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08-05-2010, 07:55 AM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,566
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gung-Ho-Chi-O
Hi Ladies!
KSUViolet06...your random question regarding how parents deal with "Susie PNM" not pledging a certain sorority while being cut or of her own choice made another situation come to mind. By the way, I've never seen a new pledges mother behave in a upset manner & I have seen a handful that pledged where they were not in their legacy house on Bid Day & the moms were genuinely thrilled their daughters were happy :-)
I realize this is an Auburn thread so I want to be clear this sad situation I'll be describing did not occur in Auburn's greek system...it occured in my beloved Tuscaloosa. Imagine your oldest & middle daughters go through rush & both pledge the same sorority. Your daughters are a few years apart & enjoying their college experience, as well as making friends within that sorority that they will cherish for a lifetime. Now, your "baby", the third daughter, comes to Alabama will every expectation she'll be joining her sisters and she's been looking forward to it for years, hearing all the wonderful stories her sisters have shared with her.
This 3rd child of yours goes through Ice Water Teas & is suddenly, out of nowhere dropped. When you inquire with alumnae from your hometown what the problem may have been they seem as dumbfounded as you. Afterall, these were the same ladies who helped support your other daughters in their pursuit of pledging. It comes to light pretty soon that a very POWERFUL local alum who is way over-involved decided that your daughter was "too heavy" to even be considered & dropped her early on as soon as possible so she could find "a better fit" in the greek community. WHAT???
Yes, this happened & has occured more than once. I know it seems odd to read on a forum like this because I wouldn't believe it had I not seen it with my own eyes. I am a dear friend of one of the sisters & had graduated when this occured, but everyone seemed floored that this occured, especially since the girls from the house all loved the sister, the girls from the PNM's hometown were crazy about her, & she had incredible alum support from her hometown.
The PNM continued with rush, discouraged & shocked, but found her new home in a wonderful sorority. Our loss was definitely their gain! The local alum who needs to get a life is still around after decades & she typically sticks to supporting (or not supporting) her hometown girls. But, I don't doubt for a minute her nose is in everyone's business & if there's something or should I say someone she doesn't deem worthy, she will move heaven & earth to get her way.
I say all this because I thought of my friends parents while reading the question on moms & how they handle their emotions. Imagine the class it took to be her parents, show up on Bid Day to your youngest daughter's new sorority house, all the while your middle daughter is all upset & angry at her house which is in close proximity to her baby sisters house. Now, I wasn't there, but I know this alum & she never misses a Bid Day. She stands outside all day hugging the "new babies" she's approved of. I am more than sure my friend parents saw her numerous times that day although I never asked because I tried to listen & not ask questions. The situation was stressful & I didn't want to upset my friend. I am sure they held their heads high even though I know for a fact my friends dad wanted to get her alone & just deck her!!
Sorry it I sounds like I'm ranting... it all turned out fine. I just thought people should be aware of the power some local alums have & choose to take in order to get their way...sure am glad "Miss Perfect" approved of me when I went through rush :-)
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I think if that had happened to me/my daughter, my next move (after going to the rifle range and putting powerful local alum's pic on the target and shooting the @#$% out of it) would be to contact national HQ and ask their help in drafting a policy that prevents this ridiculousness, for ALL chapters, with severe consequences if the alums just. don't. get. it.
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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08-05-2010, 08:05 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 945
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
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This. I know SEC is a world I will never really understand but I just don't get how an alum can have so much power in membership selection.
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*~*The Brotherhood of Man and the Alleviation of the World's Pain*~*
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08-05-2010, 08:08 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 14,355
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 I could just cry for in-house legacies who don't get a bid (as long as they haven't done something heinous). It's so wrong! I hear about more and more cases and all the house says is, "We liked other people better." Maybe so but now they've probably lost the in-house sister and sometimes her friends. What did they expect?
One of my daughters rushed as an in-house legacy, knowing full well what could happen. The chapter had released IHLs before and in fact released 2 that year. Both girls were ecstatic when she got her bid.
PNMs, please remember that nothing is for sure until you have that bid in hand!!
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08-05-2010, 09:28 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: naples, florida
Posts: 18,682
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation
PNMs, please remember that nothing is for sure until you have that bid in hand!!
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AMEN!
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I live in Fantasyland and I have waterfront property.
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08-05-2010, 10:29 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: metro Atlanta, GA
Posts: 330
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation
 I could just cry for in-house legacies who don't get a bid (as long as they haven't done something heinous). It's so wrong! I hear about more and more cases and all the house says is, "We liked other people better." Maybe so but now they've probably lost the in-house sister and sometimes her friends. What did they expect?
One of my daughters rushed as an in-house legacy, knowing full well what could happen. The chapter had released IHLs before and in fact released 2 that year. Both girls were ecstatic when she got her bid.
PNMs, please remember that nothing is for sure until you have that bid in hand!!
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And sometimes, to make matters worse, the other chapters will drop you after open house if you have an in house sister because they figure they're wasting an invitation on you because you'll be joining your sister. So then you're left sitting around with big holes in your schedule with no options at all.
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