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I tell people that Iīm not feeling guilty over my moms suicide, even though I had a fight with her the last time I saw her. I donīt tell people that I wish I had been there for her instead of getting angry at her because she wouldnīt talk to me.
I donīt tell my boyfriend that I envy him for having parents.
I donīt tell people that I feel guilty about not visiting my dad often enough when he was in the hospital. I also donīt tell them that I was afraid of seeing him all thin and ghost-like. I sometimes lied about having visited him, or how long I visited him. I lie about not caring that I didnīt make it in time to see him go.
I tell my boyfriend Iīm alright and that he doesnīt have to worry about me.
I pretend to be all grown up, even though I have no idea how to take care of everything all by myself.
I lie about being able to handle everything. If something doesnīt work out, I lie about it, because they can never see me fail.
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