A (Not Quite) Retro Recruitment to help pass your day...

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I didn't realize that the BBT names would be so well-accepted! No one else I know watches the show, so all of this discussion is quite a surprise!

Philanthropy Round
This is where my experience is unlike any other that I’ve ever heard of. Rather than attending each sorority’s chapter room in the sorority hall, all of the PNMs met in a room in the university’s student center and stood at large tables around the room putting together care packages for the local women’s shelter. Then, throughout the party sorority actives walked around the room and introduced themselves and chatted us up. Looking back, I think it wasn’t a terrible idea, it was just really poorly executed, and my story is a great example of why, and I think this was the only year my school did this.

My PX group and I stood at table number two and began assembling care packages. A few minutes later the sororities came in. Table two was close to the door, so many of the actives stopped at our table right away. I don’t remember who approached me first, but I do remember that it was awkward. And though the active was very kind, I would parallel the interaction to being hit on at a bar (“So, hey, how are you doing”). We spoke for a few more minutes and then Marti’s friend Sarah Beth, who was a Sheldon, came to my table. We talked about our hometown, class, recruitment, mutual friends (we had quite a few) and Sheldon. She was very obviously proud to be a Sheldon, and that got me excited about the prospect of becoming a Sheldon too! A short time later Sarah Beth was joined by a sister whom she introduced as Claire, her “best friend in the whole wide world”. We chatted for a few more minutes about Sheldon, and then Sarah Beth informed me that Claire and I shared a mutual hatred for a girl Sarah Beth and I had gone to school with. (Girls are so fun aren’t they?) Claire and I spent the rest of the Philanthropy night talking about this girl (and Sheldon a little). I never spoke to anyone else in any other sorority, and that (IMO) was the biggest weakness with this sort of philanthropy night. The lack of structure meant that some sororities would never make it to some PNMs whether they didn’t see them or they didn’t want to “bump” an active that wasn’t in their own sorority. But in my naïve little mind I believed that this, plus knowing Claire and Sarah Beth meant that I would for sure be a Sheldon by week’s end.

(Looking back I think a better solution would have been to have had 20 minute parties in each room, and allow for each sorority to talk about their own philanthropy, but have the actual activity be the assembling of the women’s shelter care packages. This would have guaranteed that the PNMs would meet each sorority but still be united in a Panhel-wide philanthropy effort.)

Marti, on the other hand, had spent her time talking to various members of the four sororities as well as Sarah Beth and Claire. We reconvened in our PX groups, and did another meet & greet activity. Then I left for the night with Marti. Since no cuts were made after Philanthropy round, I was excited for a chance to finally meet all of the sororities during Values Night.

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Nerve-wracking weekend/Labor Day with a carbon monoxide situation. I'm just going to keep going with this and get it done.

Values Round

Marti and I attended class the next day wearing our standard issue recruitment tee. During one of our classes while waiting for the professor to arrive, a beautiful girl walked in wearing Raj letters. She smiled brightly at us and then sat with some of her own friends. During class she was outspoken and answered questions insightfully and correctly. I remember thinking then that I would love to join Raj just to be able to associate myself with someone as cool as her.

That night we attended our first round of “real” sorority recruitment parties wearing our recruitment shirts and shorts. I would be attending the Howard party first. I stood in the middle of the line of my PX group, and waited anxiously as our PX knocked loudly on the door. At that moment all of the chatter on both sides of the door became dead silent, and then BAM! The door flew open and the loudest singing/yelling/chanting I had ever heard in my life began! We were ushered into the Howard-bedecked room, and I was picked up by a girl in a pink Howard shirt and black Capri pants. The active led me to a couch where I sat and she told me she’d be right back. Wait, what? When all of the PNMs had been seated, the Howards lined up around the edges of the room and burst in to some of the most energetic and loud songs I had ever heard. I was again, blown away! What in the world was going on? Weren’t we supposed to be talking and weren’t they supposed to be interrogating me to see if I was good enough for their sisterhood? (That’s where those dang ol’ Lifetime movies had tainted my understanding of what happened during sorority rush) I stared thunderstruck around the room, but noticed that as I did so many actives made eye-contact with me and smiled brightly as though they knew me! What was going on? After the first song someone somewhere in the room hit ‘play’ on a cd player and the music from a then-popular boy band song began. This is where the Howards temporarily lost me. Many of the other PNMs around the room were clearly enthralled by the fact that the Howards had changed the words to the song to talk about sisterhood, and watched as they be-bopped in their spots. I on the other hand was not cool with this. I wasn’t a fan of boy bands (classic rock please!) and I didn’t like that the song was soooo popular, as it was all over the radio. I had liked their original songs much better, and appreciated them because they seemed traditional and cute. Buuut, they were enthusiastic and they did keep smiling at me like they were happy to see me, so I just smiled back and waited. When the song ended my active re-joined me and we shared a fun conversation about the usual stuff: classes, recruitment, summer vacay, etc. Then another active approached and the bumping occurred. It was so seamless that oblivious Me didn’t realize what had just happened. Throughout the party other actives came up to meet me, and I was so flattered that everyone seemed to be so excited to meet me – was I really that interesting? What was so special about me that so many sorority girls would want to meet me? During the party I met an active named Brooke whom I really got on well with. We chatted naturally as though we were old friends. I really like these Howard girls! The party soon ended and my PX group and I were whisked off to our next party.

The next party I attended was Sheldon. After Howard I was really excited to see what Sheldon would do! And, the Sheldon party was very similar, though I didn’t get the impression that the Sheldons were as enthusiastic as the Howards. Rather than smiling at individuals, the girls seemed to be scanning the room. When I made eye-contact with one they would smile brightly, but I noticed that it wasn’t the case for everyone. Some girls didn’t get a bright smile, some just got what looked like a perfunctory “thanks for letting me slip by you in the movie theater aisle” smile. Hmmm. But their room was decked out in Sheldon paraphernalia, and these bright shiny objects distracted me enough to keep me from thinking about it too much more. The party continued with the same conversation and seamless bumping, but I remember that a couple of the girls I talked to were rather difficult to talk to and didn’t seem interested in what I had to say. Both Sarah Beth and Claire came by to say hi and that made me feel better. When the party ended I was sure that I wanted to be a Sheldon despite the slightly less than perfect conversation.

Next up was Leonard. Their room was filled to the brim with Leonards clapping and singing enthusiastically, and I was led to a big round table and seated while the Leonards continued singing. When the singing finished I waited to be approached by one the many Leonards around the room, but instead one active sat down at the table with four of us PNMs. We were being quadruple-rushed. I didn’t know the name for it at that time, but even then something about the 4:1 ratio didn’t strike me as a good thing. Why didn’t one of the many Leonards standing around the room come and talk to us? I found out later that the Leonards membership had declined quite a bit the previous semester and they had called on some of the wonderful Leonard alumnae to come and help with recruitment. As is typical with double, triple and quadruple rushing I didn’t have the opportunity to talk with the actives very much. Most of my conversation was lost to the louder more forceful PNM on the other side of the table. But their songs were very cute, and I really enjoyed their symbols and decorations. One of the actives that we talked to was very sweet and tried very hard to engage all four of us. I knew that I liked her and she gave me a favorable opinion of the Leonards. I left the Leonard party knowing that I would want to come back if invited.

The last party of the night was Raj, and I was really excited to see what they were going to be like. I had been so impressed by the Raj in my class that I just knew that they were going to blow the roof off the place! However, when we were led in I was really let down. The dimly-lit room was full of Rajs, but the singing was not nearly as loud as the other sororities, and it was very obvious, even to me, that there were more alumnae than actives. I scanned the room for the Raj I had seen earlier that day and found her singing and clapping. She smiled brightly at me and I returned it. When the singing stopped and the actives approached, I was paired with another PNM and we spoke to a Raj who made it known right away that she was a recent alum. She was very sweet, but I was frustrated that I wasn’t speaking to an active. She was very friendly and polite and did a great job of telling us all about the great things Rajhad to offer, as well as their philanthropy and symbols. A short time later she was bumped by an active (finally!), but this young lady looked and spoke as though she was terrified and would have preferred to be anywhere else. I remember not understanding why she was terrified. Wasn’t I the one being judged here? I thought to myself, “You’re already in a sorority. You’ve got nothing to worry about!” The conversation with our Raj was awkward and uncomfortable. I met the Raj I had seen in class (Stephanie) and found her to be as smart and out-spoken as she had been earlier that day. We were bumped a couple more times, but each of the actives we spoke to was quiet, shy and nervous. I didn’t get good vibe about this group at all, and when the party was over I was felt disappointed. Not because I didn’t want it to end, but because of how let down I felt. Stephanie had been the exception, not the rule. When I walked out the PNM I was paired with and I shared a look, and I knew I didn’t want to return the next night.

My PX group reconvened in the student center and after another meet & greet game we were asked to rank our favorites in order, with the last one being the group we’d prefer not to return to the next night. I hated to do it (because I had so wanted to like Raj), but I ranked as follows:

1. Sheldon, Howard,Leonard
2. Raj

Marti had had very similar experiences at each of the groups, and had ranked the same. We discussed our feelings about each group and agreed that we were leaning toward Sheldon and Howard, with Sheldon having the advantage, though we’d been impressed by Leonard. Raj had disappointed Marti as well, and we discussed that their chapter wasn’t a very strong one on campus, despite its national prestige. The next evening was going to be Skit Night.

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Skit Round

The next morning we were supposed to go to the Panhellenic Office in the student center and pick up our invites. I showed up between two of my classes and found out I’d been invited back to Sheldon, Howard, Leonard and Raj! I declined the invitation from Raj, and was glad that I didn’t have to go to class and face Stephanie. I left feeling incredibly flattered to have been invited back to all four sororities! Wow! That many people had thought I was worth-while, and despite all of the girls rushing had remembered me enough to extend an invitation? I was thrilled! I got on my cell (remember the clunky old Nokias with the interchangeable face plates? Mine was turquoise with glitter. Haha) and called Marti right away. She’d gotten her invites earlier that morning and had been invited back to Sheldon, Howard and Raj. No invite from Leonard? “Well that’s weird” I told her, but she was okay with it, so we kept on with our day counting down until it was time to get ready and go.

I had no idea what was going to be going on with skit night, but Marti and I arrived with bells on. Dress was supposed to be appropriate for church, so I wore black dress Capri pants, a short-sleeve, teal, v-neck blouse and strappy black wedges. I thought I looked pretty cute! We met with our PX groups and did another meet & greet game (I was getting pretty tired of these by then) then headed off to our first party.

Howard was my first party of the night again. I was prepared for the singing and yelling this time, but as I was led in I was still stunned at what I saw. All of the furniture in the room had been removed, and Howard decorations were everywhere including t-shirts that had been strung on clothes line and draped around the room. There were streamers, balloons, pillows and paddles, frames, wall décor, bulletin boards and hundreds of pictures. I was so overwhelmed and yet so taken by how cute, cozy and inviting it looked. I loved it! An incredibly sweet girl picked me up and we talked all about Howard. I got a very good sense of their strong sisterhood and how much they really cared for each other. I was again bumped by Brooke and we spent some more time chatting about Howard while occasionally actives would come and introduce themselves. A little while later the other PNMs and I had a seat in the middle of the room on a pile of cozy looking pillows and floor cushions. The Howards’ skit was a take on Grease. I felt “meh” about the skit itself because I’d seen similar Grease-themed skits done various times in high school and summer camps. But at the end of the skit all of the sisters sat down together, in what seemed like a very impromptu manner leaning on each other, throwing arms around each other and began singing a very sweet song. I found myself surprised to become emotional about it, but many of the sisters were tearing up and hugging each other as they sang. When the song was finished I was “collected” again by Brooke as she and the other Howards sang a peppy goodbye song and led us into the hallway. I was sad to have to leave, but I did run into Marti who had just emerged from the Raj party. She gave me a look that said it all. She had not liked the Raj party. And I gave her a look that let her know she would love the Howard party. We had a little bit more silent conversation (Don’t you love that about your best friends? You don’t even have to speak words to know exactly what the other is saying.), and then parted ways with our PX groups to get to the next party.

The next party I attended was at Sheldon. Their room didn’t look too different than the night before. I was paired up this time with an amazingly beautiful and perfect-seeming Sheldon with whom I had a great conversation about the Big/Little program. She raved about all of the gifts that the Littles were showered with and got really excited showing me gifts that she’d given and received that were around the room. The next girl I talked to was very friendly and informative and we walked around the room as she showed me various pictures of activities and philanthropy events. She too went on and on about the gifts that Littles and members in general gave and were given. Then I made a definite rushee mistake. We had walked over to a part of the room where there were many items with the Sheldon letters on them, and I asked, “So what exactly do the Sheldon letters stand for?” She very politely told me that that information was reserved for initiated members only, and I felt slightly abashed. At that time I literally had no clue about sorority secrets. I didn’t know that the letters and symbols and colors had secret meanings. I don’t know what I thought it all meant, but I certainly didn’t know that it was supposed to be a secret. Oops! (Marti would later tell me that she had meant to tell me this. Thanks Marti.) But the kind active moved the conversation on nicely and we kept talking. We were approached several times by actives who said they “just had to come and meet me!” Really? Me? I also had the opportunity to talk to Sarah Beth and Claire for a bit before the skit started. The Sheldon skit (though I won’t get into specifics because I think that would be a giveaway) was enthusiastic, loud and fun and I enjoyed it. I was disappointed that it didn’t trigger any emotional responses, and I didn’t get a sense that their sisterhood was as strong as Howard’s. I did however leave feeling excited about the idea of becoming a Sheldon.

I didn’t see Marti between parties again, so I moved with my group to the next party which was Leonard. Again there were loads of girls in the room, but we were quadruple-rushed, and again I couldn’t get a word in edgewise because of the three other PNMs. The first Leonard we talked with started by asking the same questions we’d been asked before (What’s your major? What did you do this summer? How are your classes?). I tried not to think much of it because I knew that she didn’t know us, but by this time I’d already been asked these questions quite a bit. I was ready to start talking about sisterhood and what life as a Leonard was like. The conversations never got there though, even after the bumping started. It became apparent that the other three PNMs at my table were not interested in Leonard and had decided to converse about other things – fashion, celebrities, etc. My attempts to bring the convo back were made futile, majority ruled. By the end of the conversation period I found myself frustrated and of the opinion that I would have rather spoken with an alumni one-on-one than be stuck trying to talk over three other PNMs. Going into the skit I was quite annoyed about the way things were going, but I tried to clear my head and watch the actives as they presented their award show themed skit. I don’t remember much about it, but I do remember that rather than all of the sisters singing together they had two girls singing a duet. And after being so impressed by the Sheldons’ and Howards’ group songs I was disappointed not to see more of a display of sisterhood from Leonard. The songs they sang were good and quite touching, but without rest of the Leonards supporting them on stage the performers just seemed more like good singers rather than sisters. I did notice that a PNM sitting a few chairs down was crying, and it made me feel kind of bad for not feeling like I wanted to cry. I hate to say it, but my overall experience made me ready to leave. On my way out no one said goodbye to me, and I left feeling like I’d been cheated of a chance to see the sisters interact with each other as a group in the way that Sheldon and Howard had.

Back in our PX groups we took the time to rank our favorites in order, with the last one being the group we’d prefer not to return to for Pref. I ranked as follows:

1.Howard, Sheldon
2. Leonard

Marti, having attended Howard, Raj and Sheldon ranked Sheldon and Howard as her first choices and Raj as her last. We left for the night (but not before another meet & greet game with our PX groups!) and went home to discuss what our nights had been like. Marti had enjoyed the Howardparty, though not as much as I had. She had loved the Sheldon party more than I had (she was particularly smitten with the Big/Little program and all the gift giving/receiving that ensued). And that’s when Marti said something that has stuck with me since that night. She said, “You know, it seems to me that if you want stuff you become a Sheldon, but if you want sisterhood you become a Howard.” Those words struck a chord in me and though the conversation moved on I kept hearing those words over and over again in my head. What did I want? Did I want letters and stuff or did I want sisters? (Note: This is not to say that the ladies of Sheldon did not have a good sisterhood (they did), or that the ladies of Howard didn’t have “stuff” (they did), those are just the characteristics that stood out to me during the craziness of recruitment.)

We went on to discuss the Leonard and Raj skit parties. I vented my aggravation about Leonard and of course Marti shared my frustration in the way that best friends do. She went on to tell me that the Raj party wasn’t good at all. She said that the girls were again painfully quiet and that she had a really hard time talking to them. (That was really saying something. Marti’s the kind of gal who never meets a stranger. She can strike up a conversation with a brick wall.) She said that the skit, while cute in theory had come off poorly in practice because the girls just didn’t seem like the skit-type. She did say that they seemed to love each other and that she was sure that there were girls in her group that really loved the Rajs.

We fell asleep excited about getting our invitation the next morning. The next evening would be Pref…