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Welcome to our newest member, Harris Τ |
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02-25-2011, 04:39 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1
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Friends with benefits?
I have been hooking up with a guy for about 2 months now. From my perspective, what we have is just a "friends with benefits" type of thing.
However, every time we hook up he gets very snuggly and cuddly and lovey-dovey, and he begs me to spend the night with him. He kisses me on the face when I am asleep, cuddles with me all night, cooks me breakfast, and we have really in-depth conversations about our lives, etc.
The thing is, he never contacts me about hooking up -- I am always the one initiating our time together. He always responds very eagerly, but then he never texts me first. I see him around campus frequently, and I catch him looking at me, but he rarely says hi.
I am trying to figure out if he sees me as more than just a hook-up buddy- any advice?
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02-25-2011, 04:41 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 14,144
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*does side bends and sit-ups*
*doesn't lose butt*
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02-25-2011, 04:48 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,291
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZTA_girl
I have been hooking up with a guy for about 2 months now. From my perspective, what we have is just a "friends with benefits" type of thing.
However, every time we hook up he gets very snuggly and cuddly and lovey-dovey, and he begs me to spend the night with him. He kisses me on the face when I am asleep, cuddles with me all night, cooks me breakfast, and we have really in-depth conversations about our lives, etc.
The thing is, he never contacts me about hooking up -- I am always the one initiating our time together. He always responds very eagerly, but then he never texts me first. I see him around campus frequently, and I catch him looking at me, but he rarely says hi.
I am trying to figure out if he sees me as more than just a hook-up buddy- any advice?
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Solution: Ask him.
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I believe in the values of friendship and fidelity to purpose
@~/~~~~
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02-25-2011, 04:55 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,137
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If he doesn't initiate hanging out and the only time he is interested in you is when you're hooking up, you're just a convenient booty call.
Sorr to burst your bubble.
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"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi
Lakers Nation.
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02-25-2011, 04:56 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Home.
Posts: 8,257
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I think what the kids call it these days is a "jump-off." Yeah, that's it.
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02-25-2011, 04:59 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 5,724
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZTA_girl
I have been hooking up with a guy for about 2 months now. From my perspective, what we have is just a "friends with benefits" type of thing.
However, every time we hook up he gets very snuggly and cuddly and lovey-dovey, and he begs me to spend the night with him. He kisses me on the face when I am asleep, cuddles with me all night, cooks me breakfast, and we have really in-depth conversations about our lives, etc.
The thing is, he never contacts me about hooking up -- I am always the one initiating our time together. He always responds very eagerly, but then he never texts me first. I see him around campus frequently, and I catch him looking at me, but he rarely says hi.
I am trying to figure out if he sees me as more than just a hook-up buddy- any advice?
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Why should he bother contacting you about hooking up when he knows you are going to come to him? That would mean more effort on his part from what he's already doing and potentially setting himself up to get his request rejected.
If his behavior is cause for your concern talk to him about it. If you are only looking for hookups and nothing else, my suggestion would be to stop hooking up with this guy because he likely cant handle a "friends with benefits" type of relationship with you. If a hookup is all you are looking for at this time, it wont be hard to find another guy on your campus willing to have free sex with no strings attached.
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Kappa Alpha Theta-Life Loyal Member
Last edited by ThetaPrincess24; 02-25-2011 at 05:04 PM.
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02-25-2011, 05:12 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,502
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You seem to have stumbled upon the worst of both worlds - a horny dude who doesn't want commitment and is willing to use you for sex, and who is also a passive wussy who wants the female to do everything.
If the sex is great, keep it up, but trust me, unless you're a dom in training, in another month this shit will have gotten OLD.
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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02-25-2011, 05:53 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 3,598
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZTA_girl
I have been hooking up with a guy for about 2 months now. From my perspective, what we have is just a "friends with benefits" type of thing.
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It seems you already know the answer.
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However, every time we hook up he gets very snuggly and cuddly and lovey-dovey, and he begs me to spend the night with him.
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I suspect he “begs” knowing he can get some action if he does so.
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He kisses me on the face when I am asleep.
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How do you know? You said you are asleep.
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...cuddles with me all night…
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Cold apartment perhaps? It is winter.
A man has to eat too. Especially after a busy night of “cuddling”.
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… and we have really in-depth conversations about our lives, etc.
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Big difference between in-depth conversations about your separate lives etc. versus your life together.
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The thing is, he never contacts me about hooking up -- I am always the one initiating our time together.
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Again, you know the reason. He does not need to contact you. Why should he?
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He always responds very eagerly,...
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You sound surprised. He is getting unsolicited booty calls and texts.
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...but then he never texts me first.
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Why should he? You are already doing all the "work" for him.
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I see him around campus frequently, and I catch him looking at me, but he rarely says hi.
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Maybe he is shy. Or perhaps he is not that into you outside of the "hook-up".
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I am trying to figure out if he sees me as more than just a hook-up buddy
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Really. If you cannot figure that out, perhaps you should re-read the bolded part of your quotes.
Enjoy it while you may. Frankly, after two months of a "friendship with benefits” situation, I doubt he is looking change his ways.
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02-25-2011, 10:43 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,502
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TSteven
Cold apartment perhaps? It is winter.
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Freakin' Sigma Chis. LOL
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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02-25-2011, 10:49 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,578
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I'm almost sad this is our troll
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From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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02-26-2011, 04:04 PM
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: in the midst of a 90s playlist
Posts: 9,816
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Now the real question is if his name is Ashton.
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"We have letters. You have dreams." ~Senusret I
"My dreams have become letters." ~christiangirl
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02-26-2011, 04:58 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 501
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^^LMAO. Where were girls like these when I was in college?
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Proud to be a Chopper since 2002!
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