Picky dinner guests (kids)

[RaggedyAnn]

I accomodate for allergies and vegetarians and that is it. I also make sure I have whole milk in the house too, so that parents don't need to bring beverages with them. I have one brother who likes to serve his son particular foods, so he brings that with him and serves it at dinner, but that child is 2.

I think you have gone way above and beyond. Don't feel guilty about just serving what you planned. Unless their Mom is going to pay the $8 for the nuggets, I would stop and not feel guilty at all-but that's just me.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

My sister regularly makes remarks like "we'll get McD's on the way home, kids, or will say "we should have stopped on the way so that the kids will have something they will eat.

You really shouldn't let her attempts at guilt-tripping get to you.

[SydneyK]

ree-Xi, do you think that your sister allows her children to be rude to you simply because you're family? I know several people who think there's an obvious divide between what's appropriate for family and what's appropriate for non-family; unfortunately, the divide results in the family always getting dumped on. Personally, I think it's sad to treat non-family better than family, but hey, it seems to work for some people. I suspect your sister is one of those people. If I were in your shoes, I'd have a heart-to-heart with Sissy.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

ree-Xi, do you think that your sister allows her children to be rude to you simply because you're family? I know several people who think there's an obvious divide between what's appropriate for family and what's appropriate for non-family; unfortunately, the divide results in the family always getting dumped on. Personally, I think it's sad to treat non-family better than family, but hey, it seems to work for some people. I suspect your sister is one of those people. If I were in your shoes, I'd have a heart-to-heart with Sissy.

Thank you, everyone. My sister does let them have the dessert if the kids don't eat the "real" food. She does also cater to their pickiness at home. My hubby and I often wonder what those kids eat when they are at non-family homes, which they do often, as they are in the "we have six parties every weekend" type. I love them, but it makes me feel like crap when I lay a spread out and even if the kids had chosen what they wanted prior, more than half of it gets throw away.

As for having a heart-to-heart, it doesn't matter. She gives me the speech that her children are "take it or leave it", and that when she entertains, she always makes sure that everyone's preferences are taken into consideration.

Thanks again. At least I am not crazy; I really thought I was being insensitive thinking this way. They might be coming over this weekend...I'll let you know what happens if they do!!

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Thank you, everyone. My sister does let them have the dessert if the kids don't eat the "real" food. She does also cater to their pickiness at home. My hubby and I often wonder what those kids eat when they are at non-family homes, which they do often, as they are in the "we have six parties every weekend" type. I love them, but it makes me feel like crap when I lay a spread out and even if the kids had chosen what they wanted prior, more than half of it gets throw away.

As for having a heart-to-heart, it doesn't matter. She gives me the speech that her children are "take it or leave it", and that when she entertains, she always makes sure that everyone's preferences are taken into consideration.

Thanks again. At least I am not crazy; I really thought I was being insensitive thinking this way. They might be coming over this weekend...I'll let you know what happens if they do!!

Rules of eating at my house are simple.

1. This is what we are having.

1a. If you don't like it don't come.

2. If you are not here on time when food is served and it's gone when you get here...so sad too bad.

[violetpretty]

My first win/best post ever/WAL on GC!

[CopterDad]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

When we invite my sister's family over to eat, there's always a battle of some sort. Two of my sisters kids (8 & 10) are very picky eaters.

Whether it's a five-course Turkey dinner, or a cookout with burgers, dogs and chicken, they will ask me for chicken nuggets. And the nuggets have to be the ones that are shaped like dinosaurs. If not, they throw them away.

I always have a variety of dishes to suit everyone. I even ask what each person will want before they show up, to make sure that we cook enough of each type of food. My food is not overly flavored, though I have a variety of dressings and spices should someone want bbq or teryaki on their chicken, or mesquite on their steak. Basically, everyone (else) enjoys my food.

If the kids does choose hot dogs, they say "yuck" when it goes on their plate, because they will only eat dogs from the ballpark, and won't eat hot dogs with "lines on them" (from the grill). Same with burgers. Once on their plate, they announce that they will only eat McDonalds burgers. And whatever they do put on their plate, 75% goes in the trash, claiming that they are stuffed but ready to move onto dessert. So even if I do get those dinosaur nuggets, out of the 8 bucks for the pack of 25, maybe 6 pieces re eaten.

I used to indulge them when they were younger, but it's at the point where I think the kids should eat what I cook.

My sister regularly makes remarks like "we'll get McD's on the way home, kids, or will say "we should have stopped on the way so that the kids will have something they will eat. Mind you, the six year old will eat anything put in front of her - steak, chicken, salad, broccoli, fruit, vegetables.

Other friends of mine with picky nieces and nephews refuse to indulge and make 5 different meals. What do you all think? Yes, the two older kids pull this at home as well. When I was growing up, you ate what was put on your plate.

Any ideas on how to handle this? I don't want to be inhospitable, but it makes for some drama, and I hate having drama. And lastly, I always have a lot of leftovers that we end up not being able to eat.

Having lived through three stair step kids like your sister has, your drama over this is probably miniscule over at her house. Plus, the kids probably think of Aunt Ree just like mom or they probably wouldn't act like they do over at your house.

Unless its a holiday or something, as the aunt that the kids love to want to go to her house for fun, dinasaur nuggets, and dessert, I don't see where you have much of a problem here. Or, get with your sister and buy a bunch of McDs burgers or happy meals for the next dinner and suprise them.

Plus, just so you know, if they want to be little league kids, they know to only eat ballpark hotdogs.

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by CopterDad

Having lived through three stair step kids like your sister has, your drama over this is probably miniscule over at her house. Plus, the kids probably think of Aunt Ree just like mom or they probably wouldn't act like they do over at your house.

Unless its a holiday or something, as the aunt that the kids love to want to go to her house for fun, dinasaur nuggets, and dessert, I don't see where you have much of a problem here. Or, get with your sister and buy a bunch of McDs burgers or happy meals for the next dinner and suprise them.

Plus, just so you know, if they want to be little league kids, they know to only eat ballpark hotdogs.

And we wonder why so many kids feel entitled these days? Who's in charge, the parents or the kids?

I make one meal for the entire family. Our kids have to try a few bites. If they don't like it, fine, but they don't get a special dinner in lieu of what I make. I expect the same of them when we go to visit family or friends for meals.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

They might be coming over this weekend...I'll let you know what happens if they do!!

I'll tell you what I hope happens. I hope that as soon as one of them says "yuck" or otherwise complains, you'll smile and say "I'm sorry you don't like it, especially since it's what you asked for, but we don't complain about the food in this house. I'm sure your mom and dad have taught you better manners than that."

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by ISUKappa

And we wonder why so many kids feel entitled these days? Who's in charge, the parents or the kids?

I make one meal for the entire family. Our kids have to try a few bites. If they don't like it, fine, but they don't get a special dinner in lieu of what I make. I expect the same of them when we go to visit family or friends for meals.

Yep. A couple I used to sit for has FIVE kids. She has the same philosophy.

Their middle kids are 4, 6, and 8. They are of course in that picky age.

If Mom were to make separate meals for them, on top of making a regular meal for everyone else, she'd be in the kitchen ALL DAY.

If they visit other family or sitters and they take requests, great. But it is not expected that others will cater to them and she certainly isn't going to. I agree with that.

Sure, mom may not mind catering to her kids, but it is wrong to expect others (family or not) to do so (unless the kids have legit dietary issues like allergies or something).

[CopterDad]

Originally Posted by ISUKappa

And we wonder why so many kids feel entitled these days? Who's in charge, the parents or the kids?

I make one meal for the entire family. Our kids have to try a few bites. If they don't like it, fine, but they don't get a special dinner in lieu of what I make. I expect the same of them when we go to visit family or friends for meals.

I hear you, but the OP has already voiced her frustration on them only eating a few bites. That may work for you, but a lot of families want their kids to eat what is put on the plate.

As to little league and entitlement to play, moms just have to learn the hard way.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by CopterDad

I hear you, but the OP has already voiced her frustration on them only eating a few bites. That may work for you, but a lot of families want their kids to eat what is put on the plate.

It's hardly an unreasonable goal to want them to eat what is put on their plate while learning to eat all kinds of food, specifically what the rest of the family is eating.

Believe me, having a kid with Asperger's I understand where you're coming from. There are some foods (many actually, including hot dogs with lines) that he's picky about because the textures and tastes are just plain off-putting to him. But I don't think we do him any favors by not serving him what we're having. We try to make sure there's always something that he'll like on the plate, but otherwise as a general rule, "this is what we're having tonight. Make the best of it without complaining." If he leaves too much food on his plate, well, that hungry feeling he has later will teach him to eat what's put in front of him.

And I still say there is no excuse for these kid's rudeness, which is the major problem. Mom and dad are doing them no favors letting them get away with that.

As to little league and entitlement to play, kids just have to learn the hard way.

Fixed it for you.

[CopterDad]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

And I still say there is no excuse for these kid's rudeness, which is the major problem. Mom and dad are doing them no favors letting them get away with that.
Quote:
As to little league and entitlement to play, kids just have to learn the hard way.
Fixed it for you.
__________________


Fixed it for you.

Thanks, I hate you. Still, it's the weekend and I don't see a problem getting three happy meals to squelch a drama episode, easy as pie.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by CopterDad

Having lived through three stair step kids like your sister has, your drama over this is probably miniscule over at her house. Plus, the kids probably think of Aunt Ree just like mom or they probably wouldn't act like they do over at your house.

Unless its a holiday or something, as the aunt that the kids love to want to go to her house for fun, dinasaur nuggets, and dessert, I don't see where you have much of a problem here. Or, get with your sister and buy a bunch of McDs burgers or happy meals for the next dinner and suprise them.

Plus, just so you know, if they want to be little league kids, they know to only eat ballpark hotdogs.

No offense, but when my family - both sisters, their kids, my mom, my brother and his girlfriend - come over, there's a good 15 people in my house. Neither I nor my husband are going to run out in the middle of a dinner or picnic we are hosting to go pick up a bunch of happy meals. We are very hands-on hosts, and do our best to give everyone a great time. We get toys for the kids to play with outside, set aside a spare room for them to play video games and board games in, and a bunch of other stuff to make them feel welcome.

As some of you have said, the problem is really my sister and what she allows the kids to get away with. I love her and her kids, but they are high-maintenence guests.

To further reiterate my family's, um, issues -a couple of years ago, I had gotten out of the hospital after 2 weeks inpatient. They all (both sisters, their kids, etc.) decided to come over (at once) to "welcome me home" - at my house. My husband had just been getting by with food shopping, spending 8-10 hours at work and a few hours at the hospital with me every day....

.....Well all 15 people showed up - en masse - and I ordered pizza and grinders (getting everyone's orders, even the kids). It took longer than 20 min to get here, so my sisters took off to go to the grocery (they claimed they were starving). So my hubby and I had to entertain the 5 kids and the husbands, my mom, bro and his gf. My sisters arrived back at my house as the pizza was getting there, with - you guessed it - chicken nuggets and cookies (you can guess the kids ate the nuggets and cookies instead of the specific things they ordered - cheeseless pizza, grinders). They ate, left a ton of garbage all over (mind you, I was recuperating from double pneumonia and a blood clot), and then left after 2 hours here.

Yet if I call them on it, I am the rude one. Thanks for the chance to vent and kind advice. You can't choose your family - they are all I have - but sometimes, it's hard to deal with them. And for the record, they AREN'T coming here tomorrow; we're going over there.

Thanks for everything!!

[33girl]

Dog Chow.

Seriously, I know you don't like drama, but this is asinine. Just tell them "we won't be making any special meals for the kids. If this isn't OK with you or them, get them a sitter, or just don't come."

I was a picky as hell eater as a kid, but at age TEN I could certainly find things when I went to someone else's house for dinner that I could eat. I also got far more wide ranging tastes when I got older (esp after I went to college) so anyone worrying about kids not eating this or that, trust me, it won't kill them. I have a far more wide-ranging variety of foods I like than many of my friends or family.