Bid Day Activiites? Drag show and groping?

[SWTXBelle]

What would the new member's mothers think is, I believe, a fair question. I'd be horrified if my daughter were groped during bid day. As an advisor, I'd be asking myself what would my risk management team think. It sounds like the op's experience was fun - but I could see it taking a dark turn in a heartbeat.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

As a modern day FL girl from a major city, I don't forsee most girls in the region having a problem with it. And if they did, they'd probably have refused to go inside or on the stage (depending on their level of comfort). A drag show is not a surprise for most people who have owned a tv or watched a movie in the past 10 years. I know plenty of guys who refuse to go because they don't want that to happen, so I can't imagine a girl going along with it if she didn't want to. I don't want to be the "girl who cried old" or mean but there are many things I see people of a certain age nitpick at on this site that I find to be very out-dated in thought. But to each his own.

[AZTheta]

The way I interpret the founders question is to mean "is this something that would reflect positively on the organization?" That's my take on it. It's always interesting to hear/read others' viewpoints and thoughts; that's something I enjoy about these conversations. "Keep an open mind" - this is a good reminder to me. So I'll think about what everyone else says/posts.

And from a risk standpoint, there are always going to be concerns. Seeking a balance is what's tricky. Also consider the peer pressure factor; I don't know that many 18 year olds who are confident enough to walk away from awkward or uncomfortable situations. They still want very much to fit in and aren't totally comfortable in their own skins. That's what I've observed.

There isn't a one-size-fits-all answer here, I guess.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

What would the new member's mothers think is, I believe, a fair question. I'd be horrified if my daughter were groped during bid day. As an advisor, I'd be asking myself what would my risk management team think. It sounds like the op's experience was fun - but I could see it taking a dark turn in a heartbeat.

It would depend on what the objections were I think. I could see people objecting to the drag show purely on the grounds that it's a drag show.

[G8rAXO]

My daughter at the same university went with her new pledge class and all of the sisters to a very nice restaurant for their Bid Day celebration. Lots of sisterly bonding!

[Drolefille]

Drag show - fine, appropriate, silly, fun, whatever
Being groped - not so much

[33girl]

I think you guys are REALLY blowing the "groped" mention out of proportion. Like, to the point that you're being ridiculous. Do any of you have any clue what these shows are really like?

It would be nice if we could just be happy for the PNMs who have found new homes they love instead of picking apart their posts.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think you guys are REALLY blowing the "groped" mention out of proportion. Like, to the point that you're being ridiculous. Do any of you have any clue what these shows are really like?

It would be nice if we could just be happy for the PNMs who have found new homes they love instead of picking apart their posts.

Yes. I have a clue. I've even attended a "bachelorette party" at a similiar establishment.

And I still don't see that being groped = fun. The risk management thread is full of activities that were "fun" until they were not. And I'm not buying into the "oh, they wouldn't have done it if they weren't having fun." It would be very difficult to be the one member to object, especially if you were a new member, hoping to fit in. Yes, I'm happy for the PNM, but that doesn't mean I can't object to behavior that does not, imho, seem appropriate for an official sorority event.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

And I'm not buying into the "oh, they wouldn't have done it if they weren't having fun." It would be very difficult to be the one member to object, especially if you were a new member, hoping to fit in. Yes, I'm happy for the PNM, but that doesn't mean I can't object to behavior that does not, imho, seem appropriate for an official sorority event.

Thank you.

Re: a girl not going in if she isn't comfortable... Why put a brand new member in this kind of situation to begin with? After everything the PNMs have gone through during the week to join a sorority and be accepted, how many of them would want to risk being the "weird one" who doesn't want to do something that they might truly find offensive?

I'm very culturally aware and I'm also aware that south Florida is its own little unique world. But I still think this is a mistake and that's why I started a new thread about it rather than hijacking the recruitment story thread. While some of us may be "older" and appear out of touch with what we ask, we've also gained some wisdom along the way and like to help people think through potential mistakes ahead of time.

I realize at all of (gasp!) 43 I must sound really out of touch, but I couldn't let this comment pass without saying something. I wanted to know if this was a common sorority event these days. I know plenty of lovely young women who would make great sorority members who would also be stunned if this was their bid day activity. I would be mortified if I sold them on all the benefits of sorority membership and found out this was their introduction to sorority life.

[ThetaDancer]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think you guys are REALLY blowing the "groped" mention out of proportion. Like, to the point that you're being ridiculous. Do any of you have any clue what these shows are really like?

It would be nice if we could just be happy for the PNMs who have found new homes they love instead of picking apart their posts.

AMEN!

Frankly, what I find a lot more uncomfortable than the concept of a drag show is that this thread is so passive-aggressively aimed at a particular person/chapter. A particular poster is quoted in the title, but then the OP wants us to answer some "general" question about whether this is a "popular" activity.

The thread that is being referenced was such a positive one for several reasons and I'd really rather be happy that the pnm found a great new home and had a good experience. There are so many better take-away points from that thread, IMO, and I hate that we're picking it apart like this.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think you guys are REALLY blowing the "groped" mention out of proportion. Like, to the point that you're being ridiculous. Do any of you have any clue what these shows are really like?

It would be nice if we could just be happy for the PNMs who have found new homes they love instead of picking apart their posts.

I do, personally...and while I'm not up for being groped even at something as harmless as a drag show without liquid courage, I really don't give a damn if someone else participates...but the question of is it appropriate for a Bid Night activity is fair, because it's a curious choice to some people since what would be appropriate obviously varies from campus to campus. (And varies from pledge class to pledge class...I can see my pledge class being totally up for that, but the more recent ones being scared to death, from my own chapter.)

Originally Posted by peace<3phi

I want to add the perspective of a new member of this chapter.

The place we went is a restaurant downtown that has drag/cabaret shows. All around it is an exciting and fun atmosphere. I don't think I saw one girl who wasn't having the time of her life (possibly because my Alpha and I raced everyone for the front and center table). We had dinner and then the cabaret started. The entire night was filled with singing, dancing, and laughing. The food was good and I'm almost positive everyone had a good time.
The "groping" was limited to maybe a handfull of girls up front (and if your not interested in taking part, you generally don't sit up front for any type of show whether it be drag, magic, or comedy) and it wasn't any worse than what happens on a regular basis at bars surrounding the college.

The OP of the thread that started this one and I had a blast from what I could tell and what I saw of the rest, well they were standing in chairs to get a better look.

Love from a baby Phi

Glad you had fun and congrats on finding your home!

[AlphaFrog]

I agree that the OP probably didn't have malicious intent starting this thread. A particular event inspired it, but I don't think the OP was wanting us to pick apart that event (or chapter) as much as start a discussion.

I would think that a good measure is (rather than "WWFD? - What would Founders do? Or even alums/moms/grandmothers) ...would you (barring gender-specific details) do this on a first date? Clearly, the answer is going to vary, and that's ok. That's where chapter and campus dynamics come into play.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I agree that the OP probably didn't have malicious intent starting this thread. A particular event inspired it, but I don't think the OP was wanting us to pick apart that event (or chapter) as much as start a discussion.

I would think that a good measure is (rather than "WWFD? - What would Founders do? Or even alums/moms/grandmothers) ...would you (barring gender-specific details) do this on a first date? Clearly, the answer is going to vary, and that's ok. That's where chapter and campus dynamics come into play.

Agree, "what would our founders do?" is a horrible standard to go by. Because they wouldn't be doing 90% of the things the average female college student does, from wearing jeans to going to bars.

I like for actives to think about how what they do reflects on the international organization...as long as they remember that they are in college, and some members will make mistakes, and that's ok.

It does appear from the posts made by chapter members that generally speaking this wouldn't be crossing the line.

[peace<3phi]

I want to add the perspective of a new member of this chapter.

The place we went is a restaurant downtown that has drag/cabaret shows. All around it is an exciting and fun atmosphere. I don't think I saw one girl who wasn't having the time of her life (possibly because my Alpha and I raced everyone for the front and center table). We had dinner and then the cabaret started. The entire night was filled with singing, dancing, and laughing. The food was good and I'm almost positive everyone had a good time.
The "groping" was limited to maybe a handfull of girls up front (and if your not interested in taking part, you generally don't sit up front for any type of show whether it be drag, magic, or comedy) and it wasn't any worse than what happens on a regular basis at bars surrounding the college.

The OP of the thread that started this one and I had a blast from what I could tell and what I saw of the rest, well they were standing in chairs to get a better look.

Love from a baby Phi

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think you guys are REALLY blowing the "groped" mention out of proportion. Like, to the point that you're being ridiculous. Do any of you have any clue what these shows are really like?

It would be nice if we could just be happy for the PNMs who have found new homes they love instead of picking apart their posts.

Amen.

Originally Posted by peace<3phi

I want to add the perspective of a new member of this chapter.

The place we went is a restaurant downtown that has drag/cabaret shows. All around it is an exciting and fun atmosphere. I don't think I saw one girl who wasn't having the time of her life (possibly because my Alpha and I raced everyone for the front and center table). We had dinner and then the cabaret started. The entire night was filled with singing, dancing, and laughing. The food was good and I'm almost positive everyone had a good time.
The "groping" was limited to maybe a handfull of girls up front (and if your not interested in taking part, you generally don't sit up front for any type of show whether it be drag, magic, or comedy) and it wasn't any worse than what happens on a regular basis at bars surrounding the college.

The OP of the thread that started this one and I had a blast from what I could tell and what I saw of the rest, well they were standing in chairs to get a better look.

Love from a baby Phi

^^^ This, to me, is what brotherhood or sisterhood is about. Having a good old fashioned bawdy day out and memories lasting a lifetime.