How not to write a personal ad...

[christiangirl]

*bump*

Okay, I decided to go back on the PoF circuit. I'm going into it just as an outlet to cyber-mingle and figured it should provide some good laughs at least. I've been searching for this thread since I got on because WOW this is entertaining. I present to you the profile du jour:

IF YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO HAS HER sh*tTOGETHER AND YOU ARE TIRED OF MEETING DUDES WHO ARE FAKES, LIARS, & LAMES THAT PLAY GAMES, LOOK NO MORE BECAUSE YOU ARE READING THE RIGHT PROFILE.


MY NAME IS A******* (BUT YOU CAN CALL ME "MR. ROMANTIC") THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO VIEW MY PROFILE. ( I TAKE IT SOMETHING ABOUT ME CAUGHT YOUR ATTENTION.) I AM LOOKING TO BECOME UN-SINGLE BY A THICK, BEAUTIFUL, WHITE, MIXED OR LATINA WOMAN WHO IS LOOKING FOR (ME), A GOOD BLACK MAN WHO LOVES THE KIDS, HAS HIS sh*tTOGETHER, OWN PLACE, JOB, CAR, NICE BODY, FUN & EXCITING AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, NON ABUSIVE, (PHYSICALLY OR VERBALLY.) I AM LOOKING TO MEET A WOMAN ON HERE WHO IS ATTRACTIVE, SMART, HAS A NICE,BIG, JUICY ASS, LOVES TO COOK WITH AND/OR FOR HER MAN, IS A CHEF IN THE KITCHEN, A WOMAN IN PUBLIC AND A FREAK IN THE BEDROOM. (IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT SEX WITH ME, I JUST LIKE WHAT I LIKE.) I AM A REALLY GOOD GUY WHO IS REAL, DOESN'T LIE OR PLAY GAMES AND KNOWS HOW TO TREAT, RESPECT & PROTECT MY WOMAN. (MY ACTIONS WILL SPEAK LOUDER THAN MY WORDS, GUARANTEED.) IF YOU ARE THE WOMAN I END UP MEETING OFF HERE, I WOULD LIKE THE SAME TREATMENT IN RETURN. I AM REALLY ATTRACTED TO WOMEN WHO ARE FUN & EXCITING, (LIKE ME!) DRAMA FREE, VERY INDEPENDENT, NOT NEEDY, DOESN'T SMOKE CIGARETTES (YUK!!) AND IS EASY ON THE LIQUOR. (I GET MY DRINK ON TOO!) FITNESS IS IMPORTANT TO ME THEREFORE, MY WOMAN CANNOT BE FAT, SLOPPY & WAY OUTTA SHAPE (I AM AWARE NO ONE IS PERFECT, I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO BE, IT'S THE EFFORT OF GETTING/STAYING IN SHAPE I WILL APPRECIATE.) ARE YOU REAL AND ONE-OF-A-KIND GIRL? DO YOU LOVE TO GIVE YOUR MAN ATTENTION EITHER BY YOU COMING TO VISIT OR CALLING AND/OR TEXTING BECAUSE I HAVE LOTS OF ATTENTION TO GIVE YOU AS WELL. (NOPE, NOT CLINGY, JUST ENOUGH TO LET YOU KNOW I CARE ABOUT YOU.) IF YOU THINK YOU QUALIFY FOR A GOOD BROTHA LIKE MYSELF, INBOX AWAY!


I'M THE DIAMOND IN THE DIRT THAT HASN'T BEEN FOUND. I'M LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO WILL ALWAYS BE DOWN. I TREAT MY LADY RIGHT YOU CAN CHECK MY FILE. GUARANTEED, THE WAY I PLEASE YOU WILL ALWAYS SMILE. YOU WANT MY NUMBER DONTCHU? YOU JUST DIAL. I'M YOUR BREATH OF FRESH AIR YOU WILL SOON SEE HOW. HIT DADDY UP, I'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE.

NOT CONCEITED, BUT WORD ON THE STREETS IS REAL FINE. IF YOU DISAGREE YOU MUST BE BLIND.