. The same year, we had a legacy who came through and was extremely rude to her hostess, telling her she had no intention of setting foot in our house. And we weren't allowed to cut her, even though she had been a jackass. She didn't return for round two, which was due to her rankings, but we would have loved the satisfaction of axing her.

It reminds me of balancing chemical equations in high school - you have to carefully weigh every element and consider every factor or it could blow up on you.

Sometimes, even if you do it right, it can still blow up on you

[carnation]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

They didn't do anything to make me feel that way, but I was a Nilla Wafer surrounded by Pepperidge Farm Milanos.

This is a great analogy! But you know, that continues to happen all through life.

[BraveMaroon]

Originally Posted by carnation

This is a great analogy! But you know, that continues to happen all through life.

Well, it takes Nilla Wafers to make banana pudding, so I thrive on being built for comfort and not speed.

So to speak.

I remember my husband once described me to a friend as "sturdy". I was horrified, until I realized that sturdy gets the job done!

[carnation]

And they only think they're Milanos! Maybe they're just really...oatmeal cookies.

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by carnation

And they only think they're Milanos! Maybe they're just really...oatmeal cookies.

: ) nutter butters

[BraveMaroon]

Originally Posted by HQWest

: ) nutter butters

See? Exactly! The point is, ALL cookies are delicious and wonderful and valuable. There's room in the cookie jar for all of us!

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

See? Exactly! The point is, ALL cookies are delicious and wonderful and valuable.

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

They didn't do anything to make me feel that way, but I was a Nilla Wafer surrounded by Pepperidge Farm Milanos.

Originally Posted by carnation

And they only think they're Milanos! Maybe they're just really...oatmeal cookies.

Originally Posted by HQWest

: ) nutter butters

We had a legacy come through one year named Ginger Snapp. (I promise I'm not making that up.) We pledged her.

[carnation]

The KDs at State pledged one named Ida Cline! (She became Homecoming Queen.)

[AUBoosMom]

Thank you for the informative replies and hilarious cookie analogies!

I thought we included legacy information on rush applications simply to let the sororities know we were familiar with the requirements and responsibilities that go along with membership in a GLO. That's why I was horrified to read that some groups could possibly assume that means the PNM is only interested in belonging to the same sorority, so would release her just because she is an XYZ legacy.

My daughter knows she will be truly fortunate to be accepted into any of the amazing sororities at Auburn and is certainly intending to maximize her possibilities. I hope she conveys this by her positive attitude, since we can't go back in time and note on her application that she is open to all of the groups (which, LtCol, is a great idea)!

And of course I know we do not know/cannot divulge membership selection info -- I guess I just wanted to know if you all thought the groups "traditionally" release legacies of all other sororities. In hindsight, I realize that was an irrational and kind of dumb thing to think. How could we poach legacies if that was the case??!! (JK) I can only plead that I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown last night when I read this thread.

Honestly, the next three days are going to be longest of my life!