Transferring colleges?

[texaslonghorn03]

I'm not saying that it is the only way to find my place on campus, there are spirit groups and stuff on campus that I have tried out for also, and those are super competitive and I haven't gotten into them either. I know that Greek life isn't the only way to have a fulfilling experience on campus, but even in my other clubs (because I am in other clubs and organizations), I'm friends with mostly the Greeks, because those are the people I tend to get along with.

I know it sounds bad, like I'm rude or hideous or something, but like honestly, (I promise I'm not conceited), I'm pretty, I'm funny, outgoing, very easy-going person. I have a 3.5, I was in 4 other organizations, one of which I was an officer in, active in my church youth group.

The friends I made last year that are in sororities told me I had really really good chances of getting a bid this year, one of those girls is now my roommate, and during rush, she told me I was one of their top girls. I know here it's very hard to rush if you aren't a freshman, so I don't know if that contributed to it, but like when I find out I got cut, they were all just kind of in disbelief. I know that those decisions don't rely on just one person in the house, but through them (and I'm referring to my roommates sorority specifically), I met about half the chapter, and they would all come up to me and say hi during recruitment. In other ones, my friends came up and talked to me as well. I'm not rude or socially awkward or snappy or anything, I truly don't understand.

I was cut after the second day, I got invited back to 3 parties after day 1 (which is not very many) and then completely dropped after day 2. I didn't skip parties or anything like that.

I'm not really sure what else to say, and I'm not looking for somebody to comfort me about it, but I just feel like I don't have that close group of people that I really want. No matter where I find them, whether it be a GLO or not, I just am having a lot of trouble here at my very large university.

Also, when I decided to go here, I picked it last minute without ever thinking it through (like I chose it, applied, and was accepted in about 2 weeks, and was attending 2 months later because I graduated high school a semester early and started in the spring of 2009) so I never got to do the whole go on college trips and decide where I want to be thing, and I kind of regret that.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by texaslonghorn03

I'm not saying that it is the only way to find my place on campus, there are spirit groups and stuff on campus that I have tried out for also, and those are super competitive and I haven't gotten into them either.

>> Perhaps socially based organizations might not be a good fit for you. People find friends in every place imaginable - classes, formal clubs, on the bus or train on their way to work everyday. Get to know people who you encounter on a regular basis (floor mate, people in your major, service/charity events, campus entertainment (concerts, drama student productions, weekly movies, etc.).

I know that Greek life isn't the only way to have a fulfilling experience on campus, but even in my other clubs (because I am in other clubs and organizations),

>> But you are considering transferring to another school on the pretense that you will have an easier time getting a bid.

I'm friends with mostly the Greeks, because those are the people I tend to get along with.

>> Make friends or further develop friendships with people in other areas of your life. Maybe you are subconsciously making friendships based on the hope of gaining allies during recruitment.

I know it sounds bad, like I'm rude or hideous or something, but like honestly, (I promise I'm not conceited), I'm pretty, I'm funny, outgoing, very easy-going person.

>> You are making an assumption that those subjective qualities are all that matter, or are the most important elements of Greek membership. Or perhaps suggesting that Greek members are on a higher plane and more worthy of your friendship or efforts.

I have a 3.5, I was in 4 other organizations, one of which I was an officer in, active in my church youth group.

The friends I made last year that are in sororities told me I had really really good chances of getting a bid this year,

>> But, you didn't. Plus, NO ONE can tell you with any level of certainty that you have a "really good chance...this year".

one of those girls is now my roommate, and during rush, she told me I was one of their top girls.

>> Again, NO ONE can tell you that you are one of their "top girls". Having a roommate in a sorority really doesn't mean much, especially if chapters and the PNM pools are large. Don't forget that having that type of discussion might be against private membership selection information. Lastly, if you were one of the top prospects, you would have been asked back to the next round.

I know here it's very hard to rush if you aren't a freshman, so I don't know if that contributed to it, but like when I find out I got cut, they were all just kind of in disbelief.

>> I am sure that "all" is a generalization. The "disbelief" sounds like someone is being polite and trying to let you down easily.

I know that those decisions don't rely on just one person in the house, but through them (and I'm referring to my roommates sorority specifically), I met about half the chapter, and they would all come up to me and say hi during recruitment.

>> That's part of the process.

In other ones, my friends came up and talked to me as well. I'm not rude or socially awkward or snappy or anything, I truly don't understand.

I was cut after the second day, I got invited back to 3 parties after day 1 (which is not very many) and then completely dropped after day 2. I didn't skip parties or anything like that.

I'm not really sure what else to say, and I'm not looking for somebody to comfort me about it, but I just feel like I don't have that close group of people that I really want. No matter where I find them, whether it be a GLO or not, I just am having a lot of trouble here at my very large university.

>> That is understandable, but midway through your third semester, I'd imagine that you have started to find activities and groups of people with similar interests or situations (clubs, dorms, religious affiliation, etc.). When you say you "were" in four activities and "was" president of one, are you saying you are no longer participating in anything?

Also, when I decided to go here, I picked it last minute without ever thinking it through (like I chose it, applied, and was accepted in about 2 weeks,

>> Hindsight is 20/20. I see a parallel between your wanting to transfer just because you want to try to get into a sorority at a less competitive school, and this admission of rushing into things or making snap judgment. Just going off what you tell us.

and was attending 2 months later because I graduated high school a semester early and started in the spring of 2009) so I never got to do the whole go on college trips and decide where I want to be thing, and I kind of regret that.

>> You need to give things time and effort. Out of the tens of thousands of students at your school, I'm sure that most people find a way to be fulfilled socially, whether it's through Greek life, social clubs, the arts, political or religious beliefs. etc. You need to make the most of the options you DO have, not obsessing over what you don't have.

I'm not sure what you are looking for here. I don't think that people will support or validate your decision to transfer simply because you had two failed recruitments and think that going elsewhere will give you a better chance of getting a bid. I'm trying to be straightforward with you, and do empathize with your disappointment.

Good luck.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by texaslonghorn03

I'm not saying that it is the only way to find my place on campus, there are spirit groups and stuff on campus that I have tried out for also, and those are super competitive and I haven't gotten into them either. I know that Greek life isn't the only way to have a fulfilling experience on campus, but even in my other clubs (because I am in other clubs and organizations), I'm friends with mostly the Greeks, because those are the people I tend to get along with.

I know it sounds bad, like I'm rude or hideous or something, but like honestly, (I promise I'm not conceited), I'm pretty, I'm funny, outgoing, very easy-going person. I have a 3.5, I was in 4 other organizations, one of which I was an officer in, active in my church youth group.

The friends I made last year that are in sororities told me I had really really good chances of getting a bid this year, one of those girls is now my roommate, and during rush, she told me I was one of their top girls. I know here it's very hard to rush if you aren't a freshman, so I don't know if that contributed to it, but like when I find out I got cut, they were all just kind of in disbelief. I know that those decisions don't rely on just one person in the house, but through them (and I'm referring to my roommates sorority specifically), I met about half the chapter, and they would all come up to me and say hi during recruitment. In other ones, my friends came up and talked to me as well. I'm not rude or socially awkward or snappy or anything, I truly don't understand.

I was cut after the second day, I got invited back to 3 parties after day 1 (which is not very many) and then completely dropped after day 2. I didn't skip parties or anything like that.

I'm not really sure what else to say, and I'm not looking for somebody to comfort me about it, but I just feel like I don't have that close group of people that I really want. No matter where I find them, whether it be a GLO or not, I just am having a lot of trouble here at my very large university.

Also, when I decided to go here, I picked it last minute without ever thinking it through (like I chose it, applied, and was accepted in about 2 weeks, and was attending 2 months later because I graduated high school a semester early and started in the spring of 2009) so I never got to do the whole go on college trips and decide where I want to be thing, and I kind of regret that.

First, LadyLonghorn's post explains the system at your school very well, so that's something you should read and absorb. Beyond that, your roommate probably does feel like you'd be a good fit, and many of your other friends might, too. But that's just not always enough, especially at a large, competitive recruitment. I can imagine you're frustrated, but keep trying to make friends in the clubs you've joined. It's possible to find a close group of friends on a large campus without a sorority, for sure.

It sounds like you might want to consider looking at smaller schools. Some people aren't cut out for the huge campuses...I wasn't. Large campuses would likely have overwhelmed me and it was easier to find a place at a small school. (And even if I hadn't gone Greek, I'm confident I would have found a group to join on my campus that would have made me happy. We have many options, as do most campuses.) I did not apply to any large schools and that was the right decision for me. If you think this might be part of your problem, keep your GPA up and spend some time researching small schools that can meet your academic needs. If you are already in your major program, make sure whatever school you're looking at has a strong department in that area. Check out what clubs and groups they offer...and not just in the Greek department. If you're on scholarship, factor in the budgetary changes you'll need to make. Research carefully this time.

All that being said, don't transfer from a good school (and you are at a good school) just because of this. If you find a school that you think is a better fit for you and you can transfer with no major problems, fine. Just don't let this one thing send you running.