Rejected Candidate and Prominent Family Member at Institution

[KSUViolet06]

Did you think you were a shoe-in because of your "prominent" family?

Fraternities can sense if someone has that type of attitude.

[excelblue]

Gut feeling's usually the right feeling.

Here's the thing: most successful fraternities do value academics and limits, but you have to be a good fit for the group.

It's OK to not drink as long as you don't look down on others for drinking or hold a pretentious attitude about it. The same applies for smoking.

Likewise, it's actually great to have solid academics, but it's not cool when you flash the card as if you're better than everyone else. Saying "honors dorm" sounds kind of pretentious; I imagine there would have been some more appropriate way to put it (eg. ... Hall).

The part about not enough people knowing you may also be true; perhaps you weren't being social enough to meet everyone during rush.

However, it all comes down to: the most important part is that you fit in. People have to like you for you to fit in. Just because you're a legacy doesn't mean that you're a shoo-in.

[Macintosh]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Did you think you were a shoe-in because of your "prominent" family?

Fraternities can sense if someone has that type of attitude.

Actually no. I felt I was a "shoe-in" because not only did I know many of the brothers (plus two that are alumni) but because they gave me a warm reception of coming out to hang, and overall chill with them. Then the closest brother that I knew, decided to leave the university because his grades were too low (and thus could not re-enter the program), which may have also played a key part in the no-bid.

Afterwards, when I didn't get the bid, for Bid day they gave me a weird almost isolation feel, but since then have come back to normal.

To redefine what I meant, this family member didn't join any Greek Life Organization, but they do hold a significant position at the institute I'm attending.

@excelblue: When he asked, I said *** hall which people know as a honors dorm.

Thanks for everyone giving me some proper insight.

[excelblue]

Perhaps you just weren't the right fit.

For example, while I am extremely close to the brothers in my fraternity, I also have several close friends that are not in my fraternity. They chill with me and are cool to hang out with, but the relationship just doesn't have certain important elements that are necessary for brotherhood. In particular, it's the parts about having a similar mindset, holding values consistent with my fraternity's ritual, and just simply being on the same wavelength.

Brotherhood is quite different from friendship, even though a lot of elements are shared. I'm not exactly sure how to quantify it, but your gut feeling will give a very definite answer. I personally joined my fraternity since my gut feeling strongly said "yes" even though I was originally extremely uncomfortable about the idea and remained that way until a week after I was pinned.

So, basically, tune down the smug attitude (whether or not you intend it, it's a strong vibe in your posts) and start looking at other fraternities. Good luck!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Macintosh

Actually no. I felt I was a "shoe-in" because...

^ This is what's wrong right here. It doesn’t matter what you followed this with.. you should never have assumed you’d receive a bid for ANY reason.

Nothing in life is guaranteed.