Positive Reinforcement from Standards Chairman?

[ASAek406]

I'm a recently elected Standards chairman for my chapter. I know with this job there is a lot of negative things to handle so I would like to lighten things up with positive reinforcement. My chapter already does a "Sister Caught Doing Good" award. Does anyone have any other ideas?
Thank you!!

[Smile_Awhile]

I'm currently our VP Chapter Relations and Standards (yes, I run the standards board). Be prepared for situations that you will not enjoy dealing with, and people treating you as a bit of an outsider because you're the "bad guy". But always remember that you need to maintain the difference between you as an officer and you as a friend/sister. There is a difference.

One of the neatest things I've started at my chapter is called the "sisterhood scrapbook". You begin this by writing a letter to a sister who has meant a lot to you, or done something particularly nice for you. In this letter, you tell that individual why they're an awesome person and sister, and why you love them. By reading it in front of the chapter, you get to highlight this individual to the chapter. That sister gets the notebook for the next week, and she writes a letter to another sister. The chain continues on, and on... It's a really great idea that I got from one of our chapter consultants.

[RaggedyAnn]

That is fantastic that you are thinking about both sides of the position!

Have you talked with your Education Coaching Team Member yet? She should be able to help you out with ideas. If you don't know who she is, PM me and I'll guide you in the right direction. You could also post for help on the ASA Application talked about in our latest Phoenix, to get additional ideas from the ones posted on GreekChat.

[AnotherKD]

We had a book similar to Smile Awhile's, but it was just left in our downstairs living room where everyone tended to congregate and hang out. Basically, people would write little notes to each other in it and also talk about all of the good things that others were doing. For instance, something like "Cara, thank you so much for helping me study for my econ test! You are so sweet to help and I couldn't have done as well without you!" or even "Beth, I saw you across campus yesterday in your letters and you looked fabulous the way you were dressed and the way you had your hair. I'm so proud to have you as my sister!" These notes could be anonymous as well, and everyone loved flipping through the book every day to see what new ones were written and also to see ones from some time ago. I wish I had that in my adult life, haha!

[33girl]

I REALLY like the book idea above. It also gives more motivation for people who don't live in the house to come there and visit and lessen the house sisters/non-house sisters division.

We had a weekly Sister and Boobie award at meetings - sister of the week did something awesome (like starred in a university theater production) and boobie did something silly (like forgot to take off her slippers and walked to class with them on). It got the meeting off to a lighthearted start.

If you use a points system, make sure it is a positive one (i.e. you are working towards getting the most points so you get free formal tickets) and not a negative one (i.e. if you don't get the minimum # of points you can't go to formal). If systems are geared toward the "least minimum" that's what many people will do - that's just human nature.

When choosing your standards board, make sure the girls are from different classes and MOST importantly, that they aren't all best friends or in the same clique. The last thing you want is to give the impression that SB is skewed towards one particular group of girls.

Good luck!! Also - remember when posting on the ASA app on Facebook - it is not a private app and anyone (from PNMs to other sororities) can read it, so be discreet.

[TennesseeADPi]

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

We had a book similar to Smile Awhile's, but it was just left in our downstairs living room where everyone tended to congregate and hang out. Basically, people would write little notes to each other in it and also talk about all of the good things that others were doing. For instance, something like "Cara, thank you so much for helping me study for my econ test! You are so sweet to help and I couldn't have done as well without you!" or even "Beth, I saw you across campus yesterday in your letters and you looked fabulous the way you were dressed and the way you had your hair. I'm so proud to have you as my sister!" These notes could be anonymous as well, and everyone loved flipping through the book every day to see what new ones were written and also to see ones from some time ago. I wish I had that in my adult life, haha!

Ohhh my gosh I absolutely LOVE this idea!! Only none of the sororities on our campus have houses or suites or anything of the like... Any one gave any ideas how this could be adapted for a chapter to just has to meet in the Student center??

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by TennesseeADPi

Ohhh my gosh I absolutely LOVE this idea!! Only none of the sororities on our campus have houses or suites or anything of the like... Any one gave any ideas how this could be adapted for a chapter to just has to meet in the Student center??

Have a different sister "own" it for the week and pass it around after chapter (meeting) is over.

[HannahXO]

My chapter also does something we call the support bra. Years ago someone bought and crafted (of course!) a really big bra, it's like 46DDD or something like that! The support bra is given each week to a sister who is having a tough week for whatever reason- for example, it might go to a sister who just had a death in the family, or even to the new member ed coordinator right after bid day- anyone who needs some extra support! Then that sister passes it on the next week. The bra itself obviously doesn't really matter, but it does alert the chapter to a sister who needs a hand. You don't even have to share the specific reason for passing on the bra if it is personal, but it is a great way to keep chapter members looking out for each other.

[psy]

Originally Posted by Smile_Awhile

One of the neatest things I've started at my chapter is called the "sisterhood scrapbook". You begin this by writing a letter to a sister who has meant a lot to you, or done something particularly nice for you. In this letter, you tell that individual why they're an awesome person and sister, and why you love them. By reading it in front of the chapter, you get to highlight this individual to the chapter. That sister gets the notebook for the next week, and she writes a letter to another sister. The chain continues on, and on... It's a really great idea that I got from one of our chapter consultants.

Contrarian, but I kind of hate this idea. I could see it turning into one huge popularity contest where the same group of sisters praise each other or get praised week after week, and it generating seriously bad blood, especially as it's likely, IMO, to lean heavily toward live-ins and ignore live-outs.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by psy

Contrarian, but I kind of hate this idea. I could see it turning into one huge popularity contest where the same group of sisters praise each other or get praised week after week, and it generating seriously bad blood, especially as it's likely, IMO, to lean heavily toward live-ins and ignore live-outs.

I'm sure you could make a rule (although you shouldn't have to) not to repeat sisters over the course of a semester/year/whatever. Although, it can be a wakeup call. If you realize you have no one in the chapter who feels close to you like that, or that you feel close to, maybe you need to put some more into the sorority and stop waiting for everyone to come to you.

The only way it ignores live-outs is if the live-outs never bother to come and visit the house. It's everyone's house, not just the girls who sleep there. Again, if you make no effort to be in the center of things, the center of things is not going to pick up and go to you.

The more you put in, the more you get out. The less you ask of people, the less they will do.

[psy]

Originally Posted by 33girl

The only way it ignores live-outs is if the live-outs never bother to come and visit the house. It's everyone's house, not just the girls who sleep there. Again, if you make no effort to be in the center of things, the center of things is not going to pick up and go to you.

In my experience, not true--it didn't matter how often live-outs came over or if they were on E-Board, etc--there was still a TON of live-in groupiness/clique-y behavior (of course, there was also plenty of live-in drama). Live-in inside jokes, live-in 2am spur of the moment dance parties, live-in rooommate cliques/drama/gossip, etc. etc. You could be over there multiple times a week, and you still wouldn't be there for the live-in midnight/3am drama/gossip/bonding which inevitably happened. Not saying live-outs couldn't form close friendships within the sorority (I was a perpetual live-out for reasons completely outside of my control [no, not finances], and I definitely made some amazing, close friendships with my sisters, as well as more casual, "fun" ones), but there was definitely a divide between live-outs and live-ins. YMMV.

[33girl]

Which is why things like were mentioned above are a great way to try and lessen that. There are always going to be the house girls, the girls on intramurals, the girls who all party at TKE, etc etc etc. Instead of throwing up your hands and saying "oh well" - do things to make it better.

If anyone wanted to sleep on the couch in the living room...they were more than welcome to do so and participate in all the 2 AM house nuttiness. Many sisters did. The girls who were negative and said "the house is all cliques and drama" were plenty busy forming their own, usually even tighter, little cliques.