I Just got asked to be a date at fraternity formal

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

Then you probably shouldn't go away overnight with him. Unless this is a friendship where you guys consider yourselves to be like brother and sister, the dude is probably figuring he is going to get lucky. Just don't be naive.

I don't necessarily agree with this.

The formals I've been to/have heard about almost always involve a stay overnight... and not all of the brothers staying have dates that they're involved with. Believe it or not, it can be understood, even by fraternity guys (surprising, I know), that their date is simply a formal date, and that they need a place to crash for the night (who would make their date drive home?) Not ALL guys think that they're going to score simply because a friend is sharing a hotel room with them.

However, you can gague this situation better than any of us can.

[ree-Xi]

At my ex's formals, there were a lot of guys who took female friends. In our case, the Greek world on campus was very insular, and everyone knew everyone. Still, there were a couple of times when there were a few girls who weren't super close with their dates, and the guys in that situation would end up sharing a room with another single brother and the girls would get that other room (the brothers paid for it though).

The first year (we were both pledges that semester), we stayed in a two-bedroom room suite with his big brother and his gf (it was the a little less cost than 2 separate rooms, but the big bros took their roles seriously and "supervised" a bit. The following years, however, we had our own room/suite.

I just remembered that I still had all my stemware from all those formals. For that matter, I still have all my prom stemware. What do you all do with that stuff? I never use it but I feel bad throwing it all away.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I don't necessarily agree with this.

The formals I've been to/have heard about almost always involve a stay overnight... and not all of the brothers staying have dates that they're involved with.

Oh yeah, definitely - no problem there. But it sounds like she doesn't even know this guy well enough to feel comfortable broaching the subject. Usually when you ask someone as just friends it's very clear. In her situation, yes, I would be wary and non-naive.

ree-xi - I still use my formal stemware because, what the hell, a glass is a glass. If you don't want to use it, donate it to your chapter.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Oh yeah, definitely - no problem there. But it sounds like she doesn't even know this guy well enough to feel comfortable broaching the subject. Usually when you ask someone as just friends it's very clear. In her situation, yes, I would be wary and non-naive.

ree-xi - I still use my formal stemware because, what the hell, a glass is a glass. If you don't want to use it, donate it to your chapter.

Oh, it rarely gets used because we received formal drinkware as a wedding gift. It's just a matter of necessity. And the stuff from my ex's formals just aren't appropriate to use as I am married to someone else!

Thanks for the donation idea. I have stuff dating back to junior high through college. Someone might as well get use of it!

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Not ALL guys think that they're going to score simply because a friend is sharing a hotel room with them.

.

True, but it's best to err on the side of caution, especially since she said she's "concerned." It sounds like she barely knows the guy.