To Wait or Not To Wait: That is the Question

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

ETA: So would it be too presumptuous of me to start a little wedding fund now so I can get married at my convenience? When my future guy proposes, I can tell him "How's next month? I've been saving for this since before I met you!"

LOL.

It's a good idea to save and invest. You can put your investment into whatever funds you want. I know of people who have pretty interesting funds. But, don't tell everyone that's what you're doing and certainly don't tell a man. Creepy + Obsessed x 100.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

LOL.

It's a good idea to save and invest. You can put your investment into whatever funds you want. I know of people who have pretty interesting funds. But, don't tell everyone that's what you're doing and certainly don't tell a man. Creepy + Obsessed x 100.

Didn't we have a discussion on here about already having the ring you want so the guy doesn't have to stress about it? LOL But don't tell him until you're already talking marriage because he'll just creeped out instead of relieved?

<----still thinks it's a great idea.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Didn't we have a discussion on here about already having the ring you want so the guy doesn't have to stress about it? LOL But don't tell him until you're already talking marriage because he'll just creeped out instead of relieved?

<----still thinks it's a great idea.

Oh no!

My former bestfriend had her wedding dress and everything picked out before we got to college and her "dream man" in mind by the time we graduated. Some call that being a woman because women are supposed to give a damn about stuff like that. I call that being a loser who has nothing else going for you.

There's a difference between knowing what you would/wouldn't have in mind if the time ever comes versus taking the "add man then stir" approach to life.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Oh no!

My former bestfriend had her wedding dress and everything picked out before we got to college and her "dream man" in mind by the time we graduated. Some call that being a woman because women are supposed to give a damn about stuff like that. I call that being a loser who has nothing else going for you.

There's a difference between knowing what you would/wouldn't have in mind if the time ever comes versus taking the "add man then stir" approach to life.

Uuuuuh yeah, there's a difference between having the ring you want (whether purchased or handed down) in a drawer somewhere and already purchasing a freaking wedding gown. That's like....whoa.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Uuuuuh yeah, there's a difference between having the ring you want (whether purchased or handed down) in a drawer somewhere and already purchasing a freaking wedding gown. That's like....whoa.

LOL. I agree, although I don't believe in having the ring you want. LOL.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Didn't we have a discussion on here about already having the ring you want so the guy doesn't have to stress about it? LOL But don't tell him until you're already talking marriage because he'll just creeped out instead of relieved?

<----still thinks it's a great idea.

Doesn't that take some of the fun out of winning at life? I mean... maybe it's just my situation but I think Live-in would be pretty disappointed if he couldn't buy his future wife her engagement ring. But, he also loves to get someone "the perfect gift."

Plus, that's a gift from his heart to mine. It's not all about the size or cut of the diamond, or the type of metal used. I'd rather not buy myself a gift from his heart.

But I think it's fine to save up. You might need that money for a rainy day, too, and saving actually helps the economy (gives more money to banks, who lend more freely, encouraging economic growth for small and medium-sized businesses, as long as they're not lending stupidly).

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by agzg

Doesn't that take some of the fun out of winning at life? I mean... maybe it's just my situation but I think Live-in would be pretty disappointed if he couldn't buy his future wife her engagement ring. But, he also loves to get someone "the perfect gift."

Plus, that's a gift from his heart to mine. It's not all about the size or cut of the diamond, or the type of metal used. I'd rather not buy myself a gift from his heart.

Some people have family diamonds, and I get that. But to just have one that you already want takes the "gift for you that I picked out" factor out of it. Makes it more like an "add man and stir" kind of situation. I don't want that.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Some people have family diamonds, and I get that. But to just have one that you already want takes the "gift for you that I picked out" factor out of it. Makes it more like an "add man and stir" kind of situation. I don't want that.

I have family diamonds but those mean something different to me - they mean my relationship with my mom and her relationship with hers - they don't mean my relationship with live-in.

I guess family diamonds are alright but I don't think it's right for me. But I'd be happy with a piece of glass in some tin foil.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

LOL. I agree, although I don't believe in having the ring you want. LOL.

But...but how can I WAL if I don't liiiiiike iiiiiittt???

Originally Posted by jdrama

I would say yes to a $50 ring from the pawn shop if it's the right man.

I used to joke that I'd say yes to a ring pop. A ring pop in my favorite flavor would mean more than some gaudy 10-carat ring that is more him showing off than looking for something I'd like.

But if I could get to choose....

[jdrama]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

But...but how can I WAL if I don't liiiiiike iiiiiittt???


I used to joke that I'd say yes to a ring pop. A ring pop in my favorite flavor would mean more than some gaudy 10-carat ring that is more him showing off than looking for something I'd like.

But if I could get to choose....

I don't even know what kind of right I'd want. I don't like rings. I had a purity ring and that's the longest ring I wore.

I don't want to pick my own ring out. I want the ring and chose because I would want to ask 'Why did you choose this ring?' and I want the whole reasoning.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Some people have family diamonds, and I get that. But to just have one that you already want takes the "gift for you that I picked out" factor out of it. Makes it more like an "add man and stir" kind of situation. I don't want that.

Also, your style can change SO much. What you liked at 22 may be completely different from what you want at 29, even if money's not an issue. I think about my jewelry tastes at 22 and shudder!