GreekChat.com Forums
Celebrating 25 Years of GreekChat!

Go Back   GreekChat.com Forums > General Chat Topics > Dating & Relationships
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

» GC Stats
Members: 326,167
Threads: 115,595
Posts: 2,200,843
Welcome to our newest member, Harris Τ
» Online Users: 2,747
1 members and 2,746 guests
navane
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-25-2011, 04:39 PM
ZTA_girl ZTA_girl is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1
Friends with benefits?

I have been hooking up with a guy for about 2 months now. From my perspective, what we have is just a "friends with benefits" type of thing.

However, every time we hook up he gets very snuggly and cuddly and lovey-dovey, and he begs me to spend the night with him. He kisses me on the face when I am asleep, cuddles with me all night, cooks me breakfast, and we have really in-depth conversations about our lives, etc.

The thing is, he never contacts me about hooking up -- I am always the one initiating our time together. He always responds very eagerly, but then he never texts me first. I see him around campus frequently, and I catch him looking at me, but he rarely says hi.

I am trying to figure out if he sees me as more than just a hook-up buddy- any advice?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-25-2011, 04:41 PM
knight_shadow knight_shadow is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 14,144
__________________
*does side bends and sit-ups*
*doesn't lose butt*

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-25-2011, 04:48 PM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,291
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZTA_girl View Post
I have been hooking up with a guy for about 2 months now. From my perspective, what we have is just a "friends with benefits" type of thing.

However, every time we hook up he gets very snuggly and cuddly and lovey-dovey, and he begs me to spend the night with him. He kisses me on the face when I am asleep, cuddles with me all night, cooks me breakfast, and we have really in-depth conversations about our lives, etc.

The thing is, he never contacts me about hooking up -- I am always the one initiating our time together. He always responds very eagerly, but then he never texts me first. I see him around campus frequently, and I catch him looking at me, but he rarely says hi.

I am trying to figure out if he sees me as more than just a hook-up buddy- any advice?
Solution: Ask him.


__________________
I believe in the values of friendship and fidelity to purpose

@~/~~~~
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-25-2011, 04:55 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,137
If he doesn't initiate hanging out and the only time he is interested in you is when you're hooking up, you're just a convenient booty call.

Sorr to burst your bubble.
__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi

Lakers Nation.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-25-2011, 04:56 PM
Munchkin03 Munchkin03 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Home.
Posts: 8,257
I think what the kids call it these days is a "jump-off." Yeah, that's it.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-25-2011, 04:59 PM
ThetaPrincess24 ThetaPrincess24 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 5,724
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZTA_girl View Post
I have been hooking up with a guy for about 2 months now. From my perspective, what we have is just a "friends with benefits" type of thing.

However, every time we hook up he gets very snuggly and cuddly and lovey-dovey, and he begs me to spend the night with him. He kisses me on the face when I am asleep, cuddles with me all night, cooks me breakfast, and we have really in-depth conversations about our lives, etc.

The thing is, he never contacts me about hooking up -- I am always the one initiating our time together. He always responds very eagerly, but then he never texts me first. I see him around campus frequently, and I catch him looking at me, but he rarely says hi.

I am trying to figure out if he sees me as more than just a hook-up buddy- any advice?

Why should he bother contacting you about hooking up when he knows you are going to come to him? That would mean more effort on his part from what he's already doing and potentially setting himself up to get his request rejected.

If his behavior is cause for your concern talk to him about it. If you are only looking for hookups and nothing else, my suggestion would be to stop hooking up with this guy because he likely cant handle a "friends with benefits" type of relationship with you. If a hookup is all you are looking for at this time, it wont be hard to find another guy on your campus willing to have free sex with no strings attached.
__________________
Kappa Alpha Theta-Life Loyal Member

Last edited by ThetaPrincess24; 02-25-2011 at 05:04 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-25-2011, 05:12 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,502
You seem to have stumbled upon the worst of both worlds - a horny dude who doesn't want commitment and is willing to use you for sex, and who is also a passive wussy who wants the female to do everything.

If the sex is great, keep it up, but trust me, unless you're a dom in training, in another month this shit will have gotten OLD.
__________________
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-25-2011, 05:53 PM
TSteven TSteven is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 3,598
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZTA_girl View Post
I have been hooking up with a guy for about 2 months now. From my perspective, what we have is just a "friends with benefits" type of thing.
It seems you already know the answer.

Quote:
However, every time we hook up he gets very snuggly and cuddly and lovey-dovey, and he begs me to spend the night with him.
I suspect he “begs” knowing he can get some action if he does so.

Quote:
He kisses me on the face when I am asleep.
How do you know? You said you are asleep.

Quote:
...cuddles with me all night…
Cold apartment perhaps? It is winter.

Quote:
… cooks me breakfast,…
A man has to eat too. Especially after a busy night of “cuddling”.

Quote:
… and we have really in-depth conversations about our lives, etc.
Big difference between in-depth conversations about your separate lives etc. versus your life together.

Quote:
The thing is, he never contacts me about hooking up -- I am always the one initiating our time together.
Again, you know the reason. He does not need to contact you. Why should he?

Quote:
He always responds very eagerly,...
You sound surprised. He is getting unsolicited booty calls and texts.

Quote:
...but then he never texts me first.
Why should he? You are already doing all the "work" for him.

Quote:
I see him around campus frequently, and I catch him looking at me, but he rarely says hi.
Maybe he is shy. Or perhaps he is not that into you outside of the "hook-up".

Quote:
I am trying to figure out if he sees me as more than just a hook-up buddy
Really. If you cannot figure that out, perhaps you should re-read the bolded part of your quotes.

Quote:
Any advice?
Enjoy it while you may. Frankly, after two months of a "friendship with benefits” situation, I doubt he is looking change his ways.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 02-25-2011, 10:43 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,502
Quote:
Originally Posted by TSteven View Post
Cold apartment perhaps? It is winter.
Freakin' Sigma Chis. LOL
__________________
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 02-25-2011, 10:49 PM
Drolefille Drolefille is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,578
I'm almost sad this is our troll
__________________
From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 02-26-2011, 04:04 PM
christiangirl christiangirl is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: in the midst of a 90s playlist
Posts: 9,816
Now the real question is if his name is Ashton.

__________________
"We have letters. You have dreams." ~Senusret I

"My dreams have become letters." ~christiangirl
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 02-26-2011, 04:58 PM
sanjiyan69 sanjiyan69 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 501
Send a message via AIM to sanjiyan69
^^LMAO. Where were girls like these when I was in college?
__________________
Proud to be a Chopper since 2002!

ΛΧΑ

My facebook
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
“Friends with benefits” hoosier Dating & Relationships 37 10-28-2005 10:53 PM
Poll: Large group of friends or a couple close friends Rudey Chit Chat 12 08-16-2005 03:06 PM
IFC Benefits Rudey Greek Life 14 10-01-2002 02:02 AM
Benefits of being a TKE PotentialPledge Tau Kappa Epsilon 5 07-15-2002 12:01 PM
benefits 4seasons Delta Sigma Theta 1 04-12-2002 04:04 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:10 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.