little question about alums visiting the chapter

hruffel · #1 04-01-2010, 09:02 PM

Ok so I had a quick question. I am an alumnae and I was wondering if I was allowed to go to any activity that my chapter does... Such as a candle pass where they are voicing their concerns. I was also wondering shouldn't the active sisters greet alum no matter who they are. I was just wondering because they ignored me when I walked into the room for an event and when I was an active sister I was always told that you stop what you were doing and greeted the alum. Just wondering if that is something that the girls are supposed to do or if it was just something that happened in the past. Thanks

TPA85 · #2 04-02-2010, 12:53 AM

I (personally) don't see any reason why alumnae wouldn't be permitted at an event, regardless of what the occasion is.
The matter of greeting though, I'm guessing varies from person to person. When I showed up to events after I graduated, I was greeted because the girls knew me...we had another alum that would show up here and there but only after being graduated for a while and none of the actives really knew who she was...so they were hesitant to just run up to her and start talking.
Don't know your exact situation though so it's hard to say...

33girl · #3 04-02-2010, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TPA85

I (personally) don't see any reason why alumnae wouldn't be permitted at an event, regardless of what the occasion is.
The matter of greeting though, I'm guessing varies from person to person. When I showed up to events after I graduated, I was greeted because the girls knew me...we had another alum that would show up here and there but only after being graduated for a while and none of the actives really knew who she was...so they were hesitant to just run up to her and start talking.
Don't know your exact situation though so it's hard to say...

This question was posted in the ZTA forum so it might be ZTA specific and best to only let ZTA sisters answer it.

TPA85 · #4 04-02-2010, 02:56 AM

OOPS!! Definitely didn't notice that! I usually check to see where I'm posting but I apparently didn't this time!

Sorry for the lane-swervetastic answer!

FSUZeta · #5 04-02-2010, 07:51 AM

no problem-it is always good to hear how other groups handle things.

unless you are an advisor for this chapter, i think that you should stay away from the "airing dirty laundry "candlepass, unless the advisors ask you to be there. while you may be a member of this chapter, you are an alum. and should not concern yourself in their affairs, or attend their events, unless invited.

i am wondering how you know that this candlepass is upcoming? do you have a little still in the chapter? let the advisors handle this-i can promise you that they have their fingers on the pulse of the chapter and should be there as unbiased observers. this candlepass should not happen unless advisors are present.

as far as being greeted by collegians when you enter a room, that would be the right thing to do. when i was a collegian, we always stood when an alumna entered the room and we did not sit until she had. you may want to send a note to the chapters general advisor, letting her know that there have been a couple of times that the collegians did not acknowledge when an alum. entered the room-give her a chance to address it with the chapter. collegians should still be acknowledging alumnae. you might also tell her how much you appreciate her volunteering her time with your chapter. they don't hear that enough!!

Senusret I · #6 04-02-2010, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

no problem-it is always good to hear how other groups handle things.

My APO chapter recently amended its bylaws to state that alums are welcome to chapter events only at the discretion of the executive board.

In practice, alums do not attend chapter meetings, certain pledge meetings and events, and "candle passes." They just wanted to codify that.

About a year prior, I believe another amendment was passed which prevented alumni from taking littles. There had been times where it might be advantageous for an alum to do so (to keep a certain tree alive or for the benefit of a pledge of a non-traditional age) but they decided to close that door for reasons unknown to me.

My personal philosophy is to only show up when invited, and sparingly even then. It has been my experience that collegians will often rely too heavily on alumni to say and do the things they need to say and do on their own.

SthrnZeta · #7 04-02-2010, 08:48 AM

I agree that collegians should stand when alumnae enter the room - that's what I did as a collegian and I thought that's what all chapters did. In terms of a candle pass that involves getting certain issues resolved in the chapter, I agree with FSUZeta, unless you're an advisor, I wouldn't attend (and a candle pass like that, an advisor will most likely be there anyway). Honestly, I would feel like I was intruding a bit. Yes, they're my sisters, but imagine how you'd feel as a collegian in their place... Even if you graduated last year and you still know many of the sisters in that chapter, there are still going to be new girls in the chapter since you left who don't know you and won't understand why you'd attend.

SydneyK · #8 04-02-2010, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

let the advisors handle this-i can promise you that they have their fingers on the pulse of the chapter and should be there as unbiased observers. this candlepass should not happen unless advisors are present.

Lane-swerving just to comment on the bolded.

I find it interesting that advisors are present at candlepasses. This wasn't customary in my (KD) chapter. I can definitely see the benefits of having an advisor attend such activities, though.

/end lane-swerve

SthrnZeta · #9 04-02-2010, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Lane-swerving just to comment on the bolded.

I find it interesting that advisors are present at candlepasses. This wasn't customary in my (KD) chapter. I can definitely see the benefits of having an advisor attend such activities, though.

/end lane-swerve

If it's to air dirty laundry and get some stuff out there, then yes an advisor should be present (we had a similar situation when I was in college and our GA attended it and moderated it). But if the girls really wanted to do something on their own, they'd find a way not to get an advisor involved, I'm sure. As far as having a candle pass for getting engaged, etc. then obviously an advisor doesn't need to be there for that and that's when I would feel like I was intruding unless I was invited to attend.

FSUZeta · #10 04-02-2010, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Lane-swerving just to comment on the bolded.

I find it interesting that advisors are present at candlepasses. This wasn't customary in my (KD) chapter. I can definitely see the benefits of having an advisor attend such activities, though.

/end lane-swerve

the advisors are at a "dirty laundry/airing grievances" candlepass merely to moderate, as sthrnzeta said. at the end of the candlepass, the g.a. might sum it all up or help end it on an upbeat note. this type of candlepass are usually quite cathartic, and everyone is happier afterward-we women can be quite odd at times!

hruffel · #11 04-02-2010, 03:20 PM

Thank you for your input. I found out that there was a candle pass as I was walking over to the event there were doing. They had a good big little where the littles gave their bigs their paddles. I was invited by a few sisters. They were told they were having a candle pass but didn't know for what untill after the event happened. The president nor the advisor was there.nothing bad was even said during it other then some sisters saying they wished people came to more events and to support one of the sisters by going to a few of her home rugby games.I guess no one other then her big went to her games and she wished that sisters would come to her games. It didn't bother me that I wasn't allowed I was just confused because I was told by the chapter that I was allowed to go to any event they had.

SthrnZeta · #12 04-05-2010, 04:20 PM

Technically, you're "allowed" to go to whatever you want, it's just a matter of what's appropriate and what's not appropriate. The way I look at it from an advisor's standpoint is this: if I were a collegiate in this chapter, would I think it was weird that an advisor was there? We were all collegiates once, right? If I feel like I shouldn't be there, then it's probably best that I butt out. EC/Chapter/rituals/recruitment/philanthropy events are pretty much what I stick to

ZetaGirl22 · #13 04-08-2010, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

as far as being greeted by collegians when you enter a room, that would be the right thing to do. when i was a collegian, we always stood when an alumna entered the room and we did not sit until she had.

Ditto. It was VERY strange to have current sisters that I still knew and was good friends with stand for me when I came to events as a fresh college grad LOL!

If it was an "airing of the grievances" candlepass though, I'd stay far away from it, unless I was an advisor, although I do recall having a few of these without and advisor there when I was a collegian.