I agree (at least in part) with what the posters above me are saying (33girl, als, Gusteau) - so much of a girl's experience joining a sorority as an upperclassmen would depend on the girl (outgoing or shy), the school (traditional or non-traditional student body), the chapter (large or small/housed or unhoused), and the pledge class (all freshman save the one upperclassmen or decent mix). It isn't safe to make generalizations about how that girl will feel about her experience.
Having said that, in defense of AGDee, I didn't get the impression she was saying that a girl who joined as an upperclassmen wouldn't enjoy their experience or love their sorority - just that they wouldn't have quite the same experience or rather as much of that experience as a freshman, so they COULD come away feeling disappointed.
I don't think this means they shouldn't rush - just that they should know that depending on all the factors mentioned, there are things they MIGHT miss out on that a typical freshman wouldn't, and they need to be aware of that or they may find themselves frustrated.
As Gusteau pointed out, we can only go from our own experience, and I can only go from my daughter's. From her perspective, I understand completely what AGDee is saying. She loves her sorority and she loves her sisters (most of the time
), but when she joined she was a second quarter sophomore by credits and a junior by age. When she finishes school, she will have been there 2 1/2 years.
She's been involved and she's held a leadership position. She's made good friends. She plans on staying involved with her sorority after college. But does she feel like she would have had a more complete experience had she joined as a freshman? Yes.
She knows that there are things she missed and will miss out on. She's getting to live in next year, but it will only be for 2 quarters and last year she didn't think she would get to live in ever. She regrets not getting to live in a full year, and she would have regretted it more had she not gotten to live in at all.
As I said, she's made good friends, but she didn't find them immediately, and she would like to have another year and a half to spend with them to really solidify those friendships.
She loved her leadership position this year, but there are several others she would like to have tried in addition to it (she would like to have run for a position on Panhellenic), and there just won't be time to do that.
And yes, there were times (not many, but some) when she felt like she was paying a lot of dues for some significant experiences she would never have (living in primarily).
Again, she loves her sorority, but she does wish she had more time with it. Granted, maybe she would have ended up like one of the freshman 33girl mentions - chomping at the bit to get out and get away from everyone, but it doesn't feel that way to her right now.
She had a really good experience - a lot of great things came out of it for her, but it hasn't been quite the same experience it would have been if she had started out as a freshman.
Hybrid Mode
