Greek life virgin! Would this be weird? Desperate for help!

[greekdee]

If I was speaking to you, my tone of voice would be very kind, so don't take this wrong -- but please don't use the word "frat" when communicating with this guy (or any for that matter.) Fraternity is the correct way to refer to a guy's Greek organization and many are offended by the term "frat." Might be more of a southern thing; I'm not sure but it is something to be aware of. Just a heads up! Best wishes with your pursuit!

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by greekdee

If I was speaking to you, my tone of voice would be very kind, so don't take this wrong -- but please don't use the word "frat" when communicating with this guy (or any for that matter.) Fraternity is the correct way to refer to a guy's Greek organization and many are offended by the term "frat." Might be more of a southern thing; I'm not sure but it is something to be aware of. Just a heads up! Best wishes with your pursuit!

Many groups are not offended by the use of the word frat. I know we've discussed this 4.2 million times on this site.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Many groups are not offended by the use of the word frat. I know we've discussed this 4.2 million times on this site.

At least she did say "many are offended," and more importantly, she didn't invoke the Idiotic-Analogy-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named.

But it is good advice, especially somewhere like Auburn, I'd think. No one is going to be offended by "fraternity," so why risk it by using "frat" unless you're sure it won't cause offense?

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

At least he did say "many are offended," and more importantly, he didn't invoke the Idiotic-Analogy-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named.

But it is good advice, especially somewhere like Auburn, I'd think. No one is going to be offended by "fraternity," so why risk it by using "frat" unless you're sure it won't cause offense?

True, and I wouldn't have said anything if it weren't for:

Originally Posted by greekdee

(or any for that matter.) Fraternity is the correct way to refer to a guy's Greek organization

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

True, and I wouldn't have said anything if it weren't for:

Very valid point. It's also worth reminding people (again) that the idea of "frat" being offensive is a fairly recent thing.

But back to the OP's original question, if I were the guy you're talking about, I'd find it very weird, to say the least. I wouldn't do it, at least not out of the blue.

The only thing I'll add is to slow down on picking which fraternities you might be interested in, and don't place too much emphasis on who's considered "Top 5." Sure, the websites can be helpful in getting a feel for the groups, and rankings may be more important to some than to others, but the bottom line is whether you mesh with the other guys, and you won't know that until you meet them.

Your top fraternity is the one where you fit best.

[OPhiAGinger]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Sure, the websites can be helpful in getting a feel for the groups, and rankings may be more important to some than to others, but the bottom line is whether you mesh with the other guys, and you won't know that until you meet them.

Exactly. Basing so much on the appeal of the website is not the way to go. They might have a brilliant website designer, but you're not selecting a lifetime affiliation to a website. The OP needs to actually meet the brothers to know whether he feels comfortable with them.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by HannahXO

Also a girl, but IMO, contacting this guy would be very weird.

Get into Auburn first. Then start thinking about rush, but don't start ruling out or deciding on fraternities before you actually meet the guys that are currently in them.

At the bolded. Some chapters at Auburn – as well as other chapters at other colleges – often begin “rushing” men during their senior year of high school. Often there may be official and unofficial parties and or events lined up where high school seniors may be invited. As such, “getting your name out there” as interested may be important to receiving an invite to a party. And potentially receiving a bid to more formal rush events down the line. And hopefully, a bid.

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

what if you spoke with the college placement officer, the dean or the guidance officer (whichever one would be the most appropriate) at your prep school and ask them if any students from your prep school went to auburn that you could contact?(okay, i know that you found this guy already, but if you contact him on your own it very well might appear stalkerish and ruin any chances you might have with that fraternity). if the prep school alum. has kept in touch, the person you speak to at your school will most likely encourage you to contact him, at which point you no longer appear stalkerish. your initial contact could go something like this:

you: hey prep school alum. my name is ______ and i will be a senior at prep school this upcoming school year. i am very interested in auburn university and college placement officer at prep school recommended that i contact you to learn more about the university. what was your experience at auburn like? did you feel that prep school prepared you well for the auburn curriculum? what activities were you involved in at auburn?

him: hello _____. i loved auburn. yes i did feel that i was well prepared for college. auburn is a great school that offers a lot of activities for students to get involved in. I was in ______, ______ and ABC fraternity. i could highly recommend greek life. have you thought about going greek?

if he answers you in anyway like the conversation above, you can then ask him more detailed questions about greek life in general and his fraternity in particular.

hopefully he will feel the old school ties, and will answer you back. if he does not, just drop it and plan on going to any preview activities that auburn might hold. have you contacted or visited at auburn yet? if not, get on their list, so that you get info. from them.

Like.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

But it is good advice, especially somewhere like Auburn, I'd think. No one is going to be offended by "fraternity," so why risk it by using "frat" unless you're sure it won't cause offense?

Originally Posted by MysticCat

It's also worth reminding people (again) that the idea of "frat" being offensive is a fairly recent thing.

I would also suggest that even during rush (recruitment), if a member uses “frat”, the rushee should continue to use “fraternity”. Sometimes, the member may be “testing” the rushee about his usage. Same may apply to shortening the fraternity name. Unless you know for sure the person you are speaking with will not be offended by it, don’t shorten the fraternity's name.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

The only thing I'll add is to slow down on picking which fraternities you might be interested in, and don't place too much emphasis on who's considered "Top 5." Sure, the websites can be helpful in getting a feel for the groups, and rankings may be more important to some than to others, but the bottom line is whether you mesh with the other guys, and you won't know that until you meet them.

Your top fraternity is the one where you fit best.

As such, perhaps at the start of next spring semester (i.e. end of your senior year in high school) you might want to contact the Auburn Greek Life office and sign up for rush. Unless things changes, many Auburn fraternities have Summer Rush events. And often, pledge classes may be decided before the Fall term even starts. So be sure to get your name out there as interested.

Simply put, it can be hard to be invited to rush events – where you meet the members - if a chapter does not know you are interested. Or have any contact information.

[psusue]

Originally Posted by TSteven

Unless you know for sure the person you are speaking with will not be offended by it, don’t shorten the fraternity's name.

This is slightly off topic from the OP, but I would second this, even though I am neither a fraternity man nor someone who has attended Auburn. Personally though, I absolutely HATE it when a non member calls my sorority "Tri Sig". You don't have to say my sorority's name that often, why are you shortening it like you are familiar with it? It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. It's Tri Sigma or simply, Sigma. That is also stated on our website. When in doubt, always use the full name until somebody tells you not to. The last thing you want to do is offend someone by calling their organization by a name they don't use or like. /end slightly off topic rant.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by psusue

This is slightly off topic from the OP, but I would second this, even though I am neither a fraternity man nor someone who has attended Auburn. Personally though, I absolutely HATE it when a non member calls my sorority "Tri Sig". You don't have to say my sorority's name that often, why are you shortening it like you are familiar with it? It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. It's Tri Sigma or simply, Sigma. That is also stated on our website. When in doubt, always use the full name until somebody tells you not to. The last thing you want to do is offend someone by calling their organization by a name they don't use or like. /end slightly off topic rant.

Snap, snap. I dislike it when people say Tri Delt. Especially when people hyphenate it when they write it (as in Tri-Delt). Double wrong.

[DeltaEmi88]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

Snap, snap. I dislike it when people say Tri Delt. Especially when people hyphenate it when they write it (as in Tri-Delt). Double wrong.

I was just about to say that exact same thing! It drives me even more insane when I see my own sisters saying it and wearing it on shirts. We're Deltas, or Tri Deltas, not Delts.

[angels&angles]

Same may apply to shortening the fraternity name. Unless you know for sure the person you are speaking with will not be offended by it, don’t shorten the fraternity's name.

This. Some universities use different nicknames than others. For instance, at my campus the Lambda Chi Alphas are known as the Lambdas, not Lambda Chis. Pi Kappa Alphas are PIKAs not Pikes. Pi Kappa Phis are Pi Phis (Guy Phis, sometimes, to distinguish them from the sorority) not Pi Kapps.