How long do you 'date' before...

Her Dopenezzz · #1 05-27-2002, 06:09 PM

How long do you 'date' someone before thinking that it's time to be in a more serious relationship? If you were dating someone for x months/weeks and you were still not in a monogamous, committed relationship, would you stick around and wait it out or do you walk away?

arRHOgance4 · #2 05-28-2002, 12:38 PM

Well me and my boyfriend were "dating", "kicking it", whatever you wanna call it for almost a year and a half before we made it official. And for the last seven months i was basically his girlfriend without the title, I did all the things a girlfriend does. But the difference is...we were being comitted and monogamous, we just weren't an official couple. Besides, I cared for him deeply, and I knew he did want to make it official one day...he was just waiting to be absloutely sure that I was that one. A relationship is a big step up...you can no longer just walk away from someone.
So to make a long story short, I say go for what you feel. There is NO set time limit in my opinion. My friends constantly told me that I didn't have to wait around, that he was bullsh*ting, but if you can stick it out...then do it. Because what we have now is even better than before, and my friends are estatic for me.

However, if it's been over a year, and the boy still won't be monogamous or exclusive to you...I say let him know he better TAKE IT...OR LEAVE IT!

But that's just my 22 cents

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DOVE1920 · #3 06-02-2002, 03:56 PM

Yeah I agree that there is no set time. Something will happen where you know its time to take it to the next level.

Her Dopenezzz · #4 06-03-2002, 03:11 PM

See, this question came up b/c I was speaking to someone who said that if the guy she was dating didn't make it exclusive within the next month, she was out. Then we got on the question of whether or not demanding to be exclusive is reallly badgering the dude into a relationship or if it's just being assertive. So, I decided to ask all of you to get your opinions.

PrettyKitty · #5 06-03-2002, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Her Dopenezzz
See, this question came up b/c I was speaking to someone who said that if the guy she was dating didn't make it exclusive within the next month, she was out. Then we got on the question of whether or not demanding to be exclusive is reallly badgering the dude into a relationship or if it's just being assertive. So, I decided to ask all of you to get your opinions.

Spec, I've been there before. Usually when you place limitations or holds or barriers and deliver ultimatums it comes back to bite you in the behind. I think the best bet in any relationship is to be realistic and optmistic, while knowing exactly what you want/expect. I feel that one of the main problems most females have in relationships is the belief that a man will change miraclously after being with them and when it doesn't happen, they either try to cut their losses or stay on in their own "reality" of the situation. The truth is, some men do change, but they change because they want to change, not because you want them to change. And if he was a dog before you dated him, chances are he is still going to be one while you are dating him. So, why waste time and energy on something you know you don't want, with false hopes of miracles?
Me personally, I know exactly what I want, and I will not settle for less.

lil_sunshine · #6 06-03-2002, 04:59 PM

It solely depends on the people involved. If they'd like to take their relationship to another level, why stop them? Besides, people always try to think of what others may say, and that influences their decision making. Always follow your heart and not the majority rule, b/c some people will think they know what's best for you and they can turn out to be wrong, wrong, WRONG!!! I think that it's good to date around and explore your options and not worry about putting all of your eggs in one basket.

BearyCuteAPhi · #7 06-03-2002, 05:03 PM

My boyfriend and I started as BESTFRIENDS...we took it to the next "half step", you know "talking" or "friends w/ benefits"....it was like that for 8 months until we made it official boyfriend/girlfriend....now we are going on 3 years together!!!!!

Ronnie