Boyfriend Question (please help) - Page 5

luvdrunk · #1 05-28-2010, 10:35 AM

The state I live in and the one I go to school in are the same.

I sent some very threatening (or I thought so) stuff which he sent me to his campus minister and counselor (Things like "I hope you get raped and shot"... I’m a virgin so it’s offensive and beyond cruel along with various other ways of wishing me harm and pain). I have Gmail keep all my chats so I have record of everything.

I agree about the possessions. He says I can have them back if I pay for the ring. He did something like this before with the 3rd party/counselor though I got all my stuff back. Third party would probably be a few church elders or pastor. I used to go to his church, but stopped going once he started “acting up” but no biggie if I can't retrieve them.

I feel like crying (and I tear up) but i know he's not worth it anymore. He is blocked from my Gmail; I have it set to auto delete anything from him. My phone auto rejects him and I'm about to call the phone company and tell them to block his number from texts and phone calls. He's figured out a away to text my phone from Google, I don't think I can block those.

LD

Thank y'all for all the support and advice whether it be supportive or a harsh dose of reality. It kept everything in perspective and assured me I was doing the right thing.

AOII Angel · #2 05-28-2010, 10:52 AM

You don't have to justify your decisions to anyone. I think that your decision is very respectful of the parties involved. Good luck getting all of this taken care of with minimum drama. He needs counseling for sure. That rape comment is out of bounds no matter how upset he might be or what your sexual history is. That is a peek into a disturbed mind.

IrishLake · #3 05-28-2010, 10:48 AM

OMG LD, he sounds exactly like MY ex! If you're in Ohio, you have to PM me. Of course you are doing the right thing. Someday, you'll give the same advice to someone who is in an abusive relationship, and you can speak form experience of how happy you are now!

CopterDad · #4 05-28-2010, 11:11 AM

Got it. You come across as a really sincere girl.

Be assured that this scenario unfolds so many times a day all over campuses. As I've said, my good friend's daughter went through this several years ago at university. She is now happily getting married this summer to a wonderful young man.

God bless.

CopterDad · #5 05-28-2010, 11:40 AM

I see that I was extremely shortsighted on this issue. I would want my daughter to get this type of support from y'all in this way as well.

MysticCat · #6 05-28-2010, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

You don't have to justify your decisions to anyone. I think that your decision is very respectful of the parties involved.

This. And I'd suggest that luvdrunk and you delete the explanation. Even that is too much information for anyone who might be familiar with the situation.

AOII Angel · #7 05-28-2010, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This. And I'd suggest that luvdrunk and you delete the explanation. Even that is too much information for anyone who might be familiar with the situation.

Will do, Chief Justice Mystic Cat.

luvdrunk · #8 05-28-2010, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This. And I'd suggest that luvdrunk and you delete the explanation. Even that is too much information for anyone who might be familiar with the situation.

Done!

I realized that after I posted it that I shouldn't justify myself. I remember in counseling sessions I would always try to justify/rationalize everything. My counselor also told me that not everything needs to be (ex: in this case my ex’s behaviors are not my fault nothing I could think of can justify/rationalize that).

Thanks for all the prayers and support. My first cousins (of which there are 12 on one side!) have been greatly supportive as well. They did an amzing job distracting me and letting me vent. I'm an only child so it feels like I have 11 (long story) great siblings!

I hope that if another young lady goes through the same situation I have gone through (am going through) she has the support and prayers of friends, family, sisters, and random people just like I have. It's almost impossible to break free on your own unless you have someone to tell you that it'll be OK, this person isn't worth it, they aren't going to change etc. I didn't know HOW to start to break it off, I came and asked and was helped greatly!
Thanks,

LD

AZTheta · #9 05-28-2010, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This. And I'd suggest that luvdrunk and you delete the explanation. Even that is too much information for anyone who might be familiar with the situation.

MysticCat, I am asking (since you are the SCJOGC)... would it be prudent to delete other details/information as well? Many of the replies had quotes as well...

Or should the thread move to never-never land?

I'm ever-vigilant, and I'm cautious. Maybe too much so, but it's kept me out of harm's way.

DrPhil · #10 05-28-2010, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CopterDad

I see that I was extremely shortsighted on this issue. I would want my daughter to get this type of support from y'all in this way as well.

I hope you would prefer your daughter have "real life" people from whom to get advice and support. I wouldn't want my daughter to come to Greekchat (and create a sock puppet) for advice and support.

You all shared some touching stories and confirmed what the OP knew she should be doing. What next? More posts from luvdrunk as this becomes the official Luvdrunk's Life thread? Yikes.

Drolefille · #11 05-28-2010, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

What next? More posts from luvdrunk as this becomes the official Luvdrunk's Life thread? Yikes.

No, probably just someone who comes in to create a meta-discussion after the fact.

DrPhil · #12 05-28-2010, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

No, probably just someone who comes in to create a meta-discussion after the fact.

As long as this doesn't become the Luvdrunk's Life thread.

CopterDad · #13 05-28-2010, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I hope you would prefer your daughter have "real life" people from whom to get advice and support. I wouldn't want my daughter to come to Greekchat (and create a sock puppet) for advice and support. snip.

True. Yet, the OP's real life support failed. If this device works for her, so be it.

DrPhil · #14 05-28-2010, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CopterDad

True. Yet, the OP's real life support failed. If this device works for her, so be it.

Congrats to her, but I hope Greekchat doesn't become the place of refuge. That's way too much responsibility for a message board.

AOII Angel · #15 05-28-2010, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Congrats to her, but I hope Greekchat doesn't become the place of refuge. That's way too much responsibility for a message board.

I totally agree, yet so many women have support systems that fail them in these cases. It's sad that too many people blow off these warning signs.