Honor Student Pistol Whips Mom to Sign for Used Car

[agzg]

I think she should turn this into admissions essays for grad schools.

"How I got into several Ivy League colleges early, OR, How I spent my summer vacation."

"When I was a senior in high school, I was the smartest person that ever lived. My unique drive and determination in getting what I want allowed me to be admitted and have full scholarships to every single Ivy League School Ever (except Penn, because that place sucks, amirite?). This was never more on display than the time my bitch of a mom wouldn't cosign my loan for a used Nissan. So, determined to get what I want, I pistol whipped her into signing. If the salesman had stopped me, I'd have pistol whipped that bitch, too."

Step 1: Gain admission into undergrad.
Step 2: Pistol whip mother.
Step 3: ?????
Step 4: PROFIT!