First signs of a bad first date

[AGDee]

I'm surprised I haven't posted more in here. I've had some really awful first dates.

One guy invited me to the race track (horses). He won the Tri-fecta ($600). He didn't pay for my dinner, for any of my drinks, any of my bets.. nothing! If I had won big like that, I'd have bought drinks for the next table over as well as for my date!

I'm sure I've told the story of the guy who brought his 15 year old son who was a former patient of mine when I was working adolescent psych. Probably in D&R somewhere.

There was one guy, who a "friend" had set me up with. We met at a hotel restaurant because it was about halfway between us and had really good food. He had been in a fraternity at my alma mater (a few years younger than me) so we knew a lot of the same people, which was why my "friend" set us up. He waggled his eyebrows very obviously, several times, and said "We're in a hotel" with a big exaggerated wink. SEVERAL TIMES. At first it was kind of funny, but it went on and on. He told me stories about how he hung out with a lot of lesbians in college and ended up at a lesbian orgy. He was a total pig. I asked my "friend" afterward if she really thought he was my type and she said "Well, he's totally a dog but I figured you were both greek at EMU and I wasn't sure he'd be like that with everybody". Yeah, that makes us totally compatible, sure. When I told some sisters from his era at EMU that I had gone out with him once, they were flabbergasted that someone would set up a "friend" with someone like him. Oy.


I really hate first dates you know.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I'm in my mid-40s and in a very different life phase than you, that's why I am "old" in comparison to you.

MID-40s, Represent up in this piece!! I don't co-sign the "old" part but understand the life phase thing. I call it perspective.

[dekeguy]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I'm in my mid-40s and in a very different life phase than you, that's why I am "old" in comparison to you.

A "dekeguy kind of date" is a gentlemanly approach, in my view.

================================================== =====

I suppose it depends on 'life experiences to date' to determine what life phase one happens to be in. Some are old and wise at 25 and some are still a bit wet behind the ears at 50.
I have had people tell me that I think like an old lawyer and act like an Edwardian. Others have said that I have the optimism of a boy and the cynicism of one who has lived too long and seen too much.
I do thank you for your comment 'a gentlemanly approach'. Its the approach I find most comfortable and provides the best opportunity to get to know the one with whom I am sharing the date.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

MID-40s, Represent up in this piece!! I don't co-sign the "old" part but understand the life phase thing. I call it perspective.

You're at a good age. Seasoned enough to be above many of the silly relationship antics. Go 'head with ya bad self!

[XAntoftheSkyX]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyyE70VV4qA

Ahem.

[Drolefille]

^^ It's gonna be a thing.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I'm sure I've told the story of the guy who brought his 15 year old son who was a former patient of mine when I was working adolescent psych. Probably in D&R somewhere.

Re-tell! Re-tell! Wut if kitteh sez pleeze????

Um when the entire apartment complex stinks like weed and it's ALL coming from his place. #ontothenextone

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Re-tell! Re-tell! Wut if kitteh sez pleeze????

I 2nd that, Dee. Some of us have never heard the story and are just too lazy to go digging through your old posts.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by agzg

I would imagine that some of the guys who wear the software company logo shirts are trying to imply that they're wealthy (and work for an uber successful tech company like Microsoft, Google, or Apple). Tech guys love to show that shit off.

Yeah, see, there's nothing special or unique about that in this area. Microsoft is the second or third biggest corporate employer in the state, and Google and other tech companies have offices/campuses here, too. Tech guys are a dime a dozen here, to the point where it was refreshing to meet a guy who didn't work for Microsoft or another tech company. What's funny about it is that most of the MS guys I went on dates with (when I was single) were actually contracters, as MANY tech company employees are, and therefore were not actually employees of Microsoft.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by dekeguy

================================================== =====

I suppose it depends on 'life experiences to date' to determine what life phase one happens to be in. Some are old and wise at 25 and some are still a bit wet behind the ears at 50.
I have had people tell me that I think like an old lawyer and act like an Edwardian. Others have said that I have the optimism of a boy and the cynicism of one who has lived too long and seen too much.
I do thank you for your comment 'a gentlemanly approach'. Its the approach I find most comfortable and provides the best opportunity to get to know the one with whom I am sharing the date.

I'm referring to relationship life phases I guess. I'm divorced twice. In three short years, both of my kids will be away at college. While not opposed to dating someone who is younger/older than me, the "children" phase is almost over for me so someone who is looking to settle down/have children or who has much younger children is "young" to me and long term goals wouldn't be compatible. My brother, on the other hand, just became a father for the first time at age 48 last year. He and I are in different life phases!

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Re-tell! Re-tell! Wut if kitteh sez pleeze????

Um when the entire apartment complex stinks like weed and it's ALL coming from his place. #ontothenextone

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

I 2nd that, Dee. Some of us have never heard the story and are just too lazy to go digging through your old posts.

I should make y'all buy the book someday.. but instead, since I like you...

Background: 2000, ink still fresh on the divorce papers. I was living with my ex still because I had to, until all the paperwork went through to liquidate retirement funds so he could buy me out of my half of the house. I thought that would be a quick process so I was looking at houses, waiting for that cash so I buy one. I was doing Yahoo personals, which were free at the time. Digital cameras were more rare, not a lot of people had web cams or cameras on their phones. This story was one of my very first dates from this online personals endeavor. It's amazing I persist with it after this one. Seriously.

So, this guy responded to my ad but didn't have a picture. We had great conversations on IM for a few weeks and decided to meet. He mentioned that he had custody of his 15 year old, which I admired at the time. We agreed to meet for dinner at a casual place nearby. We chat on the phone just before hand and he tells me that he will be the one with a ball cap on, which gives me reason to pause for a second. One should not be wearing a ball cap indoors. But... we'll see. I have not seen a picture. I had left my job in adolescent psych just 3 months prior for my new IT career.

I still got nervous about these dates back then. I don't get nervous now. I got there way too early so I left and drove around for a while and then went back to the restaurant. As I'm pulling up to the restaurant, I see a car turn into the parking lot and the person driving is wearing a ball cap. There is someone else in the car. "Must not be him".

I park, walk in and look around. There is a man in a booth not far from the door who smiles a big smile and waves. He is wearing a ball cap.. a very greasy ball cap. His hair is long enough that it touches his shoulders and it is very stringy and greasy. His denim jacket is covered with grease. His hands are greasy. Everything about him is greasy. Across from him in the booth is a teenage boy with a mohawk. I hesitate. They are at a booth. They have seen me. Do I sit next to Grease Man, who is so filthy that I wouldn't be surprised to see a roach crawl out of his sleeve? Do I sit next to Mohawk Boy? WTF???? I really wanted to just turn and RUN. I vow that I will make a graceful exit as soon as humanly possible.

I sit next to Grease Man, on the very edge of the booth, almost off the seat. Mohawk Boy is introduced as his son. We are having small talk, order our food. Grease Man asks me how the house hunting is going. I talk about a few I've looked at. Mohawk Boy pipes in "There's a really nice double wide in our park you should look at!" (Yes, for those who wondered where the term 'trailer trash' came from in the 16 year old marrying the 51 y/o thread.. that's where). Mohawk Boy and Grease Man are telling me about the "Weird Son" who lives with his mom. Weird Son plays the piano and is a straight A student and they just don't understand him. He is Weird.

Grease Man starts telling me about the day that Mohawk Boy came home with the mohawk and how angry he was. I said, diplomatically "I worked on the adolescent psych unit at Local Hospital up until May and trust me, if the worst thing he's done is gotten a mohawk, he's doing alright." Grease Man's face lights up. Mohawk Boy's face lights up. Grease Man says "You worked at Local Hospital? Mohawk Boy was there!" I groan inwardly. I worked the outpatient unit. Mohawk Boy starts telling me about his inpatient stay, in February. I had left in May. I mention that I worked the day treatment program on the other side of the locked door. Mohawk Boy starts bragging about his time at Local Hospital, telling me about he and Most Aggressive Patient Ever started a riot on midnight shift once. The light goes on in my head. This was the Worst Ever Riot on the inpatient adolescent unit which led to a week long lock down. Three nurses and a security guard had been injured during said riot. A former patient isn't always a bad thing.. could be one of the withdrawn, depressed, suicidal kids. Could be one of the kids who was truly motivated to make changes in his life and did well in therapy. Most of the kids were NOT bad kids, but good kids in BAD circumstances. Most of the kids made positive changes.

Not this kid, sitting across from me BRAGGING about injuring staff.. my co-workers.. people who were passionate about helping kids make positive changes in their lives.

I exited as quickly as possible after dinner. I blocked Grease Man from Yahoo Messenger. I almost gave up online personals forever... almost.

[AGDee]

*bump* y'all begged me to post and then nobody responded? LOL j/k

[southbymidwest]

Maybe it's because we were rendered speechless/typeless from imagining uber-icky Grease Guy and Son? Dirt, grease, cockroaches, violent braggart sons? Shudder.

[ElieM]

OMG.... ick.

That is all

[christiangirl]

WHY AM I JUST NOW SEEING THIS???

Mohawk Boy reminds me of some of my patients. I'm mad at him by default. And Greasy Man.....eeeewww.....eeeeeeeeewwwwww!!!!!!!!!! At the whole situation! That was truly awful!

Though I won't meet anyone from PoF unless they have a picture. It's not vanity--I want to be positive I don't end up matching with an old patient!