The Rules According to a Fraternity "Cocksman"

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by Regina.George

No matter who wrote it, I'm surprised there are so many women who are shocked that there are plenty of guys who think and talk this way. Most of them are just careful enough not to put it in an email.

They still put it on t-shirts and sweatshirts though, saw one in the super market where my whole gender was termed as someone to be paid for sex. It was from a chapter I thought had better judgment than that, can't say that it didn't make me think a bit less of their current membership. The person sporting it is a current member living in house, so it wasn't a former member, alumnus, or non member wearing a cast off.

I figure if the membership as a whole decides to put it on clothing and wear it, it lets everyone know how they think and feel and we can interact (or not) accordingly.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

They still put it on t-shirts and sweatshirts though, saw one in the super market where my whole gender was termed as someone to be paid for sex. It was from a chapter I thought had better judgment than that, can't say that it didn't make me think a bit less of their current membership. The person sporting it is a current member living in house, so it wasn't a former member, alumnus, or non member wearing a cast off.

I figure if the membership as a whole decides to put it on clothing and wear it, it lets everyone know how they think and feel and we can interact (or not) accordingly.

The message here is that undergrads need to be conscious that their organization is a brand, and as a brand, it has a certain image. If they want to get quality members, their image needs to be such that those individuals will be attracted to the organization. If they want to get men who will disrespect women, sounds like that particular group can just keep on keepin' on.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by Kevin

The message here is that undergrads need to be conscious that their organization is a brand, and as a brand, it has a certain image. If they want to get quality members, their image needs to be such that those individuals will be attracted to the organization. If they want to get men who will disrespect women, sounds like that particular group can just keep on keepin' on.

I will admit my own bias came into this as it really was from a fraternity where I know alumni and just wouldn't expect them to seriously make those types of clothing design. Sure there's a lot of joking and ridiculous not to be taken serious outrageous ideas that never leave the privacy of the group, but I found it even stranger since IFC decided a few years ago to not have parties or themes with women as hoes and such. I've seen clothing that allude to groups and if you're from this campus you would know who they are, but aren't outright the names and letters of an organization. Now with instant publishing with digital cameras and social media one poorly thought t-shirt design may haunt a group for a long time.

I continue to be confused by the women in sororities who play into the party themes of being prostitutes and sex objects. Why would I go to the party where it is made clear my place there is someone who is used for sex and seen not as a person, when the women who founded our organizations fought so hard for education and to be taken seriously. Maybe it is how I was raised, my personal values, or high self esteem but I managed to never attend any party with a theme that degraded women, or any other group of people who may have, or still are marginalized. I'm still waiting for an invite to 33girl's "Federal Express" party where the guys line up by package size and delivery time

I also saw this story as a headline, and immediately thought the USC further from me since the author referred to himself as a cocksman, and the University of South Carolina mascot is the Gamecock. There's also a Kappa Sigma chapter there. Maybe he was also perping crew, and meant coxswain?

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I continue to be confused by the women in sororities who play into the party themes of being prostitutes and sex objects. Why would I go to the party where it is made clear my place there is someone who is used for sex and seen not as a person, when the women who founded our organizations fought so hard for education and to be taken seriously.

No comment on your organization's ideals, those may ultimately be incompatible with what I'm about to say, but I'm not sure that these women who do attend these parties and play into these themes are necessarily anti-feminist. Heck--they're exhibiting a lack of sexual inhibition, freedom and power, if nothing else. Or at least that's one possible interpretation. And of course, many of the women attending these events, in many cases, will be GDI, so the founders' values concept really doesn't apply.

Maybe it is how I was raised, my personal values, or high self esteem but I managed to never attend any party with a theme that degraded women, or any other group of people who may have, or still are marginalized. I'm still waiting for an invite to 33girl's "Federal Express" party where the guys line up by package size and delivery time

Maybe you're placing too much emphasis on the theme and too little on how people behave? The later is just as important as the former.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Heck--they're exhibiting sexual inhibition, freedom and power, if nothing else. Or at least that's one possible interpretation.

That's exactly how some feminists view it. There are different waves of feminism, and feminists with different views, for a reason.

That goes with the notion that there isn't one way that women should act. If some women want to act wild at parties and participate in themes that others deem degrading, those women are not automatically lacking self-esteem or anti-feminist, especially if they consider themselves knowledgeable and willing participants of a consenting age.

Did I and would I ever attend those parties? No, I think they're stupid for a number of reasons. But, I do plenty of other things that some women and men consider non-womanly/non-feminine and some feminists consider non-feminist.

[33girl]

I will say that the one time I went to a "pimps and hos" or anything slightly related mixer (I forget exactly what we called it), it was with a fraternity we were all very familiar and comfy with. I'm pretty sure no one would have done it with a group we were unsure of or didn't know well. And when I look back on it...we really weren't wearing any less than we usually did (maybe we piled on the makeup a bit) or behaving any differently.

The time I think this is v.v. bad is when a sorority or fraternity suggests this theme with a group that they feel they were "lucky" to get a mixer with...that is above them in the social pecking order...so they can have somewhat of an excuse for behaving, well, like pimps and/or hos.