9 Charged after girl kills herself over bullying

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

Shooooot! I know the game LOL

Haha!

I wonder if there have been any studies trying to figure out what caused this shift from "us being scared of parents" to "us wanting to fight parents and other adults?" I'd be interested in reading up on that.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Haha!

I wonder if there have been any studies trying to figure out what caused this shift from "us being scared of parents" to "us wanting to fight parents and other adults?" I'd be interested in reading up on that.

I'd love to read those studies! It's crazy how things change, it both frightens and saddens me.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Haha!

I wonder if there have been any studies trying to figure out what caused this shift from "us being scared of parents" to "us wanting to fight parents and other adults?" I'd be interested in reading up on that.

It's the way people parent now-a-days. In our day, we'd get our asses handed to us by our parents for even looking @ the teacher cross-eyed. Now, parents are encouraging their children to talk back to the teacher if the child feels like it.

I had a 6th grader tell me that he wasn't going to do any effin thing I said because his mom said if a teacher "doesn't give respect" don't give any back. All I asked him to do was stop playing his instrument and do the worksheet he was assigned.

My mom was yelled at by a parent for saying 'stupid' in class. She never directed the comment to the student, instead she said something (to the entire class) like "i don't care if you don't like this assignment or think it's stupid."

Parents need to get back into the habit of whooping their kids butts for getting out of line.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by epchick

It's the way people parent now-a-days. In our day, we'd get our asses handed to us by our parents for even looking @ the teacher cross-eyed. Now, parents are encouraging their children to talk back to the teacher if the child feels like it.

I had a 6th grader tell me that he wasn't going to do any effin thing I said because his mom said if a teacher "doesn't give respect" don't give any back. All I asked him to do was stop playing his instrument and do the worksheet he was assigned.

My mom was yelled at by a parent for saying 'stupid' in class. She never directed the comment to the student, instead she said something (to the entire class) like "i don't care if you don't like this assignment or think it's stupid."

Parents need to get back into the habit of whooping their kids butts for getting out of line.

My parents encouraged me to stand up for myself (and clearly, I have no problems doing that haha), but also made sure my sisters and I knew to respect our elders/authority figures. If I felt that someone was out of line, there are better ways to address the issues.

"I'm curious to know why you want me to finish this assignment when I completed it already"

works better than

"Bitch, I'm not doing this shit. I did it already! Kiss my ass!"

ETA: And, yea, beat your kids' asses from time to time.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

My parents encouraged me to stand up for myself (and clearly, I have no problems doing that haha), but also made sure my sisters and I knew to respect our elders/authority figures. If I felt that someone was out of line, there are better ways to address the issues.

"I'm curious to know why you want me to finish this assignment when I completed it already"

works better than

"Bitch, I'm not doing this shit. I did it already! Kiss my ass!"

ETA: And, yea, beat your kids' asses from time to time.

LOL!! Wait! No. But seriously, that's how they talk to teachers nowadays. I love that my mommy was one of those parents who had NO problem asking to have a meeting with me, her, the principal and the teacher I was having an issue with. I'd better NOT try to handle it on my own.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

LOL!! Wait! No. But seriously, that's how they talk to teachers nowadays. I love that my mommy was one of those parents who had NO problem asking to have a meeting with me, her, the principal and the teacher I was having issue with. I'd better NOT try to handle it my self.

My mom was the same way. If there were problems, she wouldn't hesitate to call the teacher and administrators (some of which weren't even involved lol) to get to the root of the issue.

Then I had to deal with "Wait til I tell your daddy."

To this day, I will second guess my decisions if I'm afraid mom and dad are gonna pop up and say something about said decisions.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

My mom was the same way. If there were problems, she wouldn't hesitate to call the teacher and administrators (some of which weren't even involved lol) to get to the root of the issue.

Then I had to deal with "Wait til I tell your daddy."

To this day, I will second guess my decisions if I'm afraid mom and dad are gonna pop up and say something about said decisions.

Yep the 90s kids were the start of the problem. I was born in '85 (and my cousins in '86 and '88) and we were all well-behaved and knew our right from our wrong. Our parents kept us in line when needed and just like k_s told us to speak our minds when necessary....to an extent.

Some of them have that mindset of "i'm not gonna be like my parent" so they act like the complete opposite.

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

Why would it be hard for a teacher to know how to respond? I don't understand that either. Many teachers these days need more backbone too. They shouldn't let the kids bully them.

The laws. What do you expect the teacher to do? The teacher can't do anything without risking getting fired. It's not about having a 'backbone.' Teacher's can't tell a student to 'sit their ass down' without being reprimanded. All a teacher can really do is call for help.

[DrPhil]

That's funny because our middle school and high school teachers told us to sit our asses down in the 80s and 90s. Perhaps it doesn't work that way now with these entitled kids of the Internet generation.

But, badass kids were not rare in many of these school systems. Teachers and administration knew how to handle them (with some exceptions) and everyone knew that if YOUR child is a badass, take their badass out of school OR get over the fact that an adult will borderline cuss out your child. There are plenty of ways to instill power and authority without stooping to a child's level--but, some kids NEED their asses handed to them through rough talk and/or embarassment. That's the only way that they'll believe that fat meat is greasy.

Parents and administration can't have it both ways. You either control these badass kids or give teachers the clear to damn near cuss their asses out. You can fuss at the teacher for doing it, but acknowledge that the teacher should've have HAD to do that and YOU dropped the ball somewhere.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by epchick

Yep the 90s kids were the start of the problem. I was born in '85 (and my cousins in '86 and '88) and we were all well-behaved and knew our right from our wrong. Our parents kept us in line when needed and just like k_s told us to speak our minds when necessary....to an extent.

Some of them have that mindset of "i'm not gonna be like my parent" so they act like the complete opposite.




The laws. What do you expect the teacher to do? The teacher can't do anything without risking getting fired. It's not about having a 'backbone.' Teacher's can't tell a student to 'sit their ass down' without being reprimanded. All a teacher can really do is call for help.

Well aaaccctttuuuallly, my teachers have said that before AND they added an "before I" to the end. We didn't want to find out what was going to happen if we didn't, so we sat our butts down. I also had a teacher literally wash a friends mouth out with a bar of soap. I miss those teachers, I want THOSE teachers to educate my children when I have some.

[DrPhil]

OK...

...so going with the logic of "these crazy kids are out of their damn minds these days," doesn't that potentially apply to both the bullies and those who are being bullied?

I don't care how much everyone is their parents' bundles of joy, parents never really know what their kids are doing when they are at school. There are some kids who are angels most of the time, but many kids (even the straight A students who are uber religious) have outlets where they unleash their badassness.

With that said, the bullies' parents are probably shocked by their behaviors and the the bullied's parents are probably clueless as to what their child may or may not have done to contribute to the bullying. Not every kid contributes to his/her bullying, but some kids do. So, blame the parents and adults, perhaps partially blame the kids at times--but, definitely examine this further to get a more complete picture of what's going on in these kids' lives.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

OK...

...so going with the logic of "these crazy kids are out of their damn minds these days," doesn't that potentially apply to both the bullies and those who are being bullied?

I don't care how much everyone is their parents' bundles of joy, parents never really know what their kids are doing when they are at school. There are some kids who are angels most of the time, but many kids (even the straight A students who are uber religious) have outlets where they unleash their badassness.

With that said, the bullies' parents are probably shocked by their behaviors and the the bullied's parents are probably clueless as to what their child may or may not have done to contribute to the bullying. Not every kid contributes to his/her bullying, but some kids do. So, blame the parents and adults, perhaps partially blame the kids at times--but, definitely examine this further to get a more complete picture of what's going on in these kids' lives.

You're right. Many parents have NO idea what their kids are doing at school. And kids ARE often really good at presenting themselves as little innocent angels while at home.

I also have found that in some instances, a parent may not exactly know, but they have an inkling because the child bullies THEM at home. smh

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by epchick

It's the way people parent now-a-days. In our day, we'd get our asses handed to us by our parents for even looking @ the teacher cross-eyed. Now, parents are encouraging their children to talk back to the teacher if the child feels like it.

I had a 6th grader tell me that he wasn't going to do any effin thing I said because his mom said if a teacher "doesn't give respect" don't give any back. All I asked him to do was stop playing his instrument and do the worksheet he was assigned.

My mom was yelled at by a parent for saying 'stupid' in class. She never directed the comment to the student, instead she said something (to the entire class) like "i don't care if you don't like this assignment or think it's stupid."

Parents need to get back into the habit of whooping their kids butts for getting out of line.

I'm Prettyface08 and I approve this message!

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Haha!

I wonder if there have been any studies trying to figure out what caused this shift from "us being scared of parents" to "us wanting to fight parents and other adults?" I'd be interested in reading up on that.

Back in graduate school, I had a conversation with one of my friends about this very topic. She had gone to some conference about how parenting shifted somewhere around the early to mid 80s. It used to be that people just had kids. They had them when they were young, without really really trying and if they couldn't have kids, they adopted (back when it was easy to do so) or they just didn't have kids.

Around the early 80s, it was a much bigger deal to have kids, for middle class families at least. For the first time, mainstream folks timed their careers around the best time to start a family. If it wasn't very easy, they spent thousands of dollars on difficult adoptions or reproductive technologies. Even if it was easy to have a kid, the safety of that baby became the center of their lives. This was around the time that "crib death," something that a lot of women experienced before, got the name SIDS. Remember the "Baby on Board" signs? Car seats weren't standard until around that time. In other words, people became so proud of their investment and creation that the kid could do no wrong.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Back in graduate school, I had a conversation with one of my friends about this very topic. She had gone to some conference about how parenting shifted somewhere around the early to mid 80s. It used to be that people just had kids. They had them when they were young, without really really trying and if they couldn't have kids, they adopted (back when it was easy to do so) or they just didn't have kids.

Around the early 80s, it was a much bigger deal to have kids, for middle class families at least. For the first time, mainstream folks timed their careers around the best time to start a family. If it wasn't very easy, they spent thousands of dollars on difficult adoptions or reproductive technologies. Even if it was easy to have a kid, the safety of that baby became the center of their lives. This was around the time that "crib death," something that a lot of women experienced before, got the name SIDS. Remember the "Baby on Board" signs? Car seats weren't standard until around that time. In other words, people became so proud of their investment and creation that the kid could do no wrong.

That makes sense.

But I was born in 84 and my parents were very invested in their careers. That didn't cut into their parenting, though, and they didn't think my sisters and I could do no wrong.

I know that my bubble isn't representative of the entire population, but from what I can tell, a lot of the problems have come up with these 90s babies.

[Ch2tf]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

That makes sense.

But I was born in 84 and my parents were very invested in their careers. That didn't cut into their parenting, though, and they didn't think my sisters and I could do no wrong.

I know that my bubble isn't representative of the entire population, but from what I can tell, a lot of the problems have come up with these 90s babies.

Same here, I was born in 81 and both my parents worked, but still took the time to parent, and they damn sure didn't think I could do no wrong. If anything more "blame" was placed on me than deserved with respect to school issues. I remember in 7th grade, I was falsely accused of making a bullying statement about the student. Well good ol' Mr. Kelly told my parents and lo and behold I was on punishment for MONTHS!! My parents weren't even trying to here that I actually didn't do it.