Cyberbullying - Page 4

als463 · #46 10-13-2010, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agzg

Idk - I don't live in Colorado. It made national news.

A lot of people get their news on GC (thanks to posters like DS who troll news sites all day for interestion stuff - seriously - I don't believe him when he says he has some sort of job other than that, I think John is paying him) but I wasn't about to start yet another thread about rape.

You could start a thread, though. It would be a good topic, if you were willing.

agzg · #47 10-13-2010, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by als463

You could start a thread, though. It would be a good topic, if you were willing.

This particular topic is a little too politically and emotionally charged for a lot of posters on GC, and a little too little politically and emotionally charged for a lot of posters on GC.

It'd probably end up in closure.

Alumiyum · #48 10-13-2010, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agzg

Didn't you know? She invited him over! And she had had sex with him before! Obviously an invitation into my home is ALSO an invitation into my vagina!

Ugh. People get buyer's remorse when they get a bad haircut, or a meal they don't like in a restaurant. They don't get buyer's remorse when someone else puts their penis where it doesn't belong.

/endrant.

Oh there is buyer's remorse from sex. And there are people that take advantage of that, which is why those who are actual victims are sometimes scared to come forward, because they worry they won't be believed. That being said, it doesn't matter if she takes you home, is wearing crotchless panties, and shows you the sex tape you two made last week...if she utters one "no" or "stop", that's it. I fail to understand why this seems to be a hard concept to some people. It's just not that difficult to understand.

als463 · #49 10-13-2010, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agzg

This particular topic is a little too politically and emotionally charged for a lot of posters on GC, and a little too little politically and emotionally charged for a lot of posters on GC.

It'd probably end up in closure.

True. I feel like I derailed the thread when talking about victim-blaming but, I do think we need to consider how cyber-bullying affects people and how we shouldn't just say, "Well, they can get off that site." I'm mainly thinking about THAT SITE (you all probably know what site I am referring to) where you can post a thread about what a skank so-and-so is. It's pretty upsetting and I would be horrified if someone made a thread about me on that site. I can't even imagine.

agzg · #50 10-13-2010, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Oh there is buyer's remorse from sex. And there are people that take advantage of that, which is why those who are actual victims are sometimes scared to come forward, because they worry they won't be believed. That being said, it doesn't matter if she takes you home, is wearing crotchless panties, and shows you the sex tape you two made last week...if she utters one "no" or "stop", that's it. I fail to understand why this seems to be a hard concept to some people. It's just not that difficult to understand.

There may be buyer's remorse for sex, but there's not buyer's remorse from RAPE.

Hence the "putting a penis where it does not belong."

Alumiyum · #51 10-13-2010, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by als463

True. I feel like I derailed the thread when talking about victim-blaming but, I do think we need to consider how cyber-bullying affects people and how we shouldn't just say, "Well, they can get off that site." I'm mainly thinking about THAT SITE (you all probably know what site I am referring to) where you can post a thread about what a skank so-and-so is. It's pretty upsetting and I would be horrified if someone made a thread about me on that site. I can't even imagine.

Is it still there? I thought it didn't exist anymore...

als463 · #52 10-13-2010, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Is it still there? I thought it didn't exist anymore...

Oh, it is. In fact, it goes by a different name. If you want, I can pm you the site name. I just don't want to give it any recognition on this site.

Alumiyum · #53 10-13-2010, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agzg

There may be buyer's remorse for sex, but there's not buyer's remorse from RAPE.

Hence the "putting a penis where it does not belong."

Yes, my point was that some people call it rape when it's not, something I have no sympathy for. Obviously, actual rape is a different story since the whole concept is having contact that you DO NOT want (or ask for, since "she came on to me"/"she dressed slutty"/"we did it before" seems to so often be the "excuse" the rapist comes up with).

Quote:

Originally Posted by als463

Oh, it is. In fact, it goes by a different name. If you want, I can pm you the site name. I just don't want to give it any recognition on this site.

I guess I missed that...but nah, I don't even want to look it it. It just pisses me off.

agzg · #54 10-13-2010, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Is it still there? I thought it didn't exist anymore...

There are a multitude of sites based on the same premise.

On the cyberbullying thing - I do think there's a bit of a difference between types of cyberbullying. For example, starting a thread like "SALLY IS A WHORE!" is different than starting a thread like "SALLY IS A WHORE, CALL HER AND TELL HER, HER NUMBER IS 555.0812, HER EMAIL IS sallyisa@whore.edu, HER HOME ADDRESS IS 515 Hooker Ave" etc.

agzg · #55 10-13-2010, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Yes, my point was that some people call it rape when it's not, something I have no sympathy for. Obviously, actual rape is a different story since the whole concept is having contact that you DO NOT want (or ask for, since "she came on to me"/"she dressed slutty"/"we did it before" seems to so often be the "excuse" the rapist comes up with).

I don't like it when people bring this up. Obviously there's some false reporting going on with any crime. The problem is, the number of cases that are reported and have actually happened (and subsequently are dismissed for lack of evidence) far far outweigh the number of false reports.

Also, it should be pointed out that many many of the cases that get dismissed in rape are not dismissed because it was proven that it didn't happen - it's just really easy to blame the victim and not be able to prove that it did happen.

I'm a firm believer that all rape cases should be taken seriously, particularly due to the sheer number of rape cases that go unreported and how very hard it is to come forward (even when police do have strong evidence of rape many times the victim does not want to come forward for many different reasons).

There was a workshop on my campus one year while I was in undergrad that reported that 1 in 4 women has been raped - I'll need to look and see if I can find where they got that.

This doesn't even get into cases of the rape of men, which is an even more seriously under-reported crime.

Rape isn't about sex, it's about power (so is bullying and cyberbullying). By letting false reports outweigh (in our mind) actual legitimate cases of rape, we're giving rapists even more power.

Also, please to not forget the initial reports of actual rape that are rescinded by the victim because of the unintended consequences of reporting the rape, including shaming, victim blaming, and retaliation.

DrPhil · #56 10-13-2010, 11:30 AM

I'm so confused.

knight_shadow · #57 10-13-2010, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agzg

There are a multitude of sites based on the same premise.

On the cyberbullying thing - I do think there's a bit of a difference between types of cyberbullying. For example, starting a thread like "SALLY IS A WHORE!" is different than starting a thread like "SALLY IS A WHORE, CALL HER AND TELL HER, HER NUMBER IS 555.0812, HER EMAIL IS sallyisa@whore.edu, HER HOME ADDRESS IS 515 Hooker Ave" etc.

Whore.edu? Grad school, here I come.

Tangent: Seriously, this type of thing baffles me. When I was an undergrad, but school was transitioning from "commuter school" to "traditional school," but we still had a great deal of non-traditional students. Sure, there were times that people would say "I can't stand Sally. I hear she's a slut" but it didn't seem to go any farther. It makes me sick that college students would go to those lengths in order to bully someone.

als463 · #58 10-13-2010, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I'm so confused.

Yeah, we went from cyberbullying to rape. It's because of a comment I made about "victim-blaming."

Alumiyum · #59 10-13-2010, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agzg

There are a multitude of sites based on the same premise.

On the cyberbullying thing - I do think there's a bit of a difference between types of cyberbullying. For example, starting a thread like "SALLY IS A WHORE!" is different than starting a thread like "SALLY IS A WHORE, CALL HER AND TELL HER, HER NUMBER IS 555.0812, HER EMAIL IS sallyisa@whore.edu, HER HOME ADDRESS IS 515 Hooker Ave" etc.

If her name and some other identifying information (last name, residence, sorority...something that would make it clear who the girl in question is), that's no different than posting her phone number. It's still cyberbullying. She'll have that follow her, and her potential employers will see it, her family will see it...etc. The internet is a part of our lives whether we like it or not, and when it effects real life (like the job example), that's over the line. I think the problem is a combination of people not understanding the impact it will have (especially for teens and younger kids), not caring, and not facing repercussions. I do hope we get better protection legally from this sort of behavior soon. That might help deter the "I don't care" set from spreading their horribleness.

DrPhil · #60 10-13-2010, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by als463

Yeah, we went from cyberbullying to rape. It's because of a comment I made about "victim-blaming."

Thanks for that summary.