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I definetly don't think you're being too harsh!! I wouldn't give a letter rec if I don't know the person. I see it this way. When I was active at UCF, we had hundreds of girls going through rush, and unfortunately, we didn't get the chance to meet every girl that walked through. We basically had to trust our sisters' opinion and go from there. That's what a letter of rec is- a sister's opinion- and I know my chapter took them very seriously! Knowing that, I would have to know the PNM before writing one. If one of my friends/co-workers knew the PNM, I would take that into consideration.
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